Erica: Hey, girl. By now, you know I have Her Collective, my online community for ambitious women who are done doing it alone. Her Collective is for the women who are smart, capable, and driven, but they find themselves stuck on the sticky floors like self doubt, burnout, and waiting for permission that quite honestly never comes. Inside HER, you get more than motivation. You get real support, real strategies, and real momentum.

Erica: We work on things like clarifying what you want now and what’s coming next, building confidence without burning yourself out, navigating hard conversations, career moves, and leadership moments with clarity, and surrounding yourself with women who actually get it. This isn’t about hustling harder. It’s about moving intentionally with the right tools and the right people in your corner. If you’re ready to stop spinning, start choosing yourself, and build a career in life that actually feels aligned, I’d love to welcome you inside her collective. You can learn more and join us at www.joinhercollective.com.

Erica: Because honestly, girl, you were never meant to do this alone. Let’s talk about failure. For so many women, just hearing that word triggers fear, shame, and the urge to run away and avoid any risk. So today, I wanna talk about the fear failure because that holds so many of us back. We’re going to explore why women often fear failure, how it impacts women differently than men, the science behind it, and most importantly, I’m going to give you some tangible ways that you can combat this fear and rise above it in a world that sometimes feels like a man’s domain.

Erica: First of all, let’s just lay it out there. The fear of failure is a universal human experience. No one wants to fail.

Erica: No one. But it is particularly amplified for women. You see, we are held to this standard of perfection. So all these societal norms and expectations are just piled and piled on top of us, and they are suffocating. Perfectionism and the fear of not measuring up to these societal standards, it really just weighs us down and it keeps us from taking action. We fear judgment.

Erica: We fear criticism and labels of incompetence. We never wanna be seen as not being able to do it all, to be it all, and this can be paralyzing. Now I’ll tell you one of my own sticky floor stories. Really, it’s more like a protection mode for my sticky floor, but I often do not like to tell people that I’m doing something or that I’m hoping for something, like a new job or writing a book, hint, hint, or anything super awesome because what if it doesn’t work out for me? You know, I tell myself that I prefer to just not have to explain it, but really, I don’t want it to not work out.

Erica: I don’t wanna not get the speaking gig, to not get the job, and then have to admit that failure to others. Now how silly is that? And I’ll tell you why it’s silly. By me not being vulnerable and opening myself up to others, to the possibility that I might fail and that I do hope for something, I’m shutting myself off from so much support from my community, from my friends and my family, from people offering me other ideas or different ways of working, from just help. Now why do I do this? I’m not a 100% sure y’all, and this is why these floors are so sticky.

Erica: So when I’m digging down deep and I’m trying to figure out the why, why do I do these crazy nonsensical things, I do try to look at the science. Y’all know me. I’m a science girl, and neuroscience offers some insight as to why failure can be so intimidating. The amygdala, it’s a piece of our brain that is responsible for processing emotions. It often responds so strongly to the fear of failure that it triggers a fight or flight response.

Erica: Right? That’s crazy. So there’s that, but it also, over time, societal conditioning can influence neuropathways, reinforcing this fear, especially in women. So if you’ve ever felt judgment from someone for not succeeding, or if you ever felt questions, like, why is she doing that? Or why would she do it that way?

Erica: Over time, you receive these responses that influence your brain on how you view failure. And furthermore, how you then begin to view and fear that judgment and the questioning, thus fearing failure. So what happens then? The fear of being perceived as a failure can hinder women from pursuing leadership roles, from pursuing advancement, entrepreneurship, which is why there is a hundred and fifty year leadership equity gap. It’s why we don’t dive into entrepreneurship.

Erica: And this gap in opportunities and representation intensifies the impact of failure. And then we’re stuck in this cycle, and it’s like, well, which came first, the chicken or the egg? So how can we combat this fear and rise above the sticky floor of failure? First, let’s redefine success and failure. It is essential to shift our perspective and view failure as a stepping stone towards growth.

Erica: Success is like a journey. It’s not a fixed destination. Okay? It’s always moving, always changing. And by embracing failure as an opportunity to learn, adapt, and evolve, we can lessen that fear that’s associated with it.

Erica: So for example, don’t view applying for a job as a win or lose situation. Look at it as a try this situation. I’m gonna try this out. Look at it like an experiment. Test out a new format of a resume.

Erica: Test out your interview skills and your style. Test it. Don’t look at it as a win or lose, or success or fail, but a test. Some things may work out in your favor, other things might not, but it’s simply getting curious. Now secondly, let’s foster community.

Erica: This is where I really need to lean in. Surround yourself with like minded individuals who understand and support your goals. They know the best practices. They also know where things may go to the left. They know those pitfalls.

Erica: A straw net network can act as a safety net. It can help you navigate through failures, sharing experiences, learning from others. This can lessen the fear and the stigma associated with it. We also need to embrace courageous vulnerability. It is essential to open up about our experiences, including our failures.

Erica: And when we do that, we not only liberate ourselves from these shackles of fear, but also empower others to do the same. Vulnerability fosters authentic connection, and it encourages a culture that celebrates resilience and determination. And that is everything that we stand for at this podcast. Now I wanna challenge you to share a failure with someone you know. Talk about it.

Erica: Open up about it. Get it out there and share it. Make it okay to fail. Make it a part of the daily conversation. And if you can’t think of a race of failure, then you are not trying hard enough.

Erica: Yes. Ask. You know, you are meant for big and magnificent things. So get out there and do them. And look, failure is scary.

Erica: I know. It makes me uncomfortable, and I’m actively working on this. But we can only shatter the sticky floor of failure if we have a concentrated effort to change ourselves and the societal narratives. But here’s the biggest thing that you have to do, and probably the hardest one, but you have to separate your self worth from the outcome, always. Failures do not define you.

Erica: Your ability to show up day after day and try, regardless of the outcome, is what does define you. One failure, even a string of failures, does not define your self worth. So by understanding the science behind the failure and recognizing the unique challenges women face, we can embark on this journey of empowerment, of breaking free from our sticky floors. Let’s redefine success, foster supportive companies, and bravely share our vulnerabilities. We can do this together.

Erica: We can rise. We can conquer our fear of fear itself and build a world where failure is a stepping stone to success for everyone, but especially for women. Now if this is your first time listening or your one hundredth time tuning in, I just wanna thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am so glad that you were here. If you haven’t followed me on all of these socials, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, what are you waiting for?

Erica: I would love to chat with you and make this conversation interactive. But for now, I wanna leave you with a reminder to stop putting a ceiling on what is possible and to start breaking through it.