Erica: Y'all are gonna be so excited about the woman on today's show, because for decades, women have been trying to perform inside systems that were never designed for them. And the cost shows up everywhere, in misdiagnosed symptoms, in burnout that gets labeled as a mindset problem, in leadership cultures that quietly work against the female nervous system. This isn't a motivation issue, it's a design flaw.

Erica: Now y'all, we've got Kathryn Spears, who is a neurosomatic practitioner, applied neurology specialist, and an international speaker. She works at the intersection of neuroscience, women's leadership, and organizational performance, helping close the gender data gap and rebuild how women's capacity is actually supported. Because when you understand the female nervous system, everything changes. Decision making sharpens, resilience stabilizes, and performance actually becomes sustainable.

Erica: So y'all, without further ado, let's welcome Kathryn Spears. Kathryn, welcome to the podcast. How are you?

Kathryn: I am doing awesome. Erica, thank you so much for having me. I am so excited for this conversation today.

Erica: Me too. And y'all, before we clicked record, she is in Nova Scotia, and I was like, wow, this feels so exotic. And this whole concept of the female nervous system has me so excited. So before we dive in, give me a little background. What led you to this moment?

Kathryn: So many things, but mostly lived experience. I started with an undergrad in psychology, and then I jumped right into the fast paced startup realm across tons of various industries, from skin care to tech, on both brand and agency side, and was absolutely a certified hustler. I burned myself to the ground time and time again until finally, after I had my two kids, COVID hit. I kind of just had this period of time where I was like, what am I actually doing and why? And then I was late diagnosed ADHD. So many dots were connecting. And I was like, I've always had this yearning to help, to support, to make change. And I'm like, this is it. We need to change the game for women in corporate, for women in leadership roles. And so now I really work at the intersection of the state of the female nervous system and strategy, really blending my past life and my present life to create change at an organizational and cultural level.

Erica: This is incredible. How old are your kids?

Kathryn: My oldest just turned 14, and my youngest is about to be 10.

Erica: What I loved is that you said you got here from your lived experience. I did a few sessions with an intuitive channeler, and the one thing she said to me was, you can't rush this, because in order to teach it, you have to live it. At the time, it didn't make any sense. And then you go through it, and all of a sudden it clicks. So when you say lived experience, what is one of those pivotal stories that comes to mind?

Kathryn: Looking back, there was a few. First is going back early from maternity leave and sacrificing my sacred time with my second born to go back to work. Also rocking my kids to sleep and incessantly checking my emails because, you know, the world was on fire, but actually it wasn't. But I think the most pivotal moment was when I was leading a team for a fast paced tech agency, and burnout started to become a really big buzzword. A lot of team members were burning out or leaving, and churn was high. They brought in a mental health practitioner, and they had us sit in silence on Zoom for two minutes. That two minutes of silence felt like an entire eternity. And in that moment, I was like, something is wrong. Something has to change here, because this is not okay, to have to slow down for two minutes and be so uncomfortable that I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I was like, this is the moment.

Erica: Had you been diagnosed with the ADHD yet too?

Kathryn: No, so it's definitely twofold.

Erica: I can see all of that, and I think a lot of women who are our age, who are high performers, the hustle and some of the gifts that come with ADHD really help you get there. But then you can't keep running on that hamster wheel, and all of a sudden you're super stressed out, you're burned out, you don't know how to stop the hustle, and you just keep going until you hit the wall.

Kathryn: Exactly. What's the most fascinating part about it all is that when I was at work, I was on. I masked the burnout so well. I was still the hype girl, still performing, still crushing my deadlines, still leading a team, showing up to board meetings, doing all the things. And then at the end of the day, I would just be done. I had nothing left to give to my kids. I was highly anxious. My daughter has ADHD, my son is highly sensitive with high anxiety. I felt like a failure, like I was giving 60% everywhere. I was short fused, disconnected, numbing and coping with food and Netflix, but really just trying to keep it between the ditches. But that was my baseline, and to me that was normal. It's so normalized and glorified that I was like, this is what I'm supposed to be doing, this is what it's like for everyone else.

Erica: Everyone else is struggling, right? Because their Instagrams and Facebooks all show them thriving.

Kathryn: Exactly. And then we talk about radical candor and vulnerability, and we read the Dare to Leads. We've read the books, made the promises, gone to the retreats, and then when you go back to the boardroom, nothing is changing. This is where the intersection of state and strategy really comes into play, because those are patterns, how we're patterned to respond in those situations, and that's why we keep defaulting, because it's such a well worn subconscious path.

