Erica: Hey, girl. By now, you know I have Her Collective, my online community for ambitious women who are done doing it alone. Her Collective is for the women who are smart, capable, and driven, but they find themselves stuck on the sticky floors like self doubt, burnout, and waiting for permission that quite honestly never comes. Inside HER, you get more than motivation. You get real support, real strategies, and real momentum.

Erica: We work on things like clarifying what you want now and what's coming next, building confidence without burning yourself out, navigating hard conversations, career moves, and leadership moments with clarity, and surrounding yourself with women who actually get it. This isn't about hustling harder. It's about moving intentionally with the right tools and the right people in your corner. If you're ready to stop spinning, start choosing yourself, and build a career in life that actually feels aligned, I'd love to welcome you inside her collective. You can learn more and join us at www.joinhercollective.com.

Erica: Because honestly, girl, you were never meant to do this alone. Are you doggone tired? No. Seriously, are you suffocating under the weight of your to do list? And let's talk about those to do lists.

Erica: How many are there? Do you have one for your personal, your kids, your dog, your partner, your job, your church, or maybe another group that you might be a part of? Does it feel exasperating when you end up moving items from one to do list to another? Now I know how that can feel, and you know what I really hope about how you feel. I really hope that you feel tired of feeling that way.

Erica: Because once you are fed up with something, you recognize that there must be a better way, and you can become committed to changing that. Because you are made for more than just a to do list filled with never ending tasks, tasks. You are worthy of more. Now I found that when we get stuck in chasing all the things that we have to do as a wife, a mom, and a professional, that we barely have any time for ourselves. And it wasn't until I was suffocating under the weight of unrealistic expectations of the shoulds, of what I thought I had to do to have it all, that I realized this is total crap, and I found a way to change.

Erica: Now today, I'm going to share with you how we can redefine success on our own terms, break free from the comparison trap, and live a life in alignment. Doesn't that sound nice? You are listening to the Glass Ceiling and Sticky Floor podcast, the podcast that will empower you to shatter limiting beliefs and toxic behaviors to uncover infinite possibilities so you can live your best life. I'm Erica Rooney, and I'm on a mission to bring more women into positions of power and keep them there. I'm obsessed with all things growth and abundance, and I'm here to talk you through the tried and true secrets to get you to level up your career and your life.

Erica: We talk about the hard stuff here, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, fear, and burnout. So pull up a seat, pop in an earbud, and let's dive in. Okay. Listen up. We are living in a generation where we, as women, have a lot more freedom than ever before.

Erica: It's sad, but it's true. If you go back just one generation, career options were limited. Board meetings were held in clubs. Women had to dress in skirts and pantyhose if they worked. And let's face it, they were meant to stay home with the kids and cook a good meal.

Erica: The dream life was to be a stay at home mom, and women were supposed to be thrilled, thrilled with serving their kids and their husbands. Now thankfully that has changed and women fought hard for their right to vote and to be treated equally. Alright. Alright. We are still fighting that good fight But our mothers and our grandmothers told us that we could have it all, the family and the career.

Erica: How lucky were we? And I wanna be clear, they weren't wrong. I am so grateful for the women before me that laid the groundwork so that I could show up and follow my dreams. But here is where we stop short. We did not adjust our definition of it all or how it all was achieved.

Erica: So instead of stopping for a moment saying, hey, I work outside the home home, and, honey, you do too. Why don't we split the responsibilities? We just took on more and more and more and more and more because, well, we're super women. We didn't want others to think that we couldn't have it all and do it all. But the truth is we can't have it all in the traditional sense.

Erica: It's impossible to be that mom who stays home all day, keeps a sparkly clean house, has fresh baked cookies at the end of the day after volunteering at at the school, and be a badass executive. There just isn't enough hours or energy in the day for one person to do all of that. There is this social narrative that is exacerbated by social media, if you ask me, of the perfect family life, the perfect marriage, and this continued career success. And I'm not saying that you can't have it all. I'm really not because I don't believe that.

Erica: I believe that you can have it all. I believe I have it all, but I believe that you have to redefine what it all means to you, and you have to do it on a consistent basis to be successful, happy, and fulfilled. If you don't, you end up burnt out, strung out, and hung out to dry y'all. Now I will never forget the pivotal moment where this really smacked me in the face, and it was almost two years ago to the day. My daughter was turning four and we were having a family party.

Erica: I had spent hours putting everything together. The decorations, the party bags. I was ordering the food, having the perfect cake, making sure it all looked perfect and everything ready to go for her little friends and our family. And the piece de resistance, I had this huge unicorn balloon that was two times the size of my daughter, and she loved it. It was magnificent.

