Erica: Hey, girl. By now, you know I have Her Collective, my online community for ambitious women who are done doing it alone. Her Collective is for the women who are smart, capable, and driven, but they find themselves stuck on the sticky floors like self doubt, burnout, and waiting for permission that quite honestly never comes. Inside HER, you get more than motivation. You get real support, real strategies, and real momentum.

Erica: We work on things like clarifying what you want now and what's coming next, building confidence without burning yourself out, navigating hard conversations, career moves, and leadership moments with clarity, and surrounding yourself with women who actually get it. This isn't about hustling harder. It's about moving intentionally with the right tools and the right people in your corner. If you're ready to stop spinning, start choosing yourself, and build a career in life that actually feels aligned, I'd love to welcome you inside her collective. You can learn more and join us at www.joinhercollective.com.

Erica: Because honestly, girl, you were never meant to do this alone. Welcome to the Glass Ceiling and Sticky Floor podcast, the podcast where we get real about the challenges women face in work, life, and leadership. I'm your host, Erica Rooney, HR executive, keynote speaker, and executive coach, and I'm on a mission to get more women into positions of power and keep them there. This is the space where we call it the paradoxes, being told to lean in but not too far, to speak up but not too loudly, to be ambitious but not too ambitious. Sound familiar?

Erica: Y'all, we're over all that. Here, we break down the sticky floors that keep us stuck from imposter syndrome and perfectionism to burnout and fear, and we give you real strategies to shatter those glass ceilings once and for all. So if you're ready to rewrite the rules, own your power, and take your career and life to the next level, you're in the right place. Today, we're talking about something that I hope is gonna hit home for you. It hit really close to home for me.

Erica: And so let me start off by asking you, have you ever had that moment where someone says, hey, can I give you a piece of feedback? Ugh, your stomach just drops. Or maybe you felt your face heat up in a meeting where someone talked over you or challenged you or questioned you for something that you worked way too hard on? I've been there. A lot of us have.

Erica: But here's the truth bomb for today. What triggers you teaches you. And I heard this from Jefferson Fisher. He is incredible, and he wrote the book every no. The book is called The Next Conversation.

Erica: It's incredible. But he talks about that trigger, that discomfort, that gut punch, that moment where, like, your cheeks are flushed and you're holding back tears. It's not just emotion, it's actually data, and it's telling you something. And when you learn how to read it, when you learn how to understand it, it becomes one of the most powerful leadership tools that you have in your arsenal. So most of us were conditioned, especially women, especially ambitious women, to hide our reactions, to smile, to be pleasant.

Erica: Don't let them see you sweat. Right? But what if the very thing that you're trying to suppress is actually the lesson that you need the most? You see, triggers are like these emotional post it notes, which are stuck to your brain, and they're saying things like, hello. This matters, and flashing lights of this needs attention.

Erica: Like, maybe the note says this hit something deeper. You know what I'm talking about? Now that could be criticism. It could be being interrupted or watching someone else get all of the recognition that you deserve. The thing is, your reaction can tell you what you care about.

Erica: It tells you if you're still healing in different areas or where your values might be out of alignment. What triggers you teaches you. But here's the kicker. Research shows that leaders who are more self aware, which means they know what triggers them, they perform better under pressure, they handle feedback with more grace, and they grow faster. Y'all, it's not just woo woo.

Erica: It's not just cute. This is career level emotional intelligence here. So let me be real with you for a second. This is this is the stuff I teach. I coach executive women through it, but I'm not immune to it myself.

Erica: So last year, I flew into New York City for this high stakes training with a Fortune 500 client. The deal was that I had to lead a full day workshop and that they would give me live feedback as I go. Y'all, that's already tough. And on the cab ride home, I could feel that feedback and the tension and the triggers creeping in, right? The tight chest, the shallow breathing, sweaty palms.

Erica: My heart was doing the absolute most it could absolutely be doing. But I realized that it wasn't just this idea of being vulnerable and getting up and leading this presentation that had me spiraling. Right? It was the feedback. It was the what if they hate me thoughts.

