Erica: Hey, girl. By now, you know I have Her Collective, my online community for ambitious women who are done doing it alone. Her Collective is for the women who are smart, capable, and driven, but they find themselves stuck on the sticky floors like self doubt, burnout, and waiting for permission that quite honestly never comes. Inside HER, you get more than motivation. You get real support, real strategies, and real momentum.

Erica: We work on things like clarifying what you want now and what's coming next, building confidence without burning yourself out, navigating hard conversations, career moves, and leadership moments with clarity, and surrounding yourself with women who actually get it. This isn't about hustling harder. It's about moving intentionally with the right tools and the right people in your corner. If you're ready to stop spinning, start choosing yourself, and build a career in life that actually feels aligned, I'd love to welcome you inside her collective. You can learn more and join us at www.joinhercollective.com.

Erica: Because honestly, girl, you were never meant to do this alone. Have you ever wondered how some women manage to redefine the rules of success in the corporate world, breaking through barriers and rewriting the playbook for professional achievements? Y'all, we are living in a world that was built by men for men. And when we show up to the doors of corporate America, we wonder why their ways of working don't work for us? Today, thought leader and all around kickass woman, Randi Braun, is joining me, and we are going to uncover Randi's transformative approach to leadership.

Erica: Learn how to break free from the cycle of seeking external validation and discover how to redefine success in a way that's authentic and personally fulfilling. Prepare to be inspired and empowered as we unravel the secrets to a more fulfilling career and personal life. Today's guest is The Wall Street Journal's best selling author of the book, Something Major, The New Playbook for Women at Work. She has coached leaders and their teams across Fortune 500, government, and just about every industry out there.

Erica: She is a thought leader who has been featured by CNBC, The Washington Post, Forbes, and more. She's a speaker. She's a wife. She's a mom, and she is here today to talk to us all about the new playbook and to share her sticky floor. So, Randy, how are you?

Erica: We're here together finally.

Randi: I'm so excited that we're doing this. You always host the best conversations. I'm so honored to be on the pot.

Erica: Oh, it's gonna be so great. Well, let's just dive right in. I'd love to hear more about you personally and professionally. Fill me in. Who is Randi?

Randi: Absolutely. I joke all the time to people. Like, I was the accidental coach and the reluctant entrepreneur. I started my women's leadership firm, Something Major. Four years ago, I went full time.

Randi: I was doing it part time before that, and I just fell in love with this work. And so I spent time helping women think about how they can write new rules to feel successful in the workplace. So professionally, that means I I wrote this book that you shouted out. I do coaching and retreats. When I'm not working, as you mentioned, I am married to my longtime partner.

Randi: I have two little kids. And, honestly, like, so much of my life is my work. I talk very openly in my book about the things that I've struggled with, the things that my clients struggle with, And I'm just so excited to have this conversation. I think we just like and, Erica, your podcast does such a good job with this. Like, we need to just keep keeping it real about, like, how high performing women can not just crush it at work, but not feel crushed in the process.

Randi: So I'm super excited to have the conversation with you today.

Erica: Oh my gosh. I love this keep keeping it real because that has been, I think, one of the biggest sticky floors that I've struggled with in the past is just thinking that everyone else has their stuff together, and why am I the only one that is struggling with all of these things? But the more we talk about it, the more we recognize that, no, we're all just struggling with this, trying to do the best that we can while being successful and, you know, having it all, whatever it all looks like for you. So I love this concept. Tell me a little bit more about your book and the the new playbook for women because I am here for this.

Randi: Yeah. So, basically, like, I got really interested in writing this book based on, like, a chance conversation that I had with a woman in the middle of deep COVID. And, Erica, like, she had done everything right. Like, she had taken all the advice, gotten all the mentors, like, gone to Harvard for graduate school, and she was stepping into this kind of apex moment leadership role at this very big global company that you and your listeners definitely know. When we were on the phone on this, like, very cold January morning as, like, she's just kind of getting settled into the role, and she just confesses into the phone to me, Erica.

Randi: She's like, I just have no desire. I don't even remember the last time I was in the mood. And she wasn't talking about, like, that thing. She was talking about work. Kind of it was a lipo moment for me because I think we've all felt that way.

