Erica: Hey, girl. By now, you know I have Her Collective, my online community for ambitious women who are done doing it alone. Her Collective is for the women who are smart, capable, and driven, but they find themselves stuck on the sticky floors like self doubt, burnout, and waiting for permission that quite honestly never comes. Inside HER, you get more than motivation. You get real support, real strategies, and real momentum.

Erica: We work on things like clarifying what you want now and what's coming next, building confidence without burning yourself out, navigating hard conversations, career moves, and leadership moments with clarity, and surrounding yourself with women who actually get it. This isn't about hustling harder. It's about moving intentionally with the right tools and the right people in your corner. If you're ready to stop spinning, start choosing yourself, and build a career in life that actually feels aligned, I'd love to welcome you inside her collective. You can learn more and join us at www.joinhercollective.com.

Erica: Because honestly, girl, you were never meant to do this alone. Hello, friend. Y'all February 20 was my 30 birthday. And, dang, I am getting some years under my belt. How privileged am I?

Erica: Really, how privileged? But with 40 rapidly approaching, I thought I might feel a certain way. Like, that's a big milestone, and it's a big one for women that a lot of people feel really negatively about. But so far, I am just really excited about life and the way everything is unfolding. Now I've heard so many amazing things about getting older mainly that you really stop giving a shit about what other people think and you really focus inward on the things that matter to you.

Erica: And while I'd like to say that's me, caring about what other people think, it's always been a sticky floor of mine. What can I say? I'm a work in progress. But in today's episode, I want to share with you what you can do to feel fine at 39, at 49, at 59, and beyond. And if you're on the other side of the age demographic, trust me, you wanna listen in as well because the earlier you can learn this stuff, the better.

Erica: I was just talking with my wonderful sweet mother-in-law Joanna and she told me that she looks at me and all that I'm doing and she wishes that she had the confidence and the gumption that I do at my age. That she's in her seventies and she's still learning all the things. Well, guess what? We are all learning. And with each generation that comes up, my hope is that each generation before yours, before mine, is helping to pave the way for everyone coming up behind them so that it is easier, so that we can learn faster, so that we can thrive.

Erica: So cheers to feeling fine at any age.

Erica: Now I'm a big believer in reflection, in looking back to see how far we've come because I believe and I've seen it firsthand how easy it is to look ahead at this ever moving goalpost and just feel like, I still have so far to go. But let's take a quick pause. Let's take a beat, and I wanna share this one example that is near and dear to my heart. Let me ask you this. Do you know what year a woman in The United States Of America could get a mortgage?

Erica: Y'all 1974. And I wanna let that sink in 1974. Now while women had, quote, fair access to rental and ownership, they couldn't apply for loans for credit because how many people in your life do you know that could outright buy a home with cash, all cash? For me, it ain't that many. Right?

Erica: Like, that's a big chunk of change here. Not to mention, especially back in the nineteen seventies, women weren't even making all the cash that we have the potential to make today. Many women stayed at home or they had jobs that were traditionally lower paying. Now y'all 1974 is not that long ago. My husband was born in 1973.

Erica: So isn't that wild? I share all of this because if I'm married to a man that was born before women could get access to credit to buy a home, and here I am, a ceiling breaker, a woman, a breadwinner, and someone who has bought her own home. Damn y'all. Look how far we've come. Do we still have far to go?

Erica: Absolutely. But look how far we've come. So two snaps to all the women, you too, Joanna, who live through that world and who have all put one foot in front of the other, who have fought to work outside the home, who have fought to climb the ladder, and who have stepped into their own levels of confidence so that we, me, you, we can have more equality, more confidence, and more security. So I won't step off my soapbox because y'all know I like to live there, but I will share with you what I've learned over the past year. I've spent some time reflecting because I do look ahead at all the things I wanna do, and I feel just this overwhelming sense of, oh my god.

Erica: There's so much to do. There's so far to go when I really need to be celebrating how far I've come. So first, I have put more care into my mental health than ever before. Previous years, I was all in on my job, but I've really learned that even if my email box is not at zero, I'm still doing a damn good job. The company still runs, and I'm not burnt out.

Erica: I've learned that I can walk away at 05:00. And guess what? All of those things will still be there when I come back at 9AM. Now previously, I would have spent hours battling my inbox and my never ending to do list, but guess what? That to do list and those emails, they are still there after I rest, after I take some breaths for myself.

Erica: And 99.9% of the time, nothing happens if I don't get to those emails for a day or two. The challenge for me has always been to disconnect, to truly unplug and walk away, both physically and mentally. And the one thing that's really helped me slow my brain down when it's spiraling over all the things I have yet to do is honestly, simply make a list. Make a list on a sticky note, on a note card, in your notebook by your bed, whatever works for you. But when I organize my thoughts, it opens up a space that allows me to breathe.

