Erica: Hey, girl. By now, you know I have Her Collective, my online community for ambitious women who are done doing it alone. Her Collective is for the women who are smart, capable, and driven, but they find themselves stuck on the sticky floors like self doubt, burnout, and waiting for permission that quite honestly never comes. Inside HER, you get more than motivation. You get real support, real strategies, and real momentum.

Erica: We work on things like clarifying what you want now and what's coming next, building confidence without burning yourself out, navigating hard conversations, career moves, and leadership moments with clarity, and surrounding yourself with women who actually get it. This isn't about hustling harder. It's about moving intentionally with the right tools and the right people in your corner. If you're ready to stop spinning, start choosing yourself, and build a career in life that actually feels aligned, I'd love to welcome you inside her collective. You can learn more and join us at www.joinhercollective.com.

Erica: Because honestly, girl, you were never meant to do this alone. Y'all, I am not gonna lie. Last week was a really tough week. I don't know what is going on or what's in the water, but work had been horrific, the kids had been acting up, my communication with my husband, all a dumpster fire. And I found myself resenting, honestly, everything.

Erica: I was really resenting everything. Every email, every whiny kid, every tone, you know, that Dan was responding to me with. And you know what I mean. That tone your partner gives you when they're also annoyed with you because let's face it, you're probably being a little bitchy. But I just found myself getting over the top mad.

Erica: Now, I don't know about you, but when I get into these moods, I just wanna go away. I wanna be all by myself with a bubble bath and a book. I wanna eat what I want. I wanna do what I want. And I want to not have to care about anyone else around me.

Erica: I don't want anyone to talk to me. I don't want anyone to even look at me. Just leave me alone. But here's the thing. I'm an HR executive.

Erica: I'm a wife. I'm a mom. I got not just responsibilities, but I got goals. So today's episode, I'm hoping it will be a guide for anyone listening. If you're in those moments and you're in those days where I was last week where it was like I just don't wanna do anything type of days.

Erica: I wanna pull the covers over my head and pretend like the world and my problems and the dumpstifyas just don't exist. Now it's probably not going to be what you think it's gonna be. I'm not gonna start by being all positive poly on you and spew out some toxic positivity b s, but I am going to share with you the steps that you must take to help you get through all the b s, to help you get through all the tough times. Because those tough times will come for you, and this is what you're gonna wanna do to make sure that you don't get sucked so far down that you can't be the mom, the partner, or the friend, the sister, the daughter, the woman, the leader that you wanna be. Okay.

Erica: So I've already told you that last week was a total bust. Like, from day one, I knew the week was going to be terrible. And when I tell you that it played out that way, it played out that way. I must have cried at least four times. I cry out of frustration.

Erica: I cry out of resentment. I I am one of those angry criers even, and I found myself hitting the snooze button multiple times a morning, which is not how I roll. I am usually that person that is up well before my alarm. But I would lie there, and I would feel like I just had the weight of a million weighted blankets holding me down. Everything I had to get done this week, it just felt impossible.

Erica: Now does that sound familiar? I am sure it does. I know that you have been right there with me at some point. You know when everything you love doing feels like a drag, when you turn down the dinners with your friends due to exhaustion, and you just wanna curl up in bed, I want you to know that number one, this is not you being lazy. This is you having a human moment, and it is way more common than you think.

Erica: These really crappy moments, these hard days, these hard weeks or even months, they suck. They really do. And if anyone has ever told you that you just need to get motivated or find, you know, find the motivation, find the bright spot, I know you wanna punch them in the face. I know I wanna punch them in the face. Because these human moments, they're not about motivation.

Erica: It's about riding the highs and the lows of life. So I'm gonna tell you, I have these steps I'm gonna share that you need to take that are going to empower you to move through these human moments so that you can find your drive again, so that you don't lose any momentum that you might already be have. But before we do, I wanna just say if this is true depression we're talking about, a mental health issue, I'm going to need you to make an appointment with your doctor. Don't tell them it's not a big deal. You can come in in the next month.