Randi: It's like there's so much written about thriving. There's so much written about burnout. And I didn't feel like there was anything written, Erica, about, like, this middle ground that she was experiencing. Where, like, we kind of end up with this case of what I call low work libido. Like, you've just, like, you've, like, lost the passion for it.

Randi: Like, you know, it's just, like, it feels stale. And I was like, okay. Well, there's no little blue pill for this. So it got me really curious about, like, where do we need to redefine the rules of success so that women cannot just feel successful, right, in terms of the external metrics, but also enjoy their lives? And so my book looks, Erica, at 10 core competencies that I want all women to feel empowered to write a new playbook on at work, to feel like we can thrive and enjoy our success, and really, like, inspire not just our happiness, but our career longevity, to be able to play the long game with sustainable habits that make us successful today and keep us in the game tomorrow.

Erica: That is so key because how many women just get to this peak. They've checked all the boxes in so many places. They've climbed the corporate ladder even and are very successful, but then they look around and they're like, what am I even doing here?

Randi: I describe it, Erica, as, like, all these women who have, like, you know, like, rocks scrambled their way to the top of the mountain, like, white knuckled, like, given up everything to survive. And then they get to the summit, and they're like, I don't even know if I like the view. And I don't know if you've ever gone hiking, but it's like by the way, the walk down the mountain is even more challenging than getting up. And, Erica, like, to me, one of the most troubling things that I'm seeing is we're seeing a lot of women leave their careers in their forties, their fifties, their sixties. And it's not that I judge anybody's decision to leave.

Randi: It's more just, like, what I worry about is that, like, women feel resigned to the fact that, like, they don't have choices. Like, they feel like it they either have to go the way that they've always been going or they can't stay in the game. And when I think about the things that women have to offer in terms of innovation, in terms of diversifying the leadership pipeline, in terms of changing the dynamics on women in boards, closing the gender pay gap, not to mention your own personal goals. Right? Like, every time a woman leaves the workplace, like, she's living leaving hundreds of thousands, if not millions, with compound interest of, like, four zero one k savings potential that could be accrued behind.

Randi: And so, like, these are the things that I think about when I think about, like, women being successful outside of work as well. So it's it's for the micro of our own decisions. It's the macro of the cultural ripples. And again, I'm not putting that, Erica, on any woman who leaves the workforce. I just want us to have a more holistic conversation about, like, hey.

Randi: This is a trend we need to get, like, more curious about.

Erica: Yeah. Well and I think we're in such a unique time period where we are a generation of women who were told that we could have it all, do it all, and be it all. Right? But what we heard was that we had to be everything, and we had to do everything. And we just took on more and more and more.

Erica: And, of course, there's all these, like, societal expectations and, you know, the gender roles that that we all struggle with. Right? And we all are trying to find this equilibrium and this balance, but that is why we need this new way of work is because we should be able to feel like we have it all and are doing the things we wanna be doing and the things that light us up, but we just don't.

Randi: And I think of this quote from RBG, Ruth Bader, the late, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and I quote it in my book. You know, she says, you can have it all, but you can't have it all at once. And she goes on in the longer version of the quote to talk about, like, part of your ambition, part of your dreams is almost being able to, like, have the patience to, like, sequence and have times where you lean in and lean out. And I think, Arc, I know you have so much to talk about today, but just one other fine point I'd put on this is, you know, I think so many times, we think that, like, the balance of having it all needs to happen, like, on a very short term. Right?

Randi: Like, it is my life balanced, like, in this week? Did I get, like, self care and go to the parent teacher conference and kill the meeting? And I think sometimes we forget that, like, there are just seasons in life. Like, for example, last year, I was on a book tour, and the expect and running my business at the same time. And the expectations that I could have for, like, showing up for my family in a, quote, unquote, balanced way like, we all held hands around it as a family.

Randi: Like, mom was gonna be on the road about, a lot. And I was like, okay. Like, that's just not gonna be, like, a weekly, quote, unquote, balance for me. But what I ended up doing was taking the summer as, like, this mini sabbatical. Right?

Randi: And, like, really reinventing on my own terms. Like, walking my own walk of new writing new rules. Like, okay. Like, that's my balance. Was, like, push hard, hard, hard for six months.

