Erica: Hey, girl. By now, you know I have Her Collective, my online community for ambitious women who are done doing it alone. Her Collective is for the women who are smart, capable, and driven, but they find themselves stuck on the sticky floors like self doubt, burnout, and waiting for permission that quite honestly never comes. Inside HER, you get more than motivation. You get real support, real strategies, and real momentum.

Erica: We work on things like clarifying what you want now and what's coming next, building confidence without burning yourself out, navigating hard conversations, career moves, and leadership moments with clarity, and surrounding yourself with women who actually get it. This isn't about hustling harder. It's about moving intentionally with the right tools and the right people in your corner. If you're ready to stop spinning, start choosing yourself, and build a career in life that actually feels aligned, I'd love to welcome you inside her collective. You can learn more and join us at www.joinhercollective.com.

Erica: Because honestly, girl, you were never meant to do this alone.

Ashley: I have this note to myself, which is over here, and it says I find mediocre white men very inspiring. Think about it. There is a category of human that with no evidence to support it says I am I am amazing. I can do anything I set my mind to. I'm the greatest at whatever I set out to do, and there's literally no evidence to support that.

Ashley: Okay. So now that is someone who's very inspiring. Look at, like, Arnold Schwarzenegger, for instance. How he has he's talentless, essentially. Right?

Ashley: He's not like a he's no great actor. We knew him as a bodybuilder. We knew him as a politician. There were three times where he

Erica: had no business being in an industry. I'm your host, Erica Rooney, and I have made it my mission to climb straight to the top of the corporate ladder and bring as many women with me as possible. Today's fabulous guest is a speaker, a startup founder, and my favorite, a champion of moms.

Erica: And y'all, she's done the TED talk. She's written the book. She has done and is doing all the things. Ashley Quinto Powell, thank you so much for your time today. I am so happy to have you.

Erica: You have absolutely no idea how excited I am.

Ashley: We're gonna have so much fun.

Erica: Oh, I know. So I want to dive right on in to who is Ashley Powell, what's, like, a brief backstory, how did we come to be this amazing speaker, champion of moms, all the things?

Ashley: Wow. That's, like, the world's biggest question. Yeah. So I guess we are diving right in. Perfect.

Erica: Dive in.

Ashley: I am like, remember when you were in high school and there was, like, one person who was in all the clubs? Like, all the clubs and so you know that it was a girl. She definitely, like, was the president of five of them, and then she ran for the class president, and she was, like, kind of annoying. I think election might have been about her. Anyway, that was me, and I just continued that into adulthood.

Ashley: I'm a joiner, and I have I will never apologize for wanting to do all the things that seem interesting.

Erica: Oh my gosh. And you're doing all the things today. Your TED talk is amazing. And as a mom with two small kids, AKA, as you like to call them, ankle biters Yeah. I was just like, this woman is for me.

Erica: And your story about your supportive husband and you know, your family dynamics was so powerful. Can you kinda share a little bit about what that family dynamic is today?

Ashley: Sure. So, I think when I gave my, when I gave my TEDx talk, the dynamic was that I was traveling four days a week from our home in Madison to Chicago, and, and I had my dream job. I was the I headed sales and marketing for, Chicago's number one software development firm, which is what I had been doing but for smaller firms. And my poor husband, as I was going through this interview process, kept saying, hey. I don't wanna move.

Ashley: You should know that I don't wanna move. Literally never wanna move to Chicago. If I had said, listen. Let's move to a war torn country. We'll go with nothing but the clothes on our backs and our children and 75¢.

Ashley: He would have been like, great. Sounds like an adventure. Chicago was just like an absolute nonstarter. As I was going through the interview process, I kept saying, well, they're not asking me to come move. They're asking me to interview, so slow your roll.

Ashley: And as it turns out, if you don't plan at all to get an an interview or a job offer, you will definitely get that job offer and then have to figure it out. And, luckily, I had a really good friend who said, you know, why don't you just commute? You wanna go, do four tens, get an apartment. And I ended up sharing this, adorable apartment with my best friend, Kyle, who, first of all, how fun was this? It was in the middle of Boys Town, Chicago where I grew up.