Erica: Think of it like a stepping stone out of a super crowded elevator. Like, if you are back to back to back with all the stinky and sweaty people in this elevator, and when you write all your shit down, you get to then step out of that elevator, and you leave all those stinky, sweaty people behind. Now the second thing is the reminder that you do have to slow down to speed up. If you are trying to spin 10 plates all at once twenty four seven, it is inevitable that they will crash down. You might be able to stay in it for a short period of time, but that's not a long term game plan.

Erica: One minor inconvenience like a sick kid or a work emergency to throw you off balance and all of those plates crash and shatter to the floor. So I wanna ask you, what plate can you put down today? Even if just for a little bit, even if just for a moment, what can you put down today? For me this past year, I was trying to be in all the places all the time, and, of course, I was trying to excel at them. Right?

Erica: Home, work, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, threads, and, of course, LinkedIn. I even invested in this AI tool that was supposed to help. And while it's interesting, it felt like it took me further away from connecting with the woman that I started this podcast and business for. I truly just felt burnt out by social media. I felt burnt out in general.

Erica: Even writing some of these podcast episodes were a struggle because my creativity was zapped. So the message here is show up where you need to show up. Show up where you're filled with energy and joy. Do not show up because you think you should have to show up. And this really hones in on the shoulds of life.

Erica: Like, I used to feel like I should go to every single baseball practice and game, and y'all know that I don't. Love him, but watching 20 kids swing a bat does not bring me joy when it's dark and cold out, and I just wanna be home by the fire with a good book. So if you are feeling the weight of the shoulds, if you are feeling like you were spinning 10 plates and they are all off kilter and it's only a moment or a slight breeze before they all come crashing down, I want you to stop. I want you to take a breath, and I want you to really ask yourself, what can I put down today? Now let me tell you, you don't have to put it down forever.

Erica: So if you feel this sense of panic like I can't walk away, don't worry. You can always come back. You can always put something down and then pick it back up later. It's not forever. But slowing down to speed up will give you more balance, and you'll find you're actually doing more better instead of doing more subpar.

Erica: Now the third thing that really popped out at me from this past year is learning to celebrate the small things. The big things too, but definitely the small things. It's so easy to get caught up in all we have to do. And as high achieving ambitious women, it is so easy to just check off the accomplishments and brush past them like it ain't no thing. But, girl, it is a big deal.

Erica: I want to invite more of this into my thirty ninth year, and I wanna find something to celebrate every day. Now it could be as big as my book launch that will be happening later in 2024, or it can be as small as actually getting in a workout and eight hours of sleep in the same day. Now what I found is that the celebrations bring more joy, they bring more peace, and they bring more happiness. Really, they do. So by way of inviting more celebrations into my us that as all of these powerful women that we are, that we can do all the things that we want to do.

Erica: And it also reminds me how far we've come too, back to my point about the mortgages. We must celebrate every day. Y'all life is short, and I don't wanna wait for a health crisis or the death of a close friend or family member to be reminded of that. Although this is the truth for many, many, many of us. I wanna celebrate today.

Erica: Now I wanna celebrate all the things, but will you also celebrate with me? And before I close it out, I do wanna share with you what I want to keep working on and what I am going to invite into my life. And the first big thing is my book. Y'all know that it's going to be such a celebration and a milestone, and it'll be about October ish. But guess what?

Erica: Mel Robbins is endorsing my book, and her quote about my book, Glass Ceilings and Sticky Floors, will be on the cover. So two snaps for that. I am so excited. Next up, I wanna get very clear about how I wanna make a difference in the world and how I'm going to do that. So these are some of the things that I'm holding close to the vest right now that I'm not a 100% ready to share with the world yet.

Erica: But as I work through them, I promise I will share them with you. But it really centers on clarity on how I want to feel and clarity of what brings me joy and clarity of purpose. And then finally, I wanna find more joy and happiness in every day. I have found that it is so easy to get caught up in the grind, that it's so easy to get caught up in just the daily hustle and bustle. And as moms, we know the days are long, but the years are short.

Erica: And I already have a soon to be nine year old and a soon to be six year old, and they aren't babies anymore. They are still little. They still wanna snuggle with me and hold my hand, and I just just wanna relish every delicious moment that I can because I know they'll be over before I can blink. So with all that being said, thank you. Thank you for being with me on this journey, for listening to me, and for all of your messages that you send me.

Erica: I read each and every single one of them, and every single one of them pushes me further along on this journey, and they are so helpful on the days that I wonder if I am even making a difference. But you are making a difference in my life. Now get out there and enjoy your day. Find something to celebrate even if it's just getting through this short podcast episode and enjoy life. But until next time, stop putting ceilings on what's possible and start smashing through them.