Randi: Enjoy the downtime when I have it, really be protective of it, and knowing that, like, there was gonna be a lot of, like, making up for quality time with my kids over the summer. Just communicating that so that we're all sharing the same expectations.

Erica: The communication piece is so key, especially when you have little human beings at home that you are responsible for. Yes. So, Reedy, I wanna shift the gears, and I wanna talk about sticky floors. And I feel like these sticky floors, they always show up especially with high achieving women, especially with high achieving women who have left their corporate career and are doing big things in their own career, and it's those women who've identified those sticky floors. So talk to me about your sticky floors.

Randi: I think for me, like, it it's so obvious. Like, for me, my sticky floor was really, like, getting over my legitimate, like, addiction to external validation. My need to be validated by other people to feel successful and satisfied in my work. And I feel like, like, Erica, like every addict, I needed to hit my own rock bottom before I could come up and change my life. And for me, that happened years ago in my corporate life.

Randi: I worked in sales for many years. I was really close with my boss. And when I came back from my first maternity leave, things just took, like, a very, like, weird and dark turn out of nowhere. And one day, we're sitting in her office, like, doing a literal, like, sales pipeline review. And out of nowhere, like, she just says to me she's like, you are so inauthentic, and I find it absolutely grating.

Randi: Erica, like, you're a coach. I'm a coach. Like, file under, like, some of the worst feedback that could ever be delivered to a person. Like, it's personal. It's not about work.

Randi: It's it's a characterization about your personality. It's not specific in any way. Like, I was like, what? Like, we're talking about, like, a like, a contract. Like, what what is going on here?

Randi: And I will never forget. It's, like, one of those things, like like, truly, like, it was like a blackout moment where I don't really remember how we finished the meeting. I know that we sat in her office for about another twenty minutes and went through the rest of the pipeline. But I just remember going through the glass doors out of her office and, like, basically, like, running to the elevator bank and, like, smashing the elevator button. When going down the elevator, we live we worked in this huge office building where, like, the whole building was the size of an entire city block.

Randi: When I'm practically just sprinting through the lobby because I don't wanna cry in front of anyone, I, like, scan my key fob and enter, like, this tiny little dungeon that qualified as our office gym. And I bolt into the women's locker room, grab a towel, and I just sobs those tears that we all know that are like those, like, white hot tears. Right? The kind where if you don't let them out, they are going to truly explode. And I was like, wow.

Randi: Because I was like, to call me inauthentic, like, I'm actually a very quirky person. Right? Like, I see the world kind of a different way. I talk about the world kind of a different way. Funny Funny enough, like, in my entrepreneurial journey, that's, like, really served me.

Randi: Like, it accidentally built my brand, right, as having this unique voice. But I was always that person before this. And I was just like it was so important to me to be validated by you with the fact that, like, you don't see me as an authentic person. I am exhausted from trying to contort my body to be the square peg of someone else's round hole. So, like, that's my sticky floor and, like, that was, like, my rock bottom for being, like, I just can't live like this anymore.

Erica: That speaks to me on so many levels because I had that exact moment in corporate where I got a type of feedback very similar to that. And, again, blackout city after that. It's just like, how quickly can I get out of here looking professional at still keeping up the facade of like, okay? I can take that feedback fine because I'm a big strong corporate woman and then literally breaking down into tears and into my car. Right?

Erica: But my question for you is, so you you receive this, Changing that need, that need of validation is not something that happens overnight. So what did you do to kinda work through that?

Randi: Well, it got me, like, curious about a few things. Right? So, like, the first was, like, how can I go on from here? And I think there was, like, something really freeing of releasing from the fact that, like, oh, actually, like, no matter what I do like, Erica, I was so successful. And that was, like, kind of the joy of working in sales.

Randi: It's, like, it's so quantitative. Like, I don't know, like, if you, like, ride a Peloton or any of your leader any of your listeners ride a Peloton. But, like, the original leaderboard that I'm aware of was in Salesforce. And, Erica, in our corporate offices, we used to have these giant flat screen TV. It is like back in the day, by the way, when, like, giant flat screen TVs were like an oala factor.

Randi: And they would have our Salesforce leaderboard on them, which showed Erica, like, how we were doing in relation to our quota and to the other people on our team at any given moment in time. Like, if you wanna talk about, like, like, for someone like me, like, oh my god. It, like, just, like it played off all my worst instincts. Right? And so I was like, okay.