Erica: Nope. Nope. Nope. Tell them what you are experiencing and that you need to be seen ASAP. Then I want you to get your phone out, download one of the many virtual online therapy apps that exist today, and get you a therapist.

Erica: I have said it once. I'll say it again. Everyone needs a good therapist. But if you're like me in this moment where it's not depression, it's just like all the motivation was sucked right out of you and everyone around you is annoying you. I gotcha.

Erica: This is exactly what I did, and it's what I'll do the next time this low, this human moment shows up in my life. First, I want you to dissect the problem. What's really going on? Is it work life is seeping too much into your home life? Is it the overcommitted on your schedule and you're just exhausted because you're running from meeting to meeting to meeting without even stopping to go to the bathroom?

Erica: What about not getting enough sleep? Or maybe it's all of those things. That is certainly how my last week fell. Now for me, it was just this perfect storm of everything being off kilter. It was the kids' first week back at school, and I did overcommit my time by circling back with everyone who wanted to circle back with me over the holidays.

Erica: Yeah. Please no more circling back. I've had enough. But when you dissect what is really going on, you need to take stock of your circumstances. You need to ask yourself, what is going on right now, this week, this day that is stressing me out and why?

Erica: Really look at it. Is it a systemic problem, one that has kind of been building and going on forever? Or is it one that just popped up overnight? I want you to really give yourself the space to think about it. Now you know that I'm gonna say go get your journal, go get a pen, write it out, but also call somebody that you know, that you love, that you trust, and talk about it.

Erica: It's so easy to wanna shove these feelings under the rug and pretend that you aren't feeling this lack of motivation, this bleh, this blah. And that is exactly when you need to reach out to someone the most. When you can talk to somebody about how you're feeling, it just becomes this huge relief to your system. So just take a moment, get it all out there. And this piece leads me to the next chunk I wanna talk about which might sting a bit but I want you to ask yourself, what did you do to exacerbate the problem?

Erica: How did you make the problem worse? Now for me, I didn't go to bed early enough. I overscheduled my calendar, and I was not walking away from my kid when they were driving me bonkers. So I yelled at them, which was, you know, not the proud mama moment, but I'm just keeping it real for y'all. Now if you sit there and you say, Erica, I don't have any responsibility.

Erica: I have no blame in this situation. Like, it's my boss. It's my kids. It's my husband. It's my partner.

Erica: Whatever. I'm gonna tell you that you probably need to go back. You need to hit up that journal, and you need to try again. Because here is why you want it to be your fault. Because if it's your fault, you can do something to fix it.

Erica: If it's out of your control, you're not going to be able to do anything about it. K? I don't know about you, but I want stuff to be within my control so that the next time around, I can do something differently. I can fix it. Now the next step is just dealing with these symptoms.

Erica: And those symptoms, they could be your emotions, maybe you need to deal with your sadness, your anger, your frustrations, but it could also be dealing with physical symptoms like exhaustion, like eating crappy foods or drinking too much wine. Now, if you don't deal with your symptoms, what's gonna happen is you're going to run yourself into the ground. Trust me on this one. You need to face these symptoms head on. They're not gonna get better by themselves.

Erica: Now notice that I'm not telling you that you need to fix the symptoms, but I do want you to treat your symptoms. Now you're probably saying how the hell do I do that, Erica? I know. I get it. But you do that by listening to your body, and you do that by listening to your mind.

Erica: So let's start with feelings. If you are sad and you need some time to grieve because you didn't get the job you wanted, you can sit in your sweats and cry over the dove dark chocolate bites. It's okay. Allow yourself that space to move through your human moment. But now do it with a lens of intention.

Erica: You're not just wallowing around the house and you don't know why, saying everything's happening to me. Now you're walking around, and you know what? It's okay. You're wallowing still. You're frumpy.

