Erica: Hey, girl. By now, you know I have Her Collective, my online community for ambitious women who are done doing it alone. Her Collective is for the women who are smart, capable, and driven, but they find themselves stuck on the sticky floors like self doubt, burnout, and waiting for permission that quite honestly never comes. Inside HER, you get more than motivation. You get real support, real strategies, and real momentum.

Erica: We work on things like clarifying what you want now and what's coming next, building confidence without burning yourself out, navigating hard conversations, career moves, and leadership moments with clarity, and surrounding yourself with women who actually get it. This isn't about hustling harder. It's about moving intentionally with the right tools and the right people in your corner. If you're ready to stop spinning, start choosing yourself, and build a career in life that actually feels aligned, I'd love to welcome you inside her collective. You can learn more and join us at www.joinhercollective.com.

Erica: Because honestly, girl, you were never meant to do this alone. Hey, Fam Jam. Happy Monday. I wanted to take a moment and build off of my last stepping stone that was all about habits and about the becoming. And take a moment to dive in and explore the concept of habit stacking.

Erica: So I recently heard this on a different podcast and I thought that is interesting concept. I had actually not heard of habit stacking before, which really surprised me considering my background in fitness and wellness and growth. But the idea of it made sense. Well, the idea of what I thought habit stacking was made sense. So I thought habit stacking was when you do one positive habit, and then you do another, and then you do another.

Erica: So for example, you know, if you work out in the morning, then you're gonna eat a healthy breakfast, and you keep going. Right? So, conversely, if you skip working out, then you're probably like, yeah. I'm gonna eat that ice cream. So that would be negative habit stacking.

Erica: So my concept of it, I thought made sense. Right? But habit stacking is more than just that. K? So James Clear in the book, atomic habits, explains it more clearly.

Erica: It is a special form of what he calls implementation intention. Meaning that rather than you pairing your new habit with a certain time and location, for example, I will work out after lunch. It's very abstract. You know, you come up with one that is more intentional. So the exact formula is after, insert current habit here, I will insert new habit.

Erica: So for example, one that I'm using right now in my life is after my workout session, I will stretch for five minutes. Y'all, I'm terrible at stretching. Think I've said this in a few podcast already. It's something I never get to, but I'm gonna try habit stacking. So the key here is taking my desired behavior and tying it to something I'm already doing.

Erica: I've got the workout portion of it down, not so much stretching. From there, I can continue to stack habits on top of that. So the next portion of my formula might look like this. After I stretch, I will shower. So I know that's a super basic one, but I often get so busy.

Erica: I jump right into work that I skip the shower. And then it might move into after I shower, I will write my gratitude list and so on and so on and so on. Now you could do this for your entire day if you wanted to. What you are doing is taking advantage of the momentum that is coming from one positive habit or behavior and rolling it into the next. So I like to think of a tiny snowball that's rolling down the hill, gradually getting larger and larger with more and more snow until it is the size of a boulder.

Erica: Right? Think of how the Grinch stole Christmas. That's automatically where my brain goes. But you can also implement habit stacks for different situations that you might encounter throughout the day. So for example, when I park at the grocery store, I always look for the spot farthest away so I can get more steps in.

Erica: Or when I go out to eat and I know that I wanna make a healthy choice, I look at the menu ahead of time so that when I'm in the restaurant, I don't have to smell the delicious mashed potatoes and make an emotional decision. I come in prepared, and I already know what I want. So that type of habit stacking is all about when a certain thing occurs. So what is different from the basic habit to habit stacking? And to understand this, you really have to understand the science of a habit.

Erica: So a habit has four pieces. It has the cue, the craving, a response, and a reward. The cue could be something as simple as your iWatch buzzing on your wrist. The craving is then your curiosity to check that message. Was it from your husband?

Erica: Was it from your boss? You gotta know. The unknowing is killing you. So then you have the response. You grab your phone and you look to see what it is.

Erica: And then the reward is that your curiosity is satisfied. Or the cue could be as simple as walking through the front door after a long day at work. The craving is the stress relief. You want to unwind. You want to relax.

Erica: The response is to grab a glass of wine. The reward is that dopamine hit and that serotonin release from the glass of wine that makes you feel instantly relaxed. Now one of the first steps in habit change is to be aware of the cue. If you wanna quit being attached to your phone, turn off your notifications, cue stopped. Now you aren't being pulled to your phone every time you get the message or a notification because you've got it turned off.

Erica: But what about if you can't stop the cue? You've gotta come home from work every day. Right? But instead, you need to recognize the craving. So in cases like this, you're looking for the stress relief.