Ashley: There was an all male cabaret revue that rehearsed in the apartment twice a week. And, and had I been, like, in a single person in my early twenties, I would have been having the time of my life. But as a, like, a middle aged mom of two, I was having the time of my life. And then okay. So then the pandemic hit, and instead of being gone four days a week and, like, super time super happy fun time divorced dad, I went to being in my house all the time with my children.

Ashley: And that dynamic was, like, really, really upset the apple cart. But as it turns out, your children will give you will give you will, like, give you crap about how often you work even if you never leave the house and even if you are spending all your time paying attention to them. So just glad to

Erica: I can attest to that as well.

Ashley: So but today, we are, we have a very, very different dynamic. I am super involved and so is my husband, so I didn't really displace him. But we're now we're just hyper involved. And, he joined my business, which is a virtual assistant firm that helps other women do more of what they wanna do through the same thing that my whole philosophy is built on. Anyway, that's my spiel.

Erica: I love it. And so much of your story and just being a mom in corporate America resonated with me. I think it will resonate with anyone that really listens to it and is going through it because it's not easy. You know? And you went against a lot of the stereotypes being the breadwinner, going out, doing the work, and having your husband stay home.

Erica: Did you get any weird pushback or anything like that from friends or relatives? Or what was that experience like for you?

Ashley: You know, I think, my parents were like, yes. This is what has always been meant to happen. Ashley is going to pursue her career. And this is, like, it's I think for my family, it really felt like it made a lot of sense. And for my friends too, it felt like, oh, yes.

Ashley: Of course, you're gonna go out and do that thing. I think for new people that I met, it was a little strange, and there was a lot of, like, oh my goodness. Where are your children? And, it is really funny. She's like, oh my gosh.

Ashley: I left them in the car. Yeah. And then, you know

Erica: I forgot to get them from school.

Ashley: Oops. I forgot I had them entirely. There were definitely men in particular while I was traveling. I would say like, oh, I couldn't be a good parent if I weren't home for dinner every night. Oh, well, turns out there are all sorts of ways to be a bad parent.

Erica: Yeah. It turns out you can be home every night for dinner and be a really shitty parent still too.

Ashley: So Correct. Correct. And I had someone who asked me if it was hard coming home and taking control back over of my house from my husband, and I was like, woah. Woah. Woah.

Ashley: Woah. Woah. No. No. I would literally never do that.

Ashley: I would never come home and decide, like, oh, now it's my turn to be in charge here because I would feel worst of words. Ugh. Gross. I know. I know.

Erica: No. And I asked the question because as someone who has frequently traveled for work, my husband does not. We both work. I get those questions all the time, like, from the people in my neighborhood, from people that I travel with. They're constantly like,

Erica: what do you do with the kids?

Erica: You know? And it's like, there are two capable parents here, guys. Like, I leave them with the other capable parent. And it It's really sad. Yeah.

Erica: It drives me crazy because I know that it my husband would not get that question. Not one time.

Ashley: No. Never. And, you know, when I did a lot of travel so not even four tens, but just work travel, you know, the, like, once or twice a month that you go to a conference or something. I felt like the messaging there to parents who do that is even more insidious because, oh, what are you doing to advocate for yourself so you don't have to do this at all? Well, I love traveling, especially when my daughter didn't sleep until she was well into three.

Ashley: And there were times where I was a total asshole, And I, like, left my poor husband with, like, a vomiting toddler and was like, oh, business ripped in Denver. Gotta go. Bye. And, you know, that's that was really great for me and probably absolutely not great for him. But I was very, very happy to have a hotel room and no one waking me up in the middle of the night.

Ashley: And I'm sorry, but even really fun business trips, you're in bed by, like, 09:30.

Erica: Yeah. Girl, I just got back from New York City for a business trip. I got back on Friday, and it was like a vacation. It was Tell me all about it. And I only say this because my husband doesn't listen to my podcast.

Erica: But, like, I made it so that I got in a little early, and I left a little late so that I could just Yes. Even breathe a little more. It was so refreshing. But I wanna talk about sticky floors a little bit. And this is something we talked about, those limiting beliefs, the toxic relationships, toxic behaviors, you know, perfectionism, things that hold you back.

Erica: And I wanna hear about it from you because you also have a chapter in your book called you don't have imposter syndrome, and that is one of the sticky floors that I talk a lot about, like, that I hear women talk about. So I wanna hear your perspective on that.

