Erica: Hey, girl. By now, you know I have Her Collective, my online community for ambitious women who are done doing it alone. Her Collective is for the women who are smart, capable, and driven, but they find themselves stuck on the sticky floors like self doubt, burnout, and waiting for permission that quite honestly never comes. Inside HER, you get more than motivation. You get real support, real strategies, and real momentum.

Erica: We work on things like clarifying what you want now and what's coming next, building confidence without burning yourself out, navigating hard conversations, career moves, and leadership moments with clarity, and surrounding yourself with women who actually get it. This isn't about hustling harder. It's about moving intentionally with the right tools and the right people in your corner. If you're ready to stop spinning, start choosing yourself, and build a career in life that actually feels aligned, I'd love to welcome you inside her collective. You can learn more and join us at www.joinhercollective.com.

Erica: Because honestly, girl, you were never meant to do this alone.

Erica: Have you ever found yourself laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling at night, just totally unable to sleep wondering, is this as good as it gets? If you're an ambitious woman juggling all of the things, family, a career, and your own personal aspirations, here's the deal. It can sometimes feel like this is this never ending marathon leaving you stuck, bone tired, and unsure of what your next step should be. Y'all, I have been there. I have done that.

Erica: But today, I wanna talk about the power of coaching and how it can help you navigate the complexities of work, of life, and of everything in between. Now, I'm a firm believer that coaching is for everyone, but not necessarily all the time. It is a nice to have, and it can and will accelerate your success if you find the right coach for you. But before you make this investment, because it is an investment, let's talk about the four questions you should ask to determine if coaching is the right step for you to live this big and extraordinary life that you deserve.

Erica: So before I accept any new coaching clients, I always have what I call the clarity call with a prospective client. And I do this because I wanna make sure that number one, the person that needs coaching on an issue is an issue that I am qualified to help with. And number two, that the person is actually coachable. So I cannot tell you how many times I have seen people ask for coaching and pay for coaching, but not really want the advice, not want the mentorship and the clarity that comes with coaching. Now instead, they've wanted someone to tell them that they are indeed the person who's in the right, that they are not making the mistakes, that it is the other people.

Erica: It's not their fault that they're stuck. It's their boss. It's their partner. It's their family, whatever. I'm a tell you right now, that is not what coaching is about.

Erica: That is why coaching is so powerful because it really is about the internal control. So the number one question that you need to be totally honest with yourself about is simply, am I coachable? And I want you to think of it this way. Have you ever had a really bad day and something just really frustrated you to no end? Maybe your boss didn't respond to you the way you'd hoped you would about a new idea that you had or maybe one of your new direct reports produced a less than ideal result on a project, and you come home to vent to your spouse or your partner.

Erica: You know sometimes you just want somebody to hear you? You just want somebody to listen? You want someone to vent with? You don't necessarily want a solution to the problem, but then that partner starts asking questions and dishing out advice? Coaching is not that.

Erica: And if you are looking for a vent sesh, it is not what you need. If you are going to fork over the big bucks for one on one coaching or even group coaching, which is traditionally a little bit more cost effect cost friendly, I want you to really work to remove your own ego and ask yourself, am I coachable? Because here's what you need to know about coaching. Coaching isn't about someone else solving your problems. It's about working with you to unlock something inside of you to elevate you to the next level.

Erica: But to do that, you have to go deep into those sticky floors, deep into what is holding you back, and that work, the work of addressing your own shortcomings or areas of growth, it's hard, y'all. So here's the deal. Coaching is never, ever, ever about the other person. It isn't about your partner. It isn't about your team or your boss.

Erica: It is 100% about you because you can only control you. You can't control someone else's emotions, actions, or reactions. You can only choose your emotions, actions, and reactions. So are you coachable? Be honest with yourself.

Erica: I know the first reaction is to really say, duh, of course, I am. But the this issue, it's not about me. Girl, it's not about who the issue is. It's about the coachability factor. The more coachable you are, the better.

Erica: But if I'm real with you, being coachable takes practice because you have to be able to remove the emotion from the feedback that you get, and you need to be able to look at it objectively. But here's the good news. If you've answered, you know what? I'm not great at that, but I wanna be better, that's all you need is just that desire and that acknowledgment that, okay, I'm gonna work on being coachable. Now so often, coaching is the place for that because if you can go in and establish, like, hey, I really am not great at this, a solid coach will be able to help you work through some of those barriers and grow.

Erica: But now once you've asked yourself if you're coachable, the next question you need to ask is, am I getting what I want out of life? It is that broad and it is that simple. If you are rocking and rolling in life, getting promotions, feeling cool, calm, and collected, amazing. You might not be in in the need for a coach right now. You might be in a really solid place in your life.

Erica: And this is when coaching teeters more on the nice to have list than the must have list. Because if you're not independently wealthy and you didn't win the lottery today, a few intentionally chosen self help books with focused attention on taking action, that might get you where you need to go. But if you aren't quite getting what you want out of life, if you are not reaching your personal and professional goals, again, if you are feeling stuck, that is the right time for a coach. I am a big believer that everyone can use a good coach and a good therapist at all times, and I will share with you why with a recent story just from my own life. Now you may or may not know, but I am looking to get on more stages in 2024.

Erica: This is one of my big goals, and it's to help increase my stage present, get my message out to more people, so I'm working on my speaker reel, which is quite an investment y'all. I believe it's gonna pay off big time down the road. And when I started working on this reel, I invested in a coach. And y'all, I am a coach, so I know the investment. And when you are getting and paying for a coach, it is an investment.

Erica: But this one coach of mine, I did what a lot of people do. I hired him to help me with one specific problem area where I felt stuck. I wanted exact guidance on how to produce the perfect reel. And you know what he did? We covered that for sure.