Erica: Let's talk about this intersection. We're gonna hit the first street, the State Street, the physical state or nervous system. You specialize in the female nervous system. Talk about why honing in on the fact that it's female is so important, and give me all the goods.

Kathryn: First things first, the male nervous system and the female nervous system are operationally different and run off different hormones. The male nervous system resets each day and runs on predominantly dopamine. The female nervous system is cyclical, through our 28 day cycle, and neurobiologically shifts throughout that period, and is predominantly regulated through oxytocin. Oxytocin is depleted by dopamine. So when we're hustling and getting those quick fix hits with dopamine, we're actually depleting our number one hormone for regulation. So what we end up doing as women is working against ourselves 24/7, 365, and no wonder we're so exhausted. The shifts to resource ourselves are subtle, and a lot of it comes from play and creativity, which we're the first things to abandon when we're hustling.

Erica: Okay, so to make sure I have this straight, oxytocin is depleted by dopamine, and oxytocin is what we run on?

Kathryn: It's a coronary nervous system regulator.

Erica: But we're also constantly chasing dopamine hits with food and booze and Netflix and TikTok. How do we make that transition, how do we keep the oxytocin we need?

Kathryn: It's mainly through resourcing and taking time for joy and pleasure. One of the biggest things about high performers is we often have perfectionism, and our stick is always moving, always being raised. We hit one big thing and we're like, let's do the next thing. That's when it's detrimental, because we aren't taking a moment to actually feel and experience the joy or the win. We're almost performing it so well to ourselves that we don't even know it.

Erica: This is such a timely conversation. I was talking with my podcast producer this morning, and I put something on social media because I've been very absent, and March is my busiest month, women's history month, South by Southwest, my kids' spring break, and I did this unknowingly, I stepped back because I don't have more to give. Now that you're explaining the science, the celebrating the wins, that's exactly what I was doing.

Kathryn: It is. And it doesn't even have to be a big thing. It can literally just be smelling your coffee and being like, that smells really good.

Erica: One thing you said before we hit record is that a lot of systems aren't designed with women in mind. Where does that show up outside of the cycle and the daily? Is there more science that would help us understand?

Kathryn: I think a big one is people pleasing. Women from a gender perspective are expected to perform, sit still, be quiet, don't be too big, don't take up too much space, but take up a little bit. Those societal expectations reinforce how this shows up behaviorally in stress responses in women, especially in leadership. You want the raise, but you don't want to demand too much. We're constantly diminishing or shrinking ourselves to fit a paradigm that shouldn't exist anymore. So how do we keep doing it in a way that isn't hustling us into the ground, but rather meeting that edge with a resourced nervous system to keep dismantling those systems in corporate.

Erica: A lot of our energy and burnout comes from the mental juggle. It's like we're told to lean in but not too far, speak up but not too loudly, be ambitious but not too ambitious. Be seen, but not so seen that you make them uncomfortable. And we're constantly checking ourselves. You said something earlier, keep it between the ditches. I love it. I'm like walking the tightrope, girl, we ain't even keeping it between the ditches, we're walking the tightrope.

Kathryn: Absolutely. Gabor Maté talks about authenticity and the need to connect to other humans. There's this innate human need to connect as a core human need, and authenticity, and those are so often on that tightrope. Am I going to be self expressed and authentic, or am I going to stay connected? There's this fear that if I'm fully self expressed, will I lose the connection? It's like, will I lose my job? There are so many things at play, and we're not consciously thinking about this, it's happening subconsciously, and it is totally running the show. This is where the nervous system comes into play, as protective patterns to keep us connected, because that's a core human need, to our herd, socially.

Erica: I love that you brought up Dr. Gabor Maté. He's one of my favorites, he's got two good books, The Myth of Normal, and one on ADHD called Scattered Minds. Have you read both?

Kathryn: Yes, both of them.

Erica: For anyone listening who constantly feels overwhelmed but is high performing, what is one shift they can make to start supporting their nervous system in a better way?

Kathryn: I would say just acknowledging. Number one shift is the acknowledgment and the uncoupling of it being a personality trait and something that's fixed. So many women have a growth mindset, but when it comes to ourselves and the things that show up, imposter syndrome, inner critic, perfectionism, those feel fixed, and they're not. We can adapt that growth mindset when we understand that they truly are just nervous system patterns. At one time in our life they kept us safe, and it's a mixtape playing in 2026 from 1992 that's no longer relevant. We need to upgrade.