Ashley: Well, I think imposter syndrome is a really fascinating thing, and I will also preface it with, I do not think it's a I do not think that this is an internal problem to be solved because there is something intrinsically wrong with us. I think listen. If we have imposter syndrome, it is because the entire world has been telling us the many myriad reasons that we are, that we are flawed for years and years and years. And then when we finally make it to a place that we have been told we don't deserve for years and years and years, and we think, oh, we maybe don't deserve this, all of a sudden that's a flaw in us feels like, another injustice. I do feel like listen.

Ashley: This is not a thing. This is a completely rational reaction to a very, a very ingrained, very hardwired belief of about us in, in our own heads and in everybody else's. So having said that, I will also confess that I, in the last six months, had a discussion with my therapist where she said, I think you might have imposter syndrome. And I said, oh, well so So here's the thing. Imposter syndrome doesn't exist, and here are all the reasons why.

Ashley: And, anyway, I'm actually a fraud. So let me take you down all of the reasons that I am a real fraud and no one else is. So, you know, at some point, like, it's no matter who you are or what you do, that stuff is still real deep.

Erica: Did your therapist then immediately say, like, let's have another follow-up session tomorrow on this? We should go all in.

Ashley: You're the client that's gonna send my children to summer camp every day.

Erica: They're like, well, okay. I'm gonna book you to see you every single day at 04:00 now because we got a lot of work to do, lady.

Ashley: That is for real.

Erica: Well, I love, like, hearing from all the different women and their perspectives on it because I have had women who are, like, straight up, it's bullshit. Women don't have it. Very much like this is an injustice that is put on us. And then I have other women who say, yeah. I see that side of the coin, but, like, I still feel like it.

Erica: So what does that mean? You know? And it's almost this conundrum of, like, I get what you're saying, but I still feel like an imposter. What do I do?

Ashley: Yes. You know? Okay. So I have this note, to myself, which is over here, and it says I find mediocre white men very inspiring. Think about it.

Ashley: There is a category of human that with no evidence to support it says I am I am amazing. I can do anything I set my mind to. I'm the greatest at whatever I set out to do, and there's literally no evidence to support that. Okay. So now that is someone who is very inspiring.

Ashley: Look at, like, Arnold Schwarzenegger, for instance. How he has he's talentless, essentially. Right? He's not like a he's no great actor. We knew him as a bodybuilder.

Ashley: We knew him as a politician. There were three times where he had no business being in an industry and then dom and then, like, got to the highest point of how inspiring is that? So now listen, Erica. You and I are actually talented people who are smart and capable. And if we just adopted an iota of that instinct that, like, oh, yes.

Ashley: I can do anything. That makes mediocre white men so successful. We should be able to absolutely conquer the world. I mean, this is powerful stuff. So that's sort of one of the things that I think about a lot.

Ashley: Like, alright. Really, practically, what would, white man Joe Smith do in this situation, and how do I make sure that I go in with the same confidence, deserved or undeserved, that, that imaginary Joe Smith might have? And, and if you think about it like that I mean, imaginary Joe Smith has no talent. Right? There's no there's nothing to there's no accolades.

Ashley: There's no there's no virtuosity in what they're doing, but they still think, I am the best ever. And we need to be telling ourselves that too.

Erica: I just keep thinking that all of us on the receiving end of white Joe Smith is going like the audacity of this person, right, to do whatever, to go into politics, to ask this, to go for that raise, that promotion, the audacity. Right? But they're sitting here like, well, why not? Absolutely. Why not?

Erica: And if only we could bottle that up and sell it, girl, we would be rich. That is for sure. So rich. We would

Ashley: be

Erica: rich. So when we talk about sticky floors too, have you ever you know, when you're looking back at everything that you've accomplished and gone through, been able to kind of identify a different sticky floor or something like that where you were like, you know, I really did kinda get stuck in that issue or that way or doing something.

Ashley: Yeah. I think, of course, hindsight is always twenty twenty. And now looking back, I can identify all of the times where I thought I was being a good sport, and, actually, I really should have spoken up and been a way better self advocate. Early in my career, I worked for a pretty big corporation, and I got the single largest, percentage raise increase in the company. And that, had less to do with my spectacular talent and more to do with somebody saying, oh, I think she's actually gratuitously underpaid.