Erica: You're sad, but you know why. Because you've identified what is really going on. But here's the twist. I want you to give yourself a time frame to let these feelings just be out there. Give yourself a day, a week, whatever it takes, and say, you know what?

Erica: I really wanted that job, and I'm really sad about it. And I'm gonna take my alone time tonight. I'm gonna be sad. I'm gonna eat my favorite pasta dish, but tomorrow is a new day. And here's why this works, because deep down, you know a new day brings new beginnings.

Erica: You know there is light at the end of the tunnel. You know that these feelings of anger and sadness and frustration, they're not a way of life. Doing this actually builds your resilience and it builds your trust in yourself because you are showing yourself that you can get up and you can put your big girl pants on and you can overcome these things. This is really a good thing, y'all. Now if you're dealing with the physical symptoms, you need to address that ASAP.

Erica: If you aren't fueling your body with nutrient dense foods and it's making you feel like a fat greasy sloth, start eating right. If you're experiencing exhaustion, get some rest. Set up your bedroom sanctuary and leave your phone in the kitchen and just enjoy the quiet. Leave the laundry. Leave the bathrooms.

Erica: Leave the grocery shopping and shopping until later. Those things are not urgent, and they are not important. And trust me, it can wait. Sometimes you really need to slow down before you speed up. Now I'm gonna say that again.

Erica: Sometimes you really need to slow down to speed up. Let that sink in. But once you've done that, once you've addressed the symptoms, I've got one step left for you. Do something. It's that easy and it's that hard, but I want you to do something.

Erica: Do anything. Do anything that makes you smile and is going to take you closer to your goals. Yep. I pulled that goal thing back up in here. You knew I had to do it.

Erica: I know that you can find that magic combo out there of something that makes you smile and something that's gonna move you closer to your goals. For me, I made sure that even though last week, every day that I was mad as hell, I rode my Peloton for at least fifteen minutes. I didn't push myself too hard, but I got dressed and I got on the bike because that sweat, it released endorphins, and it helped me feel accomplished even when shit was hitting the fan left and right nonstop. Now that one checks the smile bucket because, let me be real, who doesn't love riding with Cody Rigsby? And if you know, you know.

Erica: And number two, my ongoing life goal is one of health and wellness. So when I got on that bike every day, that bike that goes nowhere, I was able to laugh, I was able to smile, but I was also able to stay a little bit consistent. Just that small little accomplishment every day helped me move forward. It lifted one of those weighted blankets off of me every time and it kept my week from being a total wash, a total disaster zone. So the next time that you are stuck in that I don't wanna do anything mode, I want you to remember these steps.

Erica: Dissect the problem, what's really going on? Diagnose your symptoms, is it exhaustion? Is it sadness? Treat those symptoms and then do one small tiny thing that makes you smile and takes you one step closer to your goals. Now I wanna be clear on that last one too.

Erica: It really is a small thing. If one of your life goals is to enjoy your family time and be present with your kids, then just play a five minute card game with them. Do something. But that little act, it's gonna change your outcomes infinitely. Now you're not alone in this y'all.

Erica: We all have these days. We all have these weeks. I know this and knowing that is what helped get me through my really shitty last week. But guess what? We've talked about the fresh start effect and that's the effect that humans all experience when a new week hits, a new year hits, it's your birthday so that's a new year for you.

Erica: You get the picture but here's the secret. Here's what I'm gonna leave you with today. Each day can be a fresh start. Each moment can be a fresh start. We can all have these any minute we want.

Erica: So thanks for listening, and I want you to remember each day is a new chance for you to turn it around. Now if you found value in this episode, share it with someone you know that may need a little nudge of encouragement. We all do. 2024 kicked off with a bang, but your support truly does make the difference. If you are looking for more inspiration, don't forget to subscribe and follow the show.

Erica: I drop two episodes a week. And until next time, my friends, I want you to stop putting a ceiling on what is possible and start breaking through it.