Erica: Right? What if I'm not good enough fears? And y'all, that's a sticky floor. The kind that whispers, you're about to be exposed, Erica. They're gonna find all your flaws.

Erica: They're gonna see everything that's wrong with you. But if you fast forward, right, I actually show up, I get in the room, we kick off, and sure enough, someone raises their hand and hits me with some interesting feedback. And they said that my instructions weren't clear, which, of course, cues the stomach drop. Another participant gave me feedback on a core concept that that I was teaching, and, you know, I just I got that hot face. I got the tense jaw.

Erica: I felt myself getting defensive. But here's where we do it differently. Right? We don't spiral. We snap.

Erica: And we all know we talk about the snap all the time on here, and I will revisit it in a second for any of my new listeners. But I basically had to stop and notice what was going on my body. I had to name what I was feeling, and then I had to to ask myself, like, why does this sting so much? Why am I so defensive on this? And then I get to pivot, right?

Erica: But in that ask and answer step of snap, I realized that it wasn't about the feedback that I was getting and what I did or didn't do. It was really about my fear of not being enough. And once I recognized that, once I saw it, I could really pivot and reframe the story. They weren't attacking me. They weren't coming for me.

Erica: They were giving me gold, literally gold nuggets to make myself better. Feedback isn't a threat. Y'all know this. It's insight. And that one comment and how it triggered me, it also helped me not only to tweak my presentation in real time, right, but also to understand that this is how I react, right, and and help me better myself as I move forward because your triggers teach you.

Erica: And my trigger taught me exactly where I needed to grow in that moment. So if I give you the tool that changes the game for me and my clients, the snap method, we're gonna get into it. This is how we turn any of those gut punch moments into leadership gold. So first, stop and take note. Right?

Erica: Notice what's going on in the body. Take a breath. Is it the racing cart? Is it the dry mouth? Is it just the butterflies in the stomach?

Erica: But notice what's going on. Okay? Also know that this is gonna pass if you don't feed into it. You are not your initial reaction. You are watching the reaction.

Erica: Take an objective look. And then, of course, you have to name that sticky floor. Right? Whatever that is that is triggering you, you have to name it and say it out loud. Is it that you're maybe feeling embarrassed because you weren't as clear?

Erica: Or maybe you feel small or not good enough because that's what puts you back in control. Then, of course, you gotta ask and answer those deep and personal questions. Why does this trigger me? Right? For me, it was very clear.

Erica: It's because I cared so much. It was a big deal, high stakes conversation for me, and I was very proud of the work. So understanding why will then help you pivot it, reframe it from, they're not tearing me apart. Apart, they're not even tearing me down. They're actually investing their time in me so that I can be better.

Erica: And that pivot, y'all, that trigger that I turned into a teaching moment, that's how you build resilience, self awareness, and let's be real, unshakable leadership presence. So here's what I want you to hear today. Your triggers, those things that really evoke emotion in you, they're teachers. They're not signs of weakness, but they're invitations to grow. So the next time that something hits a nerve, I don't want you to shut down.

Erica: I don't want you to put up this big armor up all around you. I want you to stop, take notice of what's going on in the body. I want you to name that trigger. Ask yourself the hard questions, the deep questions, the personal questions, you know, those ones you gotta look at yourself eye for eye in the mirror with. And then I want you to pick your pivot.

Erica: Choose a reframe that serves you in that moment. This is how we collectively rise. This is how we get better. This is how we become the kind of leader that we were born to be. What triggers you teaches you.

Erica: Let all of those triggers be your light, be your gold, be your North Star, because when you go after those triggers and you really seek to understand them, it's going to elevate that leadership potential. Now, if this episode hit home, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast, share it with your ambitious bestie, and please leave a review. It helps more women break through those sticky floors. And if you want tools like the snap method in your back pocket every day, join us inside Her Collective. It's where growth meets sisterhood and ambition, and you, yes, you, belong in the room.

Erica: I've saved you a seat. But until next time, remember, what triggers you teaches you. And remember to stay curious, stay bold, and never stop shattering ceilings.