Ashley: We really have to do something here. I mean, you know, there's all sorts of stuff like that. I think one of the, one of the current things that I'm thinking about a lot is, the limiting beliefs around what is truly, truly possible for us. And I think so far, I have done an okay job of you know, when I set out to write the book, I didn't actually I wasn't very precious about, oh, well, I'm an author or I'm not an author or I'm creative or I'm not. I don't know.

Ashley: Plenty of people write books. Surely, I can do it too. And it didn't occur to me until way later that people would actually read the book, and so it had to be at least semi something that I was proud of. But, frankly, if at some point when I was writing it, if it was just done and out the door, I was gonna be happy with it. So I don't know what that I'm maybe that has more to do with, making sure your standards for yourself are reasonable and kind rather than you know, you mentioned perfectionism.

Ashley: That is really a killer.

Erica: Yes. Yes. I was talking about this on a podcast yesterday with, someone in the wedding industry, which was super interesting because, as you know, whenever you're getting married, you want it to be perfect. You wanna have the perfect day, the perfect weather, the perfect bouquet. And I was just like, I never thought about perfectionism through the eyes of a wedding planner.

Erica: And what that horrific level of anxiety must feel like every single day for all the brides and stuff because you as the wedding planner, you know it's not gonna be perfect. Every single wedding is never perfect. Right?

Ashley: Yeah.

Erica: Like, you have to wake up every day with a new bride who has the expectation of perfect. Like, I can't think of a worse job now.

Ashley: No. That makes me wanna breathe into a paper bag. That's terrible.

Erica: I told her. I said, I'm feeling such anxiety right now. But perfectionism, I know I experience it, but it's interesting because I never thought that I did. I never thought I was a perfectionist. I have messy areas of my house.

Erica: You see unfolded things behind me. Right? Like, I don't have to have these certain what I think a lot of people think of perfectionism. But for me, I was experiencing perfectionism in certain areas of my motherhood. Right?

Erica: Like, when I was, a first time mom and had a baby, like, my first baby was gonna be breastfed for twelve months because that was what you're supposed to do, and that's what all the good moms do. So, like, that's what you have to do. And, you know, at some point, my milk supply started to dry up. And so what did I do then? I bought all these random supplements.

Erica: I woke up in the middle of the night so that I could pump more. And I was doing all of this stuff, which was detrimental physically because I wasn't getting the sleep I needed and mentally because I was feeling like I wasn't doing enough. And really, I could just give my kids some formula and be okay.

Erica: Hey there, listeners. If you have ever felt like you're stuck in a place, held back by self doubt, perfectionism, or that pesky inner critic, you're not alone. We all face those sticky floors that keep us from reaching the heights we dream of. But guess what? It's time to shatter those limiting beliefs and toxic behaviors to uncover infinite possibilities.

Erica: My book, Glass Ceilings and Sticky Floors, is your ultimate guide to smashing through barriers, overcoming limiting beliefs, and stepping into your full potential. This book has been endorsed by none other than the great Mel Robbins, best selling author and motivational powerhouse. It's also been featured in Success Magazine, so you know it's packed with insights that work. Inside, you'll find real life sticky floor stories, practical strategies to help you navigate your own sticky floor moments, and a whole lot of inspiration to keep you climbing. This isn't just a book.

Erica: It's your road map to success, confidence, and freedom. Grab your copy of Glass Ceilings and Sticky Floors today at www.ericaandersonrooney.com. Whether you're in the boardroom, the classroom, or just starting out, this book is for you because no one, and I mean no one, deserves to stay stuck, no one deserves to feel small, and you have glass ceilings to shatter. Let's do this.

Ashley: Yeah. Well, that's an area that there's so much pressure around moms. And, I mean, looking back, you could you have so much more self compassion than you did in the moment where, like, there's so much shame built up in, like, that particular like, being able to provide for your baby. I mean, this is and having everybody say, well, but your breast is fast, so we better Yeah.

Erica: We can give you

Ashley: all the statistics around, like, what minuscule difference it makes. But Naturally, kids

Erica: are, like, eating week old French fries that they find in their car seats.

Ashley: Right.

Erica: I don't even know if they're a week old. They could be older than that. You know? Like, I don't know what they're doing now. I just know they're not starving.