Randi: Wait. So, like, already I'm in this environment that really cultivates this. But, like, actually, like, it was this freeing moment of, like, okay. Like, I am never gonna convince her. But here I am being so successful, the leaderboard doesn't lie.

Randi: And I'm, like, singing for my supper. I was like, something is really, really broken here. What I started to do, Erica, was, like, I didn't have any epiphanies in that moment, so I just started getting curious. And what I realized was, like, you know, this idea of old rules, new rules. I was like, that's really interesting because this is almost like the moment where that idea is born for me, which would become my book years and years later.

Randi: It's like, okay. Like, I've been taught so many times in organizations, especially as a woman, and I think you can probably relate to this, of, like, seek feedback. Seek constructive criticism. And what I learned was that, like, external voices were more important than my internal voice. What I learned was that, like, I should take feedback as an immutable truth.

Randi: In fact, Erica, before this company, I literally worked in another company where one of our corporate values was sprint to criticism. So it was just like, this is not working. And so I got curious about, like, okay. Like, what do I need this for? What's true?

Randi: How can I move forward? Who's a reliable narrator? Who has my back? So, like, since then, I've developed more tools, like, for myself, and now I share them with others. But those are some of the things in the moment I started to get curious about.

Erica: Do you ever find yourself slipping back into that sticky floor where you are seeking the validation of others? Hey there, listeners. If you have ever felt like you're stuck in a place, held back by self doubt, perfectionism, or that pesky inner critic, you're not alone. We all face those sticky floors that keep us from reaching the heights we dream of. But guess what?

Erica: It's time to shatter those limiting beliefs and toxic behaviors to uncover infinite possibilities. My book, Glassy Leads and Sticky Floors, is your ultimate guide to smashing through barriers, overcoming limiting beliefs, and stepping into your full potential. This book has been endorsed by none other than the great Mel Robbins, best selling author and motivational powerhouse. It's also been featured in Success Magazine, so you know it's packed with insights that work. Inside, you'll find real life sticky floor stories, practical strategies to help you navigate your own sticky floor moments, and a whole lot of inspiration to keep you climbing.

Erica: This isn't just a book. It's your roadmap to success, confidence, and freedom. Grab your copy of Glass Ceilings and Sticky Floors today at www.ericaandersonrooney.com. Whether you're in the boardroom, the classroom, or just starting out, this book is for you because no one, and I mean no one, deserves to stay stuck, no one deserves to feel small, and you have glass ceilings to shatter. Let's do this.

Randi: It's interesting. It's like, I almost feel like and this is why I really compare this to an addiction. And I don't say that to minimize, like, anybody else's struggle with, like, a real legitimate addiction, like drugs or alcohol or something like that. So I I just wanna say that to be clear. But it it's like what I know of addiction, it's almost like I fear the relapse with such an incredible intense anxiety.

Randi: And I'll tell you, Erica, for me, one of the things that was both, like, a growth and, like, a place of a lot of anxiety was, like, what's it gonna be like when this book comes into the world? Because it's, like, an extremely public exercise of showcasing your work. And if you are launching a book correctly and the book is good, there should be, like, a lot of buzz. And that's kind of, like, just how the process happens. And I was like, okay.

Randi: I did, like, a lot of work going into the release of my book of, like, how can I feel confident about this on my own terms? I did a lot of prep work. Like, how am I gonna brace myself for reading the first bad review that comes in even though most of the reviews were good? And I can tell you more about that. But it's interesting because releasing the book kinda really actually even showed me how far I've come.

Randi: Because the proudest I really felt of this book, Erica, was the night before it was released. I got together with a bunch of my girlfriends, And we kind of celebrated not that the book was coming out, but they had kind of been there all along in the process. And as we opened the champagne, I said, you know, what makes this so special is, like, this is the last night that the book will just be a success on my terms. Like, anything else is gravy, but I'm, like, doing this tonight to prove to myself how far I've come to celebrate that, like, just getting here is really what is enough for me.

Erica: So did you even read the bad reviews? Because I ask this because I see so many public figures, and they're like, I can't touch it because I suck myself right down into that hole. So tell me your strategy.