Erica: In my world, we call them sticky floors, the limiting beliefs and toxic behaviors that keep you stuck. In my framework, the SNAP framework, the S stands for stop and notice what's going on in your body. That closely aligns with acknowledging it, because we so quickly move through that, we're certified hustlers out here. There's that book The Body Keeps the Score, your body knows what's up before your brain does. So when you can stop and notice what's going on, you create that pattern interrupt. If they acknowledge it, what can they do next?

Kathryn: For so many, mindset is the default. I tried all of the things, meditation, mindfulness, mindset shifts, but still ended up in the same default patterns. Understanding that this is a subconscious physiological state happening within your body, and being able to interrupt it where it begins, is an incredible next way to evolve that practice. We can do this by working with our visual system, our respiratory system, our vestibular system, our proprioception. They are incredible on the fly state shifters. When we can create a state shift at a physiological level, it indicates to the brain that we aren't actually in a threatening situation. We change the state, and then everything else follows.

Erica: Is one of those exercises where they name five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can smell? Is that something?

Kathryn: Yes, that can absolutely be one of those things.

Erica: Tony Robbins does a lot of jump up and dance things to change your physical state. Is that another great one?

Kathryn: Yeah, that's fantastic.

Erica: Alright girl, we're gonna take a left turn onto the other street of this intersection, the strategy piece. I'm a chief people officer, so from an organizational perspective, what are companies getting wrong when it comes to supporting women's performance and well-being in the workplace?

Kathryn: What organizations don't realize is that when their employees, their leadership, is in a stress response, which comes from fast paced living in 2026, 99.9% of people aren't going to say I'm in a stress response. What ends up happening is areas of the brain, the energy flow is totally different, it deplenishes energy much faster, it sends energy only to the places we need for actual survival. Think if we're in the woods with a bear. That will impact performance tenfold. I'm not just talking burnout, I'm talking about performance and execution. I was consulting on a project with an incredible wellness brand, and there were blind spots all over their pitch deck, because we get into survival and don't even know it, and we miss the critical parts that will skyrocket performance.

Erica: When I think back to my burnout story in corporate, I was almost trying to move faster because it felt like I could never keep up. When you're constantly trying to sprint, you miss so many things, and you can't be an intentional leader. That's what's needed in 2026, leading with intention and authenticity. But when you're moving at the speed of dysregulated hustle, it's impossible. If leaders actually understood and designed for the female nervous system, what do you think would look different, not just for women, but for the entire organization?

Kathryn: Everything. Their bottom line would skyrocket, but we're so stuck in having to hustle to survive. And that's not even considering the physiological impact on each employee, but also the collective. When you have a leader, a CEO, a CMO, operating from that state, it's mirrored across the entire organization, it spreads like a disease, and nobody realizes how rapidly it spreads. I read an interesting stat about how 95% of leaders believe they're self aware, but the studies show only 10 to 15% of them actually are.

Erica: As a chief people officer, that stat is spot on.

Kathryn: It's so bang on. This is where that protective nervous system comes in, that ego, I have to perform, if I don't show up like I know everything and I do everything. It's like, no, all of us are going to continue to expand if we have the openness to actually do that. If we had that lens in this arena, it would change the game. And that's not just for men and women, it's for everyone.

Erica: Do you have any daily rituals or practices that invite more joy and play into your life that anyone listening could easily plug in?

Kathryn: Dancing, shaking it out, music on blast. My very favorite is in my car listening to my 2000s rap hip hop, cranked, with an iced coffee, that is my happy place.

Erica: Last question, best question. I always love the gift of hindsight. When you think back to the Kathryn who was the certified hustler, who was burnt out but always climbing, what piece of advice would you give her today?

Kathryn: Turn down the noise. There's so much noise of what everyone thinks everyone else should do. Understanding that we can speak the language of our own nervous system and break through at the level of our nervous system instead of throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping it sticks. The inner wisdom is within us, but the control and the need to have the answers distorts the clarity that's already within you. So just turn down the noise and get in touch with yourself gently, and trust yourself.

Erica: Where can people find you?

Kathryn: Beyondyourmindset.com is my website, and I'm on LinkedIn as well.