Ashley: So Right. Right.

Erica: My standards and my perfectionism and motherhood have gone way down. You know? But I also experienced perfectionism in areas. Like, I come from a huge fitness background, so I've always worked out. But I always have these, like, it had to be thirty minutes a day for cardio, and it had to be this for weight training.

Erica: And, like, if you weren't doing that, then why even bother? And I literally would watch my husband who would come up behind me and be like, I've got fifteen minutes. I'm gonna hit the, you know, gym in our house real quick. And I'm like, you are such an idiot. Fifteen minutes?

Erica: Like, that's not gonna do anything for you. And then by the end of the week, he would have an hour, and I would have nothing. You know? Yeah. Yeah.

Erica: And and that is still something that I have to work on because I will catch myself being like, oh, do I have 30? No. I don't have thirty minutes. I'll just I'll do some more emails, you know, instead of prioritizing some movement. So it's interesting how it can show up in certain areas and not others.

Ashley: You know, that's a really interesting example. I think a lot about how you sort of have to make a conscious choice about whether you wanna be, over involved in the small stuff or if you wanna be focused on the big stuff. And for me, it's the big stuff. Right? The and, in the in the work that I do with my virtual assistant firm, there's so much tied into our, feelings of, self worth and our productivity, they are very, very closely tied.

Ashley: Well, everybody in their whole lives, whether you're a business owner or an executive or just a human trying to get better at being a human, you always move from, task based productivity to strategy based productivity. When you're the CEO, nobody needs you to be working on, folding paper and putting them in envelopes. It's not a great use of your time. You should be focusing on the strategy. Maybe you should be focusing on what the, what the overarching communication goal of the things that go in all the envelopes is.

Ashley: And, we spend a lot of time focused on getting the little stuff right and getting the little stuff done. And, actually, we need to just decide that the little stuff is not where we spend our time at all. It's the big stuff because you can be mired in little stuff or you can be looking at big stuff, and you probably cannot do both. You certainly cannot do both in the way that perfectionist you know, I think too that's a, you know, that puts a barrier between you and other humans. This like, oh, I don't want anyone to see that I'm imperfect.

Ashley: That keeps people from getting close to you and, you know, that's a that's just a wall that you put up and, and there's a lot in like, you should be able to show people that you're you've got dirty laundry over there and unfolded something and, you know human. Correct.

Erica: And we are all perfectly imperfect. Right? Like, we all have these flaws. Right. Whatever they need.

Ashley: I don't I mean, I feel like the people who have, like, very, very pristine homes, that's that is the same as, you know, that's the same as making sure that you never leave the house without makeup. Nobody's ever gonna see your flaws. Okay. That's okay. Nobody's ever gonna see your flaws, but that also means that everybody's gonna, have trouble relating to you because no one says, oh, look at how perfect I am and look at how perfect you are, and we must be so perfect together.

Ashley: It's not like, oh, no. You are damaged in the same way that I am. You have the same, you have the same issue with husband and kid and job, and a little sauvignon blanc is gonna make this friendship just ignite and go forever.

Erica: Yeah. What I love to think about there too is, you know, if you're using the makeup term, you're going out like this flawless skin every single day, it does not allow others the opportunity to know the real you. Right? Like, the deep meanings and connections that, like, as humans, we thrive on and we survive on. Like, belonging is such an innate sense of who we are and what we need as humans that if you're putting on this makeup mask every single day and going out into the world, how does that translate for you at home when nobody has this real insight into who you are.

Erica: Yeah. That's the deep stuff. We could go to your therapist for we'll go to your therapist for that one. I'll talk to mine too. Oh my gosh.

Erica: So earlier, you said when you were talking about self worth, but you said you thought you were being a good sport. And I wanted to go back to that because so many of the women that I work with and that I talk to on this podcast all say, you know, they wish they knew their value more. They wish they understood their worth, but they never put it as being a good sport. And I think the way you worded that will connect and resonate with so many people because we often don't see it as undervaluing who we are and what we're doing and our contributions. We think we're being a good sport.

Erica: We're just, you know, taking one for the team, going with it. Right? When in reality, we may be cutting ourselves short.

Ashley: And I'd love to

Erica: hear your perspective on that.