Erica: A good coach always makes sure that you get what you need. But he also challenged me to think bigger and dream bigger. And y'all, this is what I do for a living. I challenge people to three x their current goals and to live these big and magnificent lives to stop selling themselves short. And you know what I was doing?

Erica: I was selling my own self short. Because here is the real deal, you cannot see the label when you're inside the jar. And I was in the jar. My coach, Eric, he read that label to me. And y'all, my mind was blown.

Erica: So now I wanna ask you, how does this level, this version of you feel? And that's the third question I want you to ask because for so many of us, we are constantly chasing after the next thing, the next achievement, the next accomplishment, the next promotion, the next level, and we never stop to ask ourselves, how does this feel for me? And is this what I want to feel? But let me dive into that. I chased success and achievements like it was my job, y'all.

Erica: And each win and every accomplishment, I got that dopamine hit and I got back to work on the next goal. I would only stop just ever so briefly to acknowledge my own success and wins, and then I was back to the rat race. I was at my all time career high. And on the outside, this level of success that I had achieved, married, a nice house, two kids, great spouse, all those things looked picture perfect on the outside, y'all, it was a poster child for the gram. But guess what?

Erica: I wasn't happy. In fact, I wasn't just unhappy. I was miserable. And that's why this question, how does this level of you feel, is so critical. Because if you don't really slow down and stop and feel your feelings and think about how it's going for you really, you will wake up one day and you will realize how miserable you are.

Erica: Now, I did not have a coach at this point in my career. And when I look back, I really should have. But when I asked myself, how does this version of me feel? If I had asked that earlier, I would have saved myself so much grief and so much heartache. So take a lesson.

Erica: Don't be like me. Make sure that you are stopping and taking time and asking yourself, especially if how you look on paper and how you look on Instagram is picturesque. Ask yourself, do I like the way this version of me feels? And next, I want you to ask yourself, am I reacting to my life or am I shaping my life? And this question is a game changer because life moves fast.

Erica: If y'all have kids, if you're a parent, you know how fast life moves. And sometimes when things get out of balance and they get out of whack, you end up living a life where you are reacting to everything around you rather than celebrating everything around you. Now you don't have to live a

Erica: life with intention and purpose.

Erica: You really don't. You could live a life where you do nothing but react to the world around you. But doesn't creating the life you want to live sound so much more fabulous? Now, I don't wanna turn this into a doom and gloom podcast, but y'all, we don't get any second chances in this life. This is our one life and it's what we have to live and you've gotta create the life you want.

Erica: You do have the power to do that, and a really good coach can help you cultivate that life. Be the captain of your own dang ship. That's the message right there. Now, I'm sure you've heard and read about all the studies that have been conducted on people who are older in life, and they talk talk about regrets. And it's been found and shown time and time again that people do not have regrets about the things they did, but rather about the things they did not do.

Erica: So my question is, are you doing the things you want to do? And if not, why not? So often, we do not do the things we want to do because we don't think society will approve. We don't think our parents will approve or our partner or our team, our boss, whoever. So you don't do the thing that's burning inside your heart that you feel called to do.

Erica: You don't go chasing after that big and scary dream. You just keep your head down. You go about your day. You do what you think you should be doing, and that day turns into three hundred and sixty four more days, which is then a year, and the time passes. That is a fact.

Erica: That is a fact y'all that no one can deny. Think about Jeff Bezos. Okay? He had a great job with benefits. This is pre Amazon, married, kids, living his life, doing his thing, and according to society, was checking all the boxes.

Erica: If he did not go out there and actively seek out his dream, y'all we would have no Amazon. There would be no one click. Can you imagine? For real though, Jeff could have lived out his life and no one would have been the wiser. But as he said in an interview one time, he knew that if he didn't at least try out this Internet thing, he would regret it.

Erica: He knew that he could always come back and find a job if he needed to, but he wanted to take a stab at it. And aren't you glad he did? I know I am. Amazon changed my life. But my point here is he stopped reacting to his life, and he started shaping it.

Erica: So the questions you have to ask if you're thinking about a coach is number one, am I coachable? Number two, am I getting what I want out of life? Number three, how does this level, this version of me feel? And number four, am I reacting or actively shaping my life? Now, those are hands down the best questions that you can ever ask yourself if you're thinking about working with a coach.

Erica: And I'm a huge proponent of coaching. Obviously, I am one. But I just want to leave you with this. We can all use coaching throughout our lives. Some people have them for years.

Erica: Some people have them for seasons. But it is a game changer when you find someone that that can help elevate you to the next level. And remember, you cannot see the label when you're in the jar. I resisted coaching for so long because I thought this is what I do for a living. I don't need anybody to tell me how to do this.

Erica: But that was not true, not even for me. Sometimes you just need that person to help you see what you cannot see, to help you dream bigger and think grander. So if you've been on the fence, I'm here to tell you that this is your nudge to go get out there and find yourself a coach. Find one that you really jive with, take a few calls. Whatever you do, don't put it off because, y'all, the time is going to pass anyways and you are going to be so glad that you did this for yourself.

Erica: You are going to be so thrilled because you will start getting what you want out of life. You will start loving how this level of you, this version of you feels. You will be living in congruent with with yourself and you will be actively shaping your life. Alright, friend. Thank you so much for joining me today.

Erica: If you recognized yourself in any of these stories or if you felt yourself nodding along, what are you waiting for? Take that first step. Reach out for coaching. You could work with me. I can refer you to one of my many fabulous coaches in my network.

Erica: But coaching or group coaching is what can help you move from stuck to shattering ceilings. Now, if now's not the time, that's okay too. Just bookmark this episode for when you might need it. Otherwise, it is time to stop putting a ceiling on what is possible, and it's time to start breaking through them.