Erica: Hey, girl. By now, you know I have Her Collective, my online community for ambitious women who are done doing it alone. Her Collective is for the women who are smart, capable, and driven, but they find themselves stuck on the sticky floors like self doubt, burnout, and waiting for permission that quite honestly never comes. Inside HER, you get more than motivation. You get real support, real strategies, and real momentum.

Erica: We work on things like clarifying what you want now and what's coming next, building confidence without burning yourself out, navigating hard conversations, career moves, and leadership moments with clarity, and surrounding yourself with women who actually get it. This isn't about hustling harder. It's about moving intentionally with the right tools and the right people in your corner. If you're ready to stop spinning, start choosing yourself, and build a career in life that actually feels aligned, I'd love to welcome you inside her collective. You can learn more and join us at www.joinhercollective.com.

Erica: Because honestly, girl, you were never meant to do this alone. Success by definition in the Oxford dictionary is the accomplishment of an aim or a purpose. Y'all, if you had asked me at 10 years old, my definition of success would have been a new JanSport backpack, some Lisa Frank notebooks, and convincing my parents to let me have a sleepover with three of my girlfriends on a Friday night. If you'd ask me a 20, my definition of success would have been graduating college, landing that dream job, and getting a solid paycheck. And if you'd ask me a 30, my definition of success would have been a great marriage, 2.5 kids, the dog, the white picket fence, and that unrealistic picture perfect family that we saw on TV.

Erica: It would have been promotions. It would have been raises, nice cars, and vacations. Now my point in sharing this is that our idea of success changes over time. It's only natural. But with success as a moving target, I found myself wondering, when I get to the end of my life, how will I know that I've made it?

Erica: I don't wanna show up at the end of my life tired and sweaty and chasing success. I want to be successful. I want to live successfully now. Now the one thing that I have learned is that time is short and tomorrow is never promised. I got the Lisa Frank notebooks.

Erica: Y'all, I graduated from college and I got the paychecks. I'm married. I have two kids and a dog. I live in a nice house, and I've had the promotions and the raises. I went from driving a hooptie car that only blew out hot air in the summer, making you sweat to the seat to driving a three row SUV with seats that are both heated and cooled.

Erica: So bypassed, like, my definition of success, I've made it. Right? Our ideas of success are determined by so many factors.

Erica: Certainly what industry you're in, what job you have. Right? If you're a lawyer, did you make partner? If you're in tech, are you working for one of the top companies like Google, Meta, or Apple? If you're an influencer, how many social media followers do you have?

Erica: Success is also determined by gender. For men, typical gender success goal posts look like this. Muscular bodies, six pack abs, a slick business suit, handsome fast car, and high paying job. For women, it's a thin body, big boobs, and being an amazing mom. But what does it even mean to be a good mom?

Erica: You know, for some people, that might mean staying home, being there every day after school to do homework and volunteering at the PTA and being that classroom mom. You know? Just in case you're wondering, like, that ain't me. For others, it may be modeling for your kids that you can be a badass in the boardroom and at home. It may be for single parents being successful is keeping food on the table, juggling kid activities, and homework solo.

Erica: Right? Major props to all those single parents. I don't know how you do it. But back to the question, how will you know you've made it? So often, we are burning and churning in life that we fail to realize that we have reached so many of our internal versions of success.

Erica: Do you ever stop to think like, yes. I got that Lisa Frank notebook. I have arrived. Heck no. You don't.

Erica: You know, you start looking for the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. Why? Because we compare. It's human nature. Y'all once I got that Lisa Frank notebook, I saw that preppy Pam next to me had the next best thing.

Erica: And in our world of consumerism and comparison, we are always looking for the next best thing. This makes the goal of making it totally unattainable because there is always someone out there who is better, faster, smarter, stronger, or richer than you. Always. So how do we know we've made it? When I think of success, one of the first things that comes to my head, honestly, is money.

Erica: Now growing up, I lived in a paycheck to paycheck kind of household. I didn't have to worry if I would have food to eat or roof over my head, but budgeting was also a big part of our life. I never thought that we had enough money, you know, to be rich. Right? Rich people were the people who had two fridges, fridge in their house and a fridge in their garage.