Ashley: Well, I think there's, there's balance in everything. And I think about very specifically, I think about, like, early in your career, you may have worked a lot of, like, unpaid overtime, for instance. And I always felt like, ugh, the lamest thing that I would do is to claim every single moment. This is a career, not a job. You know, it was mostly, like, in sales putting together deals.

Ashley: I'm should I'm not focused on the minutes, and there are definitely people who are sitting next to you who are clamoring for every minute. And that still feels to me very, very small. Right? Like, I'm trying to put together something that will last now for the next decade. Right?

Ashley: I'm trying to build a foundation in my career, in my book of business that will last, you know, the next two decades. So I'm not gonna be concerned about, nickel and diming a company. On the other hand, there is absolutely no reason that a, a single human should be, should be a bank for a large corporation. So for instance, I've not today, I feel like I don't know. My, my standard, my standards my standard place is on the couch cuddling with kids or watching a movie with my husband.

Ashley: And if I'm doing something other than that, you kinda need to pay me for it. I would right. I might not have, I might not have said that early in my career. But, but there is justice to you have to pay me for everything because I'm not gonna it's not a favor to me to anyway, I'm not sure where I come out on that because I think it is really, I think it's very much in line with, like, well, when you see, another woman dressed, inappropriately for an office, do you pull her aside and say, hey. This is inappropriate, and I don't want people to get the wrong impression.

Ashley: Or do you say, like, go girl. You've got some great legs. And if I had those legs, I would for sure show them off. And anyone who doesn't understand that is a sexist pig. I mean, they're both there's a place for both of them, and I think you can spend a lot of time in your head about either of those things, whether you're, you know, whether you're counting every moment or investing for the future or whether you're deciding that today is the, is the day that we're all gonna show off our our fabulous legs that we've worked so hard for or wrap it up under a skirt and decide that, well, I guess the patriarchy is already still in charge.

Ashley: So

Erica: I'll tell you. The head's gonna show off their legs, the mediocre white man. Because he doesn't care. Always wearing such short shorts? He does not care.

Ashley: No. He doesn't care. At all.

Erica: So tell me about and y'all listening here, this is gonna tell you how big time this woman is. Right? Tell me about losing out to Serena Williams. You were like, oh god. Where is she going with this?

Ashley: I was. I love that I lost out to Serena Williams. So I had this, like, I had this, job that, I had just started my consulting business, and, I was actually in a coaching session with, like, the world's best coach. And we were going through, like, what is your vision? We were laying out my book and my speaking career.

Ashley: And, and I got a text that said, hey. It's essentially this job that is made for you. They want someone to be out in front of their company. They're gonna they would absolutely benefit from your book and your wisdom about being a working mom and the whole thing. And and also, okay, it was so much it was, like, so much money.

Ashley: And I was I literally felt so custom built for this job, and I felt like the job was perfect. And I would, I would just absolutely crush it. And so I did as every woman worth her salt did. I called all my girlfriends, and I said, let's look at my resume. We did the we did the whole thing.

Ashley: And I had great interviews, and then I didn't get the job. And I was like, how dare they? Don't they see that I am, like, the actual perfect person for this? There's literally no one else on earth built so perfectly for this job. And then, they hired Serena Williams for the same the same thing.

Ashley: And, you know, as much as you think that you're the perfect person, you don't actually know that, you know, the really, the culture would have aligned. I think it was such a good lesson for me that from the outside, you can want something so badly and think that it is so perfect, and you can count the, you can count the ways that it makes sense. When you don't get it, though, you don't you don't always have the opportunity to see, like, oh, actually, that culture was terrible, and you would have been miserable. Oh, actually, it was a ton of money, but you would have you would have you would have given away your life because you worked so much. You never have the opportunity to see the other side of that coin, and I just happened to see, that they, for a suspiciously similar position, got Serena Williams.

Ashley: And I have to say, yes. I would have made that decision too. I mean, me or Serena, obviously, you pick Serena Williams when you have the chance. You always take Serena Williams. So kudos to them.

Ashley: They did the right thing.

Erica: I love this story. And that opens up the conversation for such, you know, you talk about it's so hard to see the other side of that coin too when you don't get the job or you don't get the gig or whatever it is. You know, twenty years Yeah. Sometimes even a whole year later, you're like, it makes sense. But in the moment, it never feels like it makes sense.

Ashley: Never.