Randi: I read one. So let me tell you how I trade for this. So it's like a few weeks before my book comes out. We've, like, already started to get, like, a few, like, drips and drabs reviews. And usually the ones that come in early are really positive.

Randi: So but, basically, what happened was I don't know why this idea came to me. But I was like, okay, let me look at like I'm looking at my bookshelf over here, like three books I absolutely love. I think they're three of like the best books I've read recently in my genre. And I'm gonna go on Goodreads and see how they did. Not compare myself to them.

Randi: But what I did was I went and I read all the one star and two star reviews. When it wasn't like a schadenfreude thing, it was the complete opposite. I was like, wow. People are really, like no offense. I was like, people are, like, dumb if they think this book gets one star.

Randi: People are, like, that's ridiculous that they get two stars. Right? And so I was like, okay. Well, this book I really admire. Like, I'm looking at Playing Big by Tar more.

Randi: It's like, I think it's one of the best books that's ever been written in the in the genre for women's leadership development. And I was like, if you don't love this book, then, like, you and I just don't share the same taste in life. And so it kinda goes back, Erica, to, like, what I've come to believe, which is, like, I have three truths about feedback, which has really helped me kind of untether from external validation. One is that feedback tells us a lot more about the feedback givers, preferences, priorities, values, and biases, by the way, oftentimes than it does about us. Two, feedback is subjective.

Randi: It is not an immutable truth. And number three is that feedback is a snapshot of a data point in time. Right? Like, it's not like a characterization like my boss said to me in her office that day about, like, how I am an inauthentic person. It is a snapshot of your relationship to another stakeholder and a situation in a moment in time.

Randi: And so I think that, like, really remembering that has helped me take the best of feedback when I get it. And then also, like, unhook from feedback when I don't think the person has my best interest at heart. Or, Erica, one other thing I'll share with you. This really surprises people. My spouse did not read my book until it was in print.

Randi: And that's because they were not the intended audience for this. And people were like, how could your spouse not read your book? And I was like, because they are not the intended audience, and their feedback will tell me about their perspective. But I know myself, and I really think highly of my spouse's feedback. So I just don't even wanna hear anything about it until it's a finished product.

Erica: Yep. No. That makes great sense to me. I'm actually taking notes for when my book comes out because my husband has not read my book either, and I'm like, we're gonna go that route.

Randi: I had one family member read my book before it came out. It was my sister-in-law, and that's because she's a literal professional writer.

Erica: So, Randy, I've gotta ask you. This seeking the external validation, I think that is something that is so common amongst high achievers of all kinds because that is what has gotten us to be so successful. Right? The hustle, the grind, blending in with other people and kinda twisting ourselves into, you know, the molds that they deem are successful. And, I mean, it works.

Erica: Right? That's why we do it, but it also feels good. So what piece of advice would you give somebody maybe who's earlier in their career, who doesn't have the privilege of, you know, years and years of taking feedback and and all of that? What piece of advice would you give them to kinda navigate that sticky floor?

Randi: If you'll indulge me, I would give them two pieces of advice.

Erica: I will indulge you all day long.

Randi: So the first is to have a little bit of perspective and just kind of, like, take yourself out of this being about you. This is actually more of a sociological phenomenon than, you know, like, it is about you. Like, no disrespect to Taylor Swift. I just ran a workshop about, like, all these leadership lessons that we can take from her. But she actually, I believe, got it wrong when she said, like, we're the problem.

Randi: It's me. Most of the time, it's not the problem. You're not the problem. It's you. And and so, like, researchers in the field of psychology, Erica, you might be familiar with this, have studied this phenomenon called the good girl curse, where girls are socialized in a way where a lot of our value comes from being seen as proper and taking up the right amount of space, in our society.

Randi: And so, like, that's how we're socialized. If you throw into that complexities, like, coming from a marginalized community, having some kind of intersectional identity, the rules about how you must fit in in a world that wasn't designed for your success really only turn up the volume on that dynamic. Right? Which creates this imposter syndrome phenomenon, which, again, research shows us, like, imposter syndrome is actually, like, our internalization of the systemic bias. And so, like, the first piece of advice would be, like, to take a deep breath, have some perspective, and know that, like, what you're experiencing has to do with our communal socialization.