Erica: Now somehow, I had managed to pull it all off while having a full time job. Everything was set up ready to go, and I had about an hour to do the finishing touches when I heard y'all what sounded like a gun going off in my mudroom. You guessed it. The balloon popped and then chaos ensued. Tears, screaming, crying.

Erica: Okay. Now a normal person would say, it's a balloon. No big deal. They dry the tears on their kid and distract them with some other shiny object on their birthday party day. But what did I do?

Erica: Well, I had to have the perfect party y'all, which meant I had to have the perfect decorations, which meant this goddamn unicorn balloon was gonna be at the party. So I loaded up my four year old and with one hour left, I drove twenty minutes to the balloon store. And y'all, it was a Saturday and that balloon store was busy. So I ended up waiting and waiting and waiting. And my anxiety grew and it grew and it grew as the minutes ticked by.

Erica: And I started mentally recalibrating everything I'd have to do and everything I needed to do before everyone got there, and how could I accommodate everything in now a shorter amount of time. And as the clock ticked on, I started to sweat, and I started to pace, and I started to get really anxious and nervous. And finally, twenty minutes later, balloon in hand, shoving it into the SUV, I sped home flying over the speed limit to unload this stupid balloon so that the party could be a success. Y'all, I know this is ridiculous. I know.

Erica: But it is the perfect example of when we let ourselves get carried away with what success looks like. Now here we are two years later, later, and do you think she remembers that balloon? Heck, no. She does not. But I remember the joy that I robbed myself of the day of that party because I just had to have that damn balloon.

Erica: Now here's where I got stuck. And looking back, this is super easy to analyze, of course, but in the moment, very, very challenging and totally worth sharing. I was stuck on the unrealistic expectation of what a successful party would look like. Yes. I was also stuck in perfectionism, but my definition of a successful party was hinging on this unicorn balloon.

Erica: And y'all success is subjective. I promise you, everyone else at that party thought the party was a success. It was only me that was concerned about that balloon. And because success is subjective, it can be redefined. So how do we redefine success when we have been conditioned for decades that it has to be this traditional idea of having it all?

Erica: All? Well, I'm a tell you. That starts with defining what it all means to you. To me, it all means I'm happy. It doesn't mean I make a certain salary or that I drive the best car.

Erica: It means that when I lay my head on my pillow at night, I feel good about myself, about the decisions that I made that day and about how I showed up at work and for my family and my kids. Success means that I'm living in alignment with my core values, growth, health and wellness, encourage. And if at the end of the day, I've done something to grow my mind, it's a success. If I've done something to move my body and fuel it with the nutrients it needs to thrive, it's a success. And if I've done something that took courage for me to do, like stepping outside of my comfort zone, you guessed it, it's a success.

Erica: That's it. That is my definition of success, my definition of it all. Here's what having it all does not mean for me. It does not mean an empty email inbox, although I damn sure have tried. It does not mean going to every single kid activity at the expense of my mental health, and it does not mean being busy every goddamn second of the day.

Erica: It means feeling rested. It means my anxiety is low, and I feel good. It means I sleep well at night. It means my kids are safe and feel loved, and it means that I have connection with my husband. You know what it doesn't mean?

Erica: Having a four foot unicorn balloon at a party. So if you're struggling with the crushing weight of these expectations, either put on you by society, by your boss, or by your own damn self, here's what you need to do. I need you to head to my website, www.erikaandersongroody.com, and I want you to download my core values worksheet. I have listed out so many core values from you to choose from, and I want you to print this sheet off and follow these directions. First, I want you to cross off any ones that don't resonate with you.

Erica: This is the easy part because they jump out and you're like, nope. Not for me. But I want you to cross off as many as possible because in the end, you are going to only have three to five core values. So don't go light with that red pen. Just start crossing them off.

Erica: Second, circle any that you feel are very important. This is also easy because it sticks out. I like to use another color for this, like a purple or a blue or green, something a little calming. But once you've done that, pick up that red pen again and start crossing off three at a time, even the ones you've circled, until you can whittle it down to about 10 core values. Now I've already told you that you're gonna end with only three to five core values.

Erica: I prefer three, but some people just can't pare down that far and that's fine. But the next step I want you to take is this high level view, and I want you to look and see if you can combine any of these core values that are similar in nature. Now, for example, health and fitness are both listed. Health is one. Fitness is the other.

Erica: Now both of those have a theme that you can combine them together, and then you define them in a way that works for you. So we're gonna go into that definition piece in a second, but for now, just see what you can group together. How many do you have now? If you don't have three to five yet, I want you to pick that red pen back up and cross off some more. Now listen.