Erica: Money seemed to be more of a scarcity than something we always had a lot of. And you know what makes me laugh about people? Like, no one wants to actually say money. They think it makes them appear greedy or driven by material things, but guess what? That's okay.

Erica: Financial security is a luxury, and it's a goal. And money does make the world go around y'all. Now I remember the first vision board that I created when I had my first job out of college. I had the amount of $80,000 cut out and pasted to that board. And I thought that if I could just get to 80,000, I would have made it.

Erica: But once I hit that target y'all, it moved farther away. That 80,000 was checked on. What was next? It wasn't a milliseconds before I was looking to the next goal, and I set my sight on six figures. So that, again, the how will I know I've made it targets moved.

Erica: It was only when I got very specific on my target, my goal, that I gained clarity about when I would have made it. And it was more than just a number. It was a feeling. My made it target expanded. I would know that I had made it when I didn't have to look in my checking account before going to the grocery stores to see how much I could afford.

Erica: I would know I'd made it when I could invest in my own personal development without worrying about if I'd be able to pay my rent. I would know that I had made it when I could travel to really cool places like get on a plane, go overseas, and to the wild and exotic places that are only in fancy travel magazines. And I would know that I've made it when I could take my parents out to eat instead of them taking me out. Now those are my definitions of success when it comes to money. It's more than just a number.

Erica: It's that everyday living and feeling that I have about the money that I earn. Now that number can change any day. But as long as I feel a certain way, I've made it financially. You see, when you know your goals, your targets, and your feelings about making it, about success, you can actually stop and celebrate. Y'all, I celebrate every time I go to the grocery store, and I don't have to check my bank account to see if a check is gonna bounce.

Erica: I do a little happy dance every time I get to travel or every time I invest in my personal development. And my heart honestly just swells anytime that I can treat my parents to dinner. I've made it. Now making it is also about being the kind of person you want to be. No one gets to the end of their life to be a boring and sad and curmudgeon y person.

Erica: So you need to get clear on this. What kind of legacy do you wanna leave? What does that look like in your life? Do you wanna be a kind person? A good mom?

Erica: That can be measured in all sorts of ways. So how do you know? How do you personally define that? Are you living that way now? Well, let's let's find out.

Erica: I want you to do this exercise because this is gonna make it real for you. I want you to ask five people in your life that you work with, live with, interact with on a daily basis. What are three words they would use to describe you? Is it kind? Is it a good mom?

Erica: Happy, authentic, empathetic? Or would they say workaholic? Angry, negative, tired, curmudgeon y. Next, I want you to think of a few words that you want people to use when describing you. Maybe it's motivating, inspirational, authentic.

Erica: Now, if those words match up, you did it. You made it. Give yourself a freaking high five. You are living the type of life you want to live and you are being the kind of person you want to be. Now, if not, I've got good news for you.

Erica: You get to choose the kind of person you want to be. It's as simple as that. Michelle Obama said it first. If you wanna be an honest person, be an honest person. If you want to be positive, start looking for the good things.

Erica: Start practicing gratitude. Start focusing on what brings you joy. If you want to be a giving person, start giving your time, your resources, your energy. Now I wanna be the person that is known for her courage. I wanna be remembered for my courage.

Erica: And when I think back to my definition of success when I was 10, 20, and 30, I did make it by all accounts according to the standards I've set then. But now my definition of success is more about who I am and how I want to live. Every day that I do the courageous thing, I'm hitting that mark. I still measure my success in other ways. Finances, health, happiness, and passport stamps, y'all.

Erica: But my overall made it mark is about courage. So let me ask you. How will you know that you've made it? Have you? Or do you already have some work to do?

Erica: Yeah. Life is a journey that is compiled of many made it moments when you're living life in congruence with a person that you want to be. If you aren't so sure, go out and find those people and ask them to describe you. Think about the person you want to be. Remember, you get to choose who that person is.

Erica: You get to choose what success looks like. This is your messy and beautiful life, and success is defined on your terms and your terms alone. You must be fearless in the pursuit of what you want to achieve and who you want to be. And in the words of George Eliot, it's never too late to be who you might have been. Thanks for listening, guys.

Erica: I would love for you to do me a favor by rate, reviewing, and subscribing to the podcast as it truly helps the podcast reach the woman that needs to hear it most. See you next time.