Erica: Hey, girl. By now, you know I have HER Collective, my online community for ambitious women who are done doing it alone. HER Collective is for the women who are smart, capable, and driven, but they find themselves stuck on the sticky floors like self doubt, burnout, and waiting for permission that quite honestly never comes. Inside HER, you get more than motivation. You get real support, real strategies, and real momentum. We work on things like clarifying what you want now and what's coming next, building confidence without burning yourself out, handling hard conversations, career moves, and leadership moments with clarity, and surrounding yourself with women who actually get it. This isn't about hustling harder.

Erica: It's about moving intentionally with the right tools and the right people in your corner. If you're ready to stop spinning, start choosing yourself, and build a career and a life that actually feels aligned, I'd love to welcome you inside HER Collective. You can learn more and join us at www.joinhercollective.com. Because honestly, girl, you were never meant to do this alone. Hey there.

Erica: Do you identify as someone who's a people pleaser? Do you struggle with what other people say about you? Do you let what they say affect you in a negative way? I have, and I sometimes still do. And this topic is very near and dear to my heart, because me, you, everyone really, we all wanna belong.

Erica: We all want to be liked, respected, and thought highly of. So those words of others that leave you feeling, well, less than fabulous, they can cut deep. Today, we're gonna talk about those other people, because guess what? It isn't about you. Really, it isn't.

Erica: But we're gonna talk about how you can push past those feelings and shift your mindset so that you can be happier, accomplish more, and live a more full life. I'm sure you've heard the quote, what other people think of you is none of your business. And let's be honest. That is a 100% true. It does matter what your partner thinks of you.

Erica: It matters what your boss thinks of you if you wanna stay employed. Those are two critical relationships that you just can't ignore. But the other 99% of people in your life, you could apply that to what they think of you, what you do, your goals, how you live your life. The only person that matters to is you. You see, when I was younger, I used to let what other people said about me rule my life and dictate how I felt about myself.

Erica: I was totally wrapped up in their opinions, and I let them shape how I acted, what activities I did or did not do, and how I saw myself. And let me tell you, that's no way to live. In the ninth grade, I became a cheerleader for my high school because someone else I knew was doing it. And I thought that was what I needed to do to be cool. I'm five foot nine, y'all.

Erica: I cannot flip my legs over my head for anything. And quite honestly, I don't want to. Hindsight is, of course, twenty twenty. And looking back, I just wanted to belong, but it wasn't my thing. It wasn't my gift.

Erica: I much prefer sitting in the stands at the football game than cheering from the sidelines. Because I wasn't passionate about this high school activity, I never really got better at it. I was anxious. I doubted my abilities, and I kind of felt stupid.

Erica: And I wondered what people said about me behind my back and why I was even doing it at all. When I started college, I did all of the things that you do to get into a sorority, because that was the thing to do. I got the letters of recommendation. I signed up for rush. I paid the money to rush.

Erica: But the day of, I could not go through with it. I was literally walking on campus on my way to the sorority house. And I had this huge WTF moment, turned around, and I went home. And in that moment, something shifted. I realized that what others said about me, either being in a certain group or not, or what they thought about me, wasn't my business.

Erica: I didn't wanna do it. It just wasn't for me. Now they could talk all the smack they wanted to, but it had no reflection on the person that I was or the person I was becoming. In fact, it said a lot more about them than it did about me. And I wanna repeat that, because that is so important.

Erica: What other people say about you says more about them than it does about you. You see, when someone says something negative about you, it isn't about you at all. It's about their own insecurities, their own fears, their own sticky floors. When someone criticizes you, it's usually because they are feeling insecure about themselves in some way. They are feeling inadequate.

Erica: They are feeling less than, and they want to make you feel that way because it makes them feel better about themselves. When I tell people that I don't drink, I get a lot of comments about that. I've heard them all. I don't trust people who don't drink. People who don't drink aren't fun.

Erica: And my favorite being, oh, it must be so boring. Interesting. But what that tells me is that they don't trust themselves. It tells me they're scared that they might not be fun if they don't drink. It tells me a whole lot about them, and it tells me absolutely nothing about me.

Erica: Here's the thing. You don't have to take on their insecurities as your own. You do not have to let their limiting beliefs become your own. You can choose to rise above it and see their criticisms for what they really are, a reflection of their own fears and insecurities. One thing I've learned is that when you have someone who is super nitpicky, this could be a boss, spouse, whoever, they criticize you and they just pick, pick, pick.

Erica: It's usually because they have something going on within their own life that they aren't happy with. Now we aren't gonna go into that, because guess what? Speculating on whatever that may be, it's not your business. What is your business is making sure that you are happy. You are fulfilled.

Erica: You are living your life and not letting the negativity of others impact that. Now I wanna give one insight, that if you are living your life with intention, if you are living according to your core values and you are acting with integrity, that negativity that is being thrown your way does not have to impact you. The moment that you start living your truth, no one, no one will have that power over you, because you'll realize that what they are saying is only a reflection of them. So if someone is saying some negative BS or doubting you, your goals, or your abilities, do not let that dim your shine. Keep being you.

Erica: Keep chasing big dreams, and let that person play small. You aren't doing that. Remember, you are amazing, and you do not need anyone's validation to know that. I'm gonna say it one more time. I'm gonna say it louder for the people in the back.

Erica: You are amazing, and you do not need anyone's validation to know it. Before you go, make sure you give me a follow on Instagram and Facebook. And if you head over there, you will find more content just like this. My IG handle is Erica Anderson Rooney, and I can't wait to see you there.