Erica: You are looking for how can I get that instantaneous stress relief that the wine gives me that I talked about earlier? So a great way to change this habit instead of reaching for a glass of wine is to follow these golden rules. Rules. Number one, remove the cue if possible. But if you can't remove the cue, remove the response.

Erica: In this case, probably super easy. Remove the wine from the fridge. It's gone. Right? The second rule is to make it unattractive.

Erica: Maybe the only wine in the house that you have is some hot chardonnay. Ugh. Can you say roast? The third rule is make it difficult. Even better, don't keep that wine in the house.

Erica: Right? Number four, make it unsatisfying. And, again, can you say hot chardonnay again? It's disgusting. Now on the flip side, if you wanna create a good habit, you've gotta do the opposite.

Erica: So number one, add the cue. Maybe you wanna drink more water after work. It could be as simple as setting a glass out on the counter when you walk in so you see it. Number two, you wanna make it attractive. Maybe you prepare nice flavored water ahead of time before work so it's chilled and ready when you get home.

Erica: Number three, make it easy. Again, it's in the fridge. All you gotta do is open the door and grab it. Number four, make it satisfying. So maybe take that water, sit down on the porch, kick your feet up with a good book, and just take ten minutes for you.

Erica: So I have always been fascinated by good habits and bad habits. Why people do what they do and why they don't do what they should. So for example, why do we order the chicken and waffles and we skip the salad at a restaurant when we've said time and time again, we wanna make healthier choices. As human beings, we know deep down the choice we want to make. Yep.

Erica: We choose the chicken and waffles. It all comes down to habits. Now in my last stepping stone, I talk about the importance of digging down and identifying who it is you want to be. This is one of the most critical steps. You have to be aware of those wants and desires, and you have to be drawn to the why.

Erica: Why do you wanna be a healthier person? Is it because you wanna be able to get up and down off the floor and play with your kids? Or do you wanna be able to go on a five mile hike with your partner? Maybe you're just embarrassed of being out of breath by walking up the flight of stairs. K?

Erica: Whatever it is, your awareness of the why and your attention to the cue is what can ultimately be the force of change. Motivation wears off. The best of intentions were thin and self control is limited. But when you connect to the why, when you bring awareness to the cue, you can start to put into place small changes that are super effective and habit changing. So one of my nasty habits that I'm gonna share with you is I stay up way too late swiping through social media after I put my kids to bed.

Erica: I literally can end up wasting a half an hour to an hour at night, and I tell myself, oh, I'm gonna put my phone down when I'm tired. It's a crock. K? So I've been putting some thought into it, and I've mapped it out. The cue for me is climbing into bed.

Erica: Can't change it. Right? Gotta go to sleep. The craving is relaxation and quiet time to myself, and I need that. The response right now, you guys know it.

Erica: I said it. It's the social media. And the reward is the dopamine hit after dopamine hit after dopamine hit of social media. The change. So I'm gonna make it difficult.

Erica: I've decided I'm gonna put my phone charger in the bathroom, and I'm going to make it unattractive. Because once I'm in bed, I'm damn sure not gonna get up and go unplug my phone or go replug my phone. Right? Instead, I'm going to read a fiction book. K?

Erica: And then or, you know, shoot. Maybe I'll just turn the lights off. I'm tired. I don't know. But I will not have the phone right there easy to grab to scroll for hours on end.

Erica: So I need you to hold me accountable. Shoot me a DM. Ping me. See how I'm doing. But I hope it I am hoping that this stepping stone has got your gears grinding in your brain.

Erica: What is a bad habit that you've been thinking about changes, but you haven't made the commitment to do so yet? How will you change the cue, the response? Or have you been trying to implement a good one? How are you gonna make it easy and attractive? Our brains are always searching for a way to make life easier.

Erica: It is the path of least resistance. This is what makes habits so effective, but also so freaking destructive. Your awareness to these cues and your planning to make habits easy, accessible, and attractive. With a big enough why, you will overcome anyhow. When your desire and motivation are great enough, you can tackle anyhow.

Erica: You can do difficult things. Be curious about the little things, the little cues, and the responses that seem to trigger both those good and bad habits. Now I invite you to take a pause. Take a moment. Explore what those cues and responses are for you, how you feel about them, and make a decision if they serve you or if they need to be shown to the door.

Erica: So this is your one marvelous and messy life. Don't be afraid to take marvelous and messy action. Take those habits, stack them up, and get started.