Erica: Hey, girl. By now, you know I have Her Collective, my online community for ambitious women who are done doing it alone. Her Collective is for the women who are smart, capable, and driven, but they find themselves stuck on the sticky floors like self doubt, burnout, and waiting for permission that quite honestly never comes. Inside her, you get more than motivation. You get real support, real strategies, and real momentum. We work on things like clarifying what you want now and what's coming next, building confidence without burning yourself out, navigating hard conversations, career moves, and leadership moments with clarity, and surrounding yourself with women who actually get it. This isn't about hustling harder. It's about moving intentionally with the right tools and the right people in your corner. If you're ready to stop spinning, start choosing yourself, and build a career in life that actually feels aligned, I'd love to welcome you inside her collective. You can learn more and join us at www.joinhercollective.com. Because honestly, girl, you were never meant to do this alone. When do you know that you have made it? If you're here, you are probably hard coded with a growth mindset. Accepting challenges is a part of your DNA. You don't accept the status quo and you're always looking for what you can do and how you can get to the next level. But let me ask you a question. Have you ever said to yourself, once I hit that 6 figure mark, I will finally feel financially secure? Or when I lose those pesky 10 pounds, I'll be happy with my body weight and I'll wear that bikini that's been hiding in the back of my closet. Maybe you've said, when I have VP in my title, I will know that I have made it. Y'all, I have definitely been there. I remember the first vision board that I created when I was a health and wellness coordinator back in the day, and it had this beautiful white kitchen on it, huge granite countertops, the words director in all capitals, and the cutout of $80,000 from magazine cutouts. And I kept this over my computer so that when I would look at it every day, I just knew that when I had all of those things, when I was making $80,000 a year and I was a director level status, My home looked like this. My work life looked like this, and I would be happy. I would be content, and I will have made it. But guess what? I accomplished every single thing on that vision board and more, quite honestly. Like, I never even had the director title in my job description. I actually jumped over top of that and quite quickly. And, yes, I actually do have a gorgeous, beautiful white kitchen with granite countertops. So why do those feelings of success and happiness and contentedness just quickly go away? Why is it replaced by these feelings of, is that it? Like, what do I do now? If you're anything like me, you don't stay content for long. And that hunger for growth and for goals, it comes back with a vengeance. It's like that itch that you just can't scratch. The confusing feeling actually has a name, and it's called the arrival fallacy. It's a psychological thought trap for those that are high achievers like me, like you, like us, and we have all experienced it. This term was introduced by the positive psychology expert, Tal Ben Shahar, in his book called Happier. Arrival fallacy is rooted in the concept that when we focus on future goals, we actually believe that we will reach them. That sounds like a good thing. Right? It sounds like confidence to me. Now that alone triggers this reward center in our brain, and it produces this feeling of accomplishment that actually becomes part of our identity. The tough piece of this is that we so easily adjust to this new you that when we actually hit that goal, it's kinda like, so what? What's the big deal? I've been living this for a while now. When we lose those 10 pounds, when we get that VP title or the white kitchen or the $80,000 annual salary, the achievement is the end point. And that end point leaves us wanting more. But the real question is, what is that? Where can we find it? Will we ever reach this level of happiness? Now, the key is that we have to enjoy the journey. Yes, this is very woo woo and fluffy, but life really is about the journey. We all have the same destination in the end, but every single journey for every single person is different. Now, this doesn't mean that I'm saying that you should settle for less than or live this life of mediocrity, but rather enjoy every step of the way. Every promotion, every win, every loss and all of the lessons that come with it. So you're probably saying, yeah, yeah, I get it, Erica. But for real, what can I do about this? How can I celebrate the wins? How can I enjoy the journey? Enjoy the goal setting y'all. What, what is more likely to actually make you happy is setting the goal, the setting of the goal, and the efforts and the actions that you put into place to achieve that goal rather than the goal itself. Make it a mindset. It doesn't have to be about achieving an endpoint. It could be about this constant continuous improvement. Maybe you wanna get faster. So your first goal could be to run a ten minute mile, Then it could be to run two ten minute miles, three ten minute miles, four ten minute miles. Then maybe you want to make that nine minute miles. There's a million ways that you could continue to improve your running goals without ever coming to an end. If it's a career goal, don't make it about title or a specific salary. Instead, make it about skill enhancement. You can never stop improving executive presence, right? Brushing up on your industry changes or challenges and adding to your skills. Take a moment to appreciate the positives in life. We can't enjoy the highs if we don't experience the lows. We can't enjoy the sun if we don't get caught in the rain. We can't understand how wonderful the light is if we haven't seen the dark. So if you are feeling those bummed out low moments, take a deep breath and think about what makes you happy and get specific about it. Maybe it's the way your dog snuggles up to you on the couch and noses your hand for more pets. Maybe it's your child's laughter. Maybe it is the feeling of sinking into a nice hot bath at the end of a day. Close your eyes and focus on that. Now one practice that I have for goal setting and truly trying to experience the journey is something that I do every single night. And I don't think anybody knows this about me, so I'm gonna get down and get real with you. But when I close my eyes every single night and I lay my head down on the pillow, I visualize something that I really want in life, that I really want out of life. And I get really granular with it. And I focus on the details. So years ago, I always knew that I wanted to be a wife and a mom. So every night I would lay down And to get all of these stressful work thoughts out of my head, everything that crept in during the day, I would literally imagine what my wedding would look like down to what my hair would look like, my dress. If it was gonna be hot or cold that day, was the sun shining? What time of day was it? I would imagine the love that I would feel and just the happiness, and I would do that until I fell asleep. After I got married, that kind of shifted to becoming a mom. And so I used to lay my head down and close my eyes and imagine what motherhood would look like for me, how it felt to hold a little baby in my arms. And right now, the, the thing that I am imagining every night when I go to bed is me on stage in front of thousands of people. Right? Because that's a big goal that I have, but I imagine what I'll be wearing. It's my green jumpsuit y'all, how my hair is gonna look, what the colors from the lights are gonna be. And I really feel the confidence that I will feel when I step on that stage. And I do that until I fall asleep. Now the extra benefits of this is, number one, helps me fall asleep. It decreases my stress, and it just makes me happier, honestly. So give it a try. But the message that I want to instill on you today is don't stop goal setting. Don't stop dreaming of a VP title. Working hard does feel good. Achieving goals also feels amazing. Just focus on the journey. Focus on the feel good moments throughout the process. And when those dark days do come and you start settling into that mundane, know that you won't be there for long. You are a goal chaser after all. There's a reason you're listening to my podcast. Right? Don't let a rival fallacy make you feel less than. You are awesome. You are amazing, and you are enough.