Erica: You know? It always feels like that injustice or the wrong decision. And, you know, I'm a big believer that, like, it always works out. Like, I've survived a 100% of my bad days and, you know, sometimes things suck, but here I

Ashley: still am.

Erica: But it is so hard to see that in the moment. Do you have any, like, words of Ashley wisdom to give to somebody who is living in that moment? Because I don't know that everybody else is gonna be up against Serena Williams.

Ashley: Well, you don't know that you are. Right? I mean, I just you are. I trust you. I promise.

Ashley: You're always up against Serena Williams. And, I think there's and especially for job seekers. Now when I look for people for my team, hundreds, hundreds of people apply. And I think 90% of them could do the job well, but I can only interview half of them maybe or 20%. So there's a huge swath of people that are inevitably thinking, this doesn't make any sense.

Ashley: I would be perfect for this job. This would be great for me. And I think it's important to have a sense of the reasons you're not getting something sometimes have absolutely nothing to do with you. You may be the absolute perfect person, but nobody ever looks at your resume even because there are a thousand people who believe that they are as qualified as you. And some of that, like, you're never gonna understand what the other side is, but it I do think it's really important to keep some perspective because you can't let it affect your self confidence.

Ashley: And in something like, you know, pursuing opportunities, whether it's a job or, having a book published or, I put people come up to me all the time and say like, oh my gosh. I would love to give a TEDx. How did you do that? Well, I gotta tell you, I applied for TEDx's. That's how I did it.

Ashley: And I knew that was what I wanted to do, and I had a singular focus. I had the opportunity to meet with someone who, had judged my application on, like, a really big city one. So it's the Chicago TEDx. And, I had gotten past the first level. And so I was I sort of jokingly said, oh, I think you your committee must have, seen my application, but in the end, I was not accepted.

Ashley: Oh, no. I remember you. They were looking for a very specific demographic to round out their to round out their team, and Susie White lady talking about being a suburban mom didn't fit. And you know what? That's, like, okay.

Ashley: I respect that. Yeah. But you just have to keep the perspective. Otherwise, you lose the ability to keep taking at bats. And the most important thing is that you keep taking the chances.

Ashley: You have to keep putting yourself forward or you just don't have a statistical likelihood of getting much to happen. So I think that's, yeah, I think that's it.

Erica: Well, I love that too because it reminds you that it's not always about you. Right? So often when we get that rejection right? Okay. My story wasn't good enough.

Erica: My pitch wasn't good enough. This wasn't good enough. I wasn't good enough. When really it had nothing to do with you. It had everything to do with they were looking for a very specific type of person, a demographic to fill that and round it out, and yours didn't fit.

Erica: It wasn't it wasn't great. It just didn't fit that moment in time. Right. So I think it's a really good reminder for people to think that through when they're not getting the jobs or the promotions or moving forward in life. Well, Ashley, as we round this all out, one of my favorite questions that I love to ask everybody is looking back, you know, over your career, you're bouncing back and forth between, you know, living in the apartment, coming home to your family, and then creating your business and sticky floors.

Erica: Right? Imposter perfectionism. What is the one piece of advice that you would give the Ashley from the beginning of this story?

Ashley: Oh, sweet baby Ashley. First of all, she was so skinny. I wish she had known how skinny she was. She was very, very skinny.

Erica: That's solid advice. Right?

Ashley: So I think I would have, I would have urged baby Ashley to take even more chances. There are things in my life that I'm really glad that I said yes to and even more that I put myself forward for. And I think I would step it up by about ten. I think I would put myself forward for about ten times the amount of opportunities. And I put I have to tell you, I put myself forward for a lot.

Ashley: Again, channeling my inner mediocre white man, but that's where all the magic comes from. And if you're able to ignore the rejection and the and the, how personally that feels, you just get all sorts of, opportunities to do really truly amazing things.

Erica: Love it. Well, thank you so much for your time, for your wisdom, and your insights, and most of all your stories because you have some amazing ones. I will be linking your book, executive motherhood, in the bio along with your, website and your LinkedIn. Is there anywhere else people can find you if they are looking for you?

Ashley: Oh my goodness. Well, you can always find me at, myva.rocks. Erica, thank you so much for having me. It has been a true pleasure.

Erica: Oh, it's been so fun.