Erica: Hey, girl. By now, you know I have Her Collective, my online community for ambitious women who are done doing it alone. Her Collective is for the women who are smart, capable, and driven, but they find themselves stuck on the sticky floors like self doubt, burnout, and waiting for permission that quite honestly never comes. Inside HER, you get more than motivation. You get real support, real strategies, and real momentum.

Erica: We work on things like clarifying what you want now and what's coming next, building confidence without burning yourself out, navigating hard conversations, career moves, and leadership moments with clarity, and surrounding yourself with women who actually get it. This isn't about hustling harder. It's about moving intentionally with the right tools and the right people in your corner. If you're ready to stop spinning, start choosing yourself, and build a career in life that actually feels aligned, I'd love to welcome you inside her collective. You can learn more and join us at www.joinhercollective.com.

Erica: Because honestly, girl, you were never meant to do this alone.

Erica: Are you sober curious? Straight up sober? Good for you. Me too. So this is going to be my second year of the holidays as a sober person.

Erica: And And I remember how how should I say this? How weird those first few holidays were when I stopped drinking. Not bad, just different. I have spent my whole adult adult life drinking at every holiday and every celebration. So going alcohol free made the holidays a whole new and different experience.

Erica: If you are thinking that you want to reevaluate your relationship with alcohol this holiday season, I say, hell yeah. And I wanna make it as easy as possible for you to navigate those office parties and holiday parties. I'll share with you my tips and the tips others have shared with me when they were first on their alcohol free journey. The point here is to always take what works for you and leave the rest, and that is especially true of this episode. So I hope you enjoy it.

Erica: I hope it helps, and let's jump on in. So this is a topic that for many people, it's super challenging, and it might be one that you really just downright ignore. And that is the sober life, and in particular, the sober life during the holiday season. Now as a previous both boots on the ground drinker turned alcohol free sober executive, I know that all of these parties can be super uncomfortable and very intimidating.

Erica: I spent a lot of time worrying about what I would say, how I would act, act, would I pretend I'm drinking, or do I just not go? All of those thoughts. And you might be worried that others are watching you or that you're sticking out and you just don't belong. And, honestly, for me in a lot of those events, I felt like an outsider. But I wanna tell you something.

Erica: And what I wanna tell you is that it's absolutely okay. In fact, it's more than okay. It's empowering. And it's a choice, and you are making it for your health and for your well-being. So I wanna start, number one, with the decision.

Erica: And this is the decision to not drink and go alcohol free at any party or holiday gathering. That decision is a powerful one. It's a commitment that you are making to yourself about your choices and your values, and this is 100% about you and 100% not about anyone else. But going alcohol free, it isn't always an easy choice, and that's because of the stigma around it. I mean, if people see you not drinking, they assume you're pregnant or you have a problem.

Erica: And you know what? Maybe that's true. Maybe you are pregnant. Maybe you did have a problem. Maybe it's not true.

Erica: But the fact of the matter is it really doesn't fucking matter what they think. First of all, it's no one's business. Second of all, this is your choice and your choice alone. I mean, I get it. I get the stigma piece of it.

Erica: You don't want people to think you have a problem. I get it. I didn't want people to know that on some days, I could have two glasses of wine and stop. And on other days, there was no stopping. It felt just very heavy with shame.

Erica: And I just wanted to bring that up and say it because I don't want you to feel ashamed. If you were someone that was like me, you got addicted to an addictive substance. Alcohol did its job of making you want more and more. It was not your fault. Like, this is basic science, people.

Erica: But second of all, I want you to know that it's okay to be different. And I want you to take that and make it your superpower because not drinking is a superpower. You are choosing to live a life that is good for you and for your well-being and for your family, and you are out there and you are doing it. So two snaps for that. So now that I've got all that out there, got it out of my skin, let's talk about the actual tips because this is what helped me through that first year of the holidays, and it is what has me super pumped for this year's festivities.

Erica: First up, be prepared. I never go anywhere without something to drink. A bubbly water, some mocktails, a big jug of water. I always have something. If it's not alcoholic and it tastes good, even better.

Erica: And you always need to be prepared because let me tell you this story. I went on a boat ride not too long ago with people who just the day before I told them I didn't drink. And then we got on the boat ride, and they only had alcohol on the boat. So step one, always be prepared. Be prepared not only just with something to drink, but be prepared with what you want to say.

Erica: And what do I mean by that? I mean, what is your response when someone says, hey. Can I get you a glass of red wine or white wine? Is it no. Thanks.

Erica: I'm all set or I'm not drinking tonight? Like, just be prepared with an answer so that you don't feel caught off guard and just blurt out like, why? Because they gave you a choice. I want you to think it through and have a game plan really on any question that gives you stress when you think about it right now. So for example, if someone asks, you know, why aren't you drinking?

Erica: What are you gonna say to that? What is your answer that you have planned out? The more you think through that, the more empowered you will feel to go to the party and the less stress those types of questions will give you because you know you have an answer. Now the second tip that I have is communicate your decision. If it's helpful for you, only if it's helpful, tell a trusted friend or colleague that you're not drinking.

Erica: Say whatever you need to say to make it work. So for example, say, I'm not drinking tonight because I'm training for a race. Maybe that's helpful. Maybe it's a bold faced lie and you are not training for a race, but it gets you through the night. And if it gets you through, it gets you through, and that's what matters.

Erica: I talk about accountability partners all the time on so many of these different episodes for goals and for work. Guess what? Accountability partners are good for staying alcohol free. Now it also might be helpful to assign your friend, partner, colleague the job of being the person to go get your drinks. So if you're not comfortable ordering something that's not alcoholic, you don't wanna ask about it, you don't wanna draw attention to yourself, maybe you just don't wanna walk up to a bar.

Erica: Let that other person help you out. Like, trust me. I love it when my husband just brings me back something yummy and delicious and without alcohol. It it's just great. And then I also want you to remember to own your decision because you don't owe anyone an explanation.

Erica: Buy yourself, like a bracelet or a ring, maybe a necklace, something that you can look at as a visual reminder of your decision. That is something that really helped me, and I did that before I went to a bachelor party. I wore a bracelet. I actually found it at the airport that said everything is unfolding exactly as it should. And that entire weekend, I would see that bracelet.

Erica: It would just ground me, and it would really make me feel secure in my decision. Now I'd also like to share what my therapist told me that has always helped me, and that was not everybody deserves your story. And she would also say that I get to decide who gets to hear my story and how much I wanna share. I don't want you thinking that you have to explain your entire life if you've made the decision to go alcohol free for one night or for all of the nights. If you want to explain your choices, cool.

Erica: Do that. Just know it's not a requirement of being alcohol free. You get to share what you want, when you want, and with who you want. Y'all, those parties, they can be wildly intimidating, especially if you haven't come out as an alcohol free person or no one knows that you're sober curious. Trust me.

Erica: I've been there. I've done that. And that's why I just wanted to share this episode with you. So if you are on the sober ride with me, hey, friend. I see you.

Erica: I'm so glad you're with me. And if you're not on that ride, I'm also still so glad that you're here. And remember, if you're someone who does drink, don't assume that everybody drinks. Right? If you notice someone not drinking, don't make a scene.

Erica: Be cool. Okay? Just be cool. Alright, y'all. That's enough.

Erica: I will see you next time, and happy Thanksgiving. And, hey, I'm so grateful for you.