Randi: It's not a defect in who you are. And that, on one hand, sucks. Like, I think of my daughter who's on the other side of this door, and I want a better world for her. And I am bullish about where we're going. So I'll say, like, one, have the perspective.

Randi: Two is I encourage people to think about feedback, Erica, as that data point. And let me elaborate on that a little bit. Like, imagine that every single piece of of feedback you got was like a data point. Every email remember, there's so many ways we get feedback. It's not just the formal conversations that we have with people.

Randi: It's the way people respond to us. It's the way people don't respond to us. It's an email. It's a, you know, job well done kind of a thing. Imagine every single piece of feedback you got was plotted like data on a graph.

Randi: And I encourage you to step back and say, like, where's the trend line? Is the trend line that, like, most of the time I'm confident? Is the trend line that people can count on me? Is the trend line that these are my strengths? And I say to people all the time.

Randi: I'm like, think about that one piece of really tough feedback. Is it a trend line moment or an outlier? Because in business Erica, you and I both worked in corporate businesses. Now we we run our own businesses. Whether I'm in my entrepreneurial life, my corporate life, never in a million years would I make a significant decision based on an outlier in the data.

Randi: I would get curious about the outlier. Right? Like, outliers often tell stories. I get curious about the story behind the outlier, but never in a million years if I was looking at a traditional business problem would I ever make a huge decision or characterization based on the outlier. And so I encourage women to, like, put on their business brain and to think like that.

Randi: And the final thing I'll just remind people, is that research also shows us, Erica, that high performers take negative feedback harder. So for example, for the average performer, it takes four pieces of positive feedback to neutralize a single bad piece of feedback. For the high performer, it takes six six pieces of positive feedback. So Like, if you've ever felt like negative feedback is stickier inside your brain, again, like, you're not the problem. It's not you.

Randi: Like, this is what the research shows. With that said, as one of my clients says, like, we don't wanna throw away the the wine with the corn. There's always something we can learn from the feedback. But I'll just pause there because I think that we need to have better tools to parse the feedback so that we can truly use it to be constructive and not bully ourselves with it.

Erica: Well and I'm a huge believer that knowledge is power. And just knowing that I'm a high achiever, it's going to take me six pieces of positive feedback to kind of balance we're talking about balance again, to balance it all out, then I at least have that understanding, and I might be a little bit kinder to myself. So I love that. I think it's great. But what I wanna tell everybody here before I ask you my last question is in the spirit of keeping it real, right, and being all Randy and I both got kids on the other side of our door.

Erica: We came in. We had a game plan. We said we're gonna get it done in thirty minutes because that is what we do. And guess what? We did it.

Erica: But before I let you go, I need to know where can we find you, how can we buy your book, all of that good stuff.

Randi: Okay. I'll tell you. The first is that you can buy my book, Something Major, the new playbook for women at work on Amazon. Erica, it's just out in paperback, so it's even more accessible than ever. And the second place you can find me is social media.

Randi: So find me on LinkedIn. I'm Randy with an I, Braun. On Instagram, I'm something major coaching. And then lastly, Erica, my website, somethingmajorcoaching.com, has so many free resources. I do not make you give me my email address.

Randi: You can watch for free a workshop on quieting your inner critic. You can read articles about perfectionism and self care. You can learn about events that we're running. So please hang out with me on somethingmajorcoaching.com or find me on social media, Randy with an I on. Erica, this was so great.

Randi: Thank you so much for having me.

Erica: I love it. It's such an amazing conversation, and thank you for all of those gems. It is just gold nugget upon gold nugget. And that's a wrap for today's episode. A huge thank you to our extraordinary guest, Randi Braun, who has not only shared her journey, but has also opened our eyes to the vital shift from seeking external validation to embracing our own definition of success.

Erica: Now as we say goodbye today, remember that your professional journey is uniquely yours. It is not about climbing the ladder, but it's also about creating a ladder that is true to who you are. Now if today's conversation resonated with you, I wanna know. I wanna hear your thoughts. Join the discussion.

Erica: Leave me a comment. Send me a message on LinkedIn, a DM, on Instagram, and then also share this episode with someone who might benefit from it. You never know when this message is gonna land in the hands of the person who needs to hear it the most. But one last thing before you go, it's time to stop putting a ceiling on what's possible, and it's time to start breaking through them.