Erica: I know this can be hard. No one wants to cross off words like excellence or ethical or generous, but that might not be your top priority. If you're struggling to prioritize them, stack rank them in order of importance and then really evaluate the ones that are at the bottom. Just because excellence is not a core value of mine does not mean that I don't believe in doing excellent work. It just means it's not a top core value.

Erica: It also means that at times, I may put something out that is slightly less than stellar, but it took courage for me to do it. And guess what? You already know courage is one of my core values. You see how that took precedence? Now once you've narrowed it down down and you have your three to five core values, yay, I want you to pat yourself on the dang back.

Erica: That was not easy. It's actually a lot harder than people think it is. But if you grab the core value worksheet, the second page is a definition sheet, and I give you a place to write out your three to five core values and then also a definition of what it means to you. Now I'm not talking about pulling up the Webster dictionary, although that can be helpful if you wanna get a starting point. I'm talking about how does this word apply to your life?

Erica: How will you use this word to be your guiding light? So here's my example. I'll use health and wellness. When I'm really dreading a workout I'll ask myself is this what a healthy person would do? Well my definition of health and wellness is this, protecting my physical health and mental well-being at all times.

Erica: So it might mean skipping a workout if I need to prioritize sleep. It might mean taking a rest day. Or if I've skipped my workout two days in a row, it might mean prioritizing movement over the laundry, but that's my definition. For me, courage means doing the thing that scares me and stepping outside of my comfort zone. That might mean putting my digital course out to the world or talking about my addiction to alcohol with others, or it might be having the courage to say no to something I really want to do, but I know that I don't have the time.

Erica: You see how that ties in with my mental health? Core values are personal, and no one definition works for all people, which is why it is so important that everyone do this exercise. So again, head to my website or click the link in the show notes to download my core values list and my corresponding definition sheet and establish your three to five core values and what the specific definition is for you. Many people think that core values don't change over time, but I'm here to tell you I do think that they can grow and adapt with you as a person. Now before I stepped into this new iteration of me, courage was not one of my core values, but accomplishment was.

Erica: And guess what? Life changed for me. I had kids. I got married. I wanted more out of life.

Erica: So I don't subscribe that you are married to these core values forever, but they are your values for right now. But how these tie in and become the number one secret to playing bigger in your life is in this next step. Take a real in-depth look at your imposed values. Imposed values are the shoulds. I should act this way if I'm a good mom.

Erica: I should show up this way as a leader. I should. I should. I should. Well, guess what, girl?

Erica: No. You shouldn't. I want you to take time and think about, have there been moments that you did something someone else wanted you to do but went against what your intuition, your gut, your dreams, your desires were telling you to do? Did you marry your college sweetheart because you should be married by '26 even though you weren't sure he was the one? Did you take a job in a field that was a safe one, but it wasn't one that lit you up inside because you should pick a stable career?

Erica: Those imposed values are causing you grief. They're causing you anxiety, and they're keeping you stuck. Now I want you to remember if you are living in the land of the shoulds, which we all have done it from time to time because that is what having, quote, it all means to you. I want you to remember that it is never ever, ever too late to become who you might have been, and it's never too late to change the course of your life. When you stop and redefine what it all means to you, guess what?

Erica: You get to have it all. When you stop and evaluate your core values and how living in alignment with those core values, it brings you closer and closer to having it all. And then you start to align your actions with your dreams and with your intentions. You stop living in the shadow of other people's expectations, and you start living your dream life. And that, my friend, that is the number one secret to playing bigger in your life.

Erica: That is the secret to having it all. Now in alignment with my core value of growth and courage, I have something that I am super, super, super excited to share with you. My first ever digital course is underway, and I am opening up a huge, huge, massive discount to anyone who signs up before May 10. This course is called Reimagine It All, the personal and professional playbook for ambitious women. You will learn how to make your own success, master your time, and unlock a new level of potential with my science backed system that is designed to add value to your life, not things to your to do list.

Erica: Seriously, do not miss out on this deal of a deal because I am going to raise the price to full price after May 10. There will be no exceptions. The link is in the show notes. I cannot wait to see you there. Now thank you for tuning in and listening to the Glass Ceiling and Sticky Floor podcast.

Erica: If you haven't already dropped that five star review, do it today. Make sure you're signed up for my email list. If you sign up for this core values worksheet that we talked about today, you'll automatically be on the list. But don't forget to jump over to my socials, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and TikTok. I dropped some really amazing freebies over there, and you don't wanna miss out.

Erica: But until next time, remember this. The only ceilings that exist are the ones we place over ourselves. Let's smash through them together.