Erica: Hey, girl. By now, you know I have Her Collective, my online community for ambitious women who are done doing it alone. Her Collective is for the women who are smart, capable, and driven, but they find themselves stuck on the sticky floors like self doubt, burnout, and waiting for permission that quite honestly never comes. Inside HER, you get more than motivation. You get real support, real strategies, and real momentum.

Erica: We work on things like clarifying what you want now and what's coming next, building confidence without burning yourself out, navigating hard conversations, career moves, and leadership moments with clarity, and surrounding yourself with women who actually get it. This isn't about hustling harder. It's about moving intentionally with the right tools and the right people in your corner. If you're ready to stop spinning, start choosing yourself, and build a career in life that actually feels aligned, I'd love to welcome you inside her collective. You can learn more and join us at http://www.joinhercollective.com.

Erica: Because honestly, girl, you were never meant to do this alone. Are you sometimes exhausted by all of the things that you should be doing for self care? Do you feel overwhelmed by everything that you think you have to do to feel good? I'm talking about the green smoothies, the meditation, the exercise, and eight hours of sleep. Maybe you're wondering how the hell does anyone fit that in with everything else that we have to be doing.

Erica: Today's guest, Leigh Wager, is going to take us through the process of how to stop stressing over all of those things that we think we should be doing, and let's be real, we probably aren't, and how we can start loving the way we are living. Today's guest is a VP of strategic solutions, my fellow chief sister, which is how we are connected, which is another example of community. But she is here today because she is a hustler by nature and also a health coach whose mission is to empower you to stop stressing over all the things you should be doing, and you probably aren't doing them, and start loving the way you are living. And y'all know I love anything health, wellness, and fitness related, and Leigh's philosophy around it really resonated with me, and I'm pretty sure it's gonna resonate with you. So without further ado, I'm super pumped to welcome my fellow friend in fitness, Leigh Wager.

Erica: Hi, Leigh. How are you?

Leigh: I'm doing well. How are you?

Erica: I am fabulous. So, Leigh, I love to kick off these stories with just, like, what is your come up story? How did we get here? I mean, you've got this amazing job, but then you're also hustling as a health coach. Just give me all the details.

Leigh: Yeah. Absolutely. So I guess a little bit of background. I've always been kind of generally active and fit. I wouldn't say I necessarily followed a plan. I had kinda time on my side. I'd kinda Google a couple things, do whatever is popular, you know, maybe follow an eight week half marathon training plan and do, like, 65% of it. I'd be like, oh, I did the long run. That counts. Right? Cool.

Erica: A training role. Yeah.

Leigh: Exactly. Call it good. I tried to eat healthy, and I failed miserably because at that point in time, I thought eating healthy was, you know, 1,200 calories plus add in exercise, and you're not supposed to eat carbs. And I just couldn't do that for a good reason. I couldn't do that. I, you know, didn't really like strength training because it didn't, you know, burn enough calories. So I was the one that would, like, run to the gym to do a strength training instead of, like, hey, just strength training today, that's okay. But it would, like, generally work.

Leigh: I was young. I had time. It was, like, you know, fine. And then when I got pregnant, I had a great OB. She was like, kinda keep doing what you're doing. Listen to your body. Take it easy if you have to. Here's your red flags to look out for. And so that let me keep doing what I was doing and kinda part luck, part making your own luck of following that in. I had two really easy pregnancies and recoveries. I was active through all of them. But after my daughter was born, who's my first, I realized that what I was doing was absolutely not going to work anymore. There was no chance this was gonna be successful. I had time on maternity leave, but I knew that was temporary. And I was gonna need, you know, something else that had a plan.

Leigh: I was also really nervous about kind of ballooning after being pregnant for nine months and then breastfeeding for, you know, breastfed for eleven months, very part time at the end, but you're still doing all of that. And all of a sudden, you're like, oh my god, my body's mine now. Like, I'm gonna turn into a balloon. What's gonna happen?

Leigh: So I went through and actually found, you know, my own coaches, and it was eye opening, fascinating. But as you can imagine, women, we like to compare ourselves to each other. So I got a lot of the questions of, like, how are you doing it all? How are you doing it all? And one of the things that was really interesting was from the outside, it looked like I was doing it all. You know, I had a job. I had little kids. I was active. I was running. I felt good. But inside, there was actually structure and direction, and it felt easier. It really didn't feel like you were doing it all because it was the things that were important to me, and it was really fun. And so that was really eye opening for me, that difference between it might look and feel like someone's doing it all, but if you find something that really kinda works for the individual, it doesn't have to feel like a lot. It can be fun. It can be the good things and the right things and the things that you want to do.

Leigh: So as you can imagine, that kind of kick started this side hustle from there, when you get people asking you the same question over and over again, you're like, oh, I know the answer to this. So I went down that route, got a health coach certification. I started focusing on pre and postnatal strength training, but very quickly realized that it kind of applied across the board. And so right now I find myself working with women of all ages, whether pregnant moms or not whatsoever. But generally speaking, it's people that are really kinda navigating this lifestyle change and, like, what used to work doesn't. There's this overwhelming feeling of, like, all of the things you have to do that don't feel fun. And I strongly believe that if that's the case, we're kinda looking at it wrong. And it doesn't have to be that complicated. It can be easy. It can be fun, but it takes a little bit of work to kinda find out what that is for you.

Erica: I feel like we got a lot to unpack here. But what I wanted to dive into was, like, that whole thing about comparison. Is that something you see a lot with the women that you work with?

Leigh: Yes. Absolutely. And one of the first things that we do is I have them, like, walk me through what does healthy look like and feel like for you. What is that vision? Because so often in that comparison game, you see, you know, someone else's workout routine or maybe a snippet of it and you think they do it seven days a week and really it's only two. But you see what these other people are doing and you're like, oh, I'm supposed to be doing all of these things. But if you get crystal clear on what does that healthy lifestyle look like and feel like for you and why is that important, it lets you kind of tune out the noise of I don't care what anyone else is doing. Unless it's something that's, oh, I wanna explore that and see how that fits in because I've liked these other things in the past. Great. Use that as inspiration.

Leigh: But doing that comparison game of, you know, what's somebody eating, how much are they running, what's their workout routine, you know, are they doing yoga versus something else, you kinda get to tune that out and focus on what's important to you. And that can be really eye opening for a lot of women of, you know, why is this important to me? What do I want to be doing? Some examples. You know, I worked with one woman whose goal was, hey. I've got really active friends, and I want to be able to just say yes and not, like, be nervous and scared for the week leading up to something. Maybe it's a hike. Maybe it's a bike ride. Like, I wanna be able to say yes to that without being, like, oh, how am I gonna feel? Can I even do this? How miserable is it gonna be? Like, I wanna feel strong and confident to a point that, like, yeah, if my friends are doing it, I can do it as well.

Erica: You said something really eye opening, and I wanna go back to that, which was, what does healthy look like to you? And it's beyond me that I've never even thought of that question before, being that I have this background in health and wellness and how often I talk to people about what does success look like for you, what does wealth look like for you, because let's be real, we all have these aspects of our lives, you know, health, finances, spiritual, and they're all different. And so why are we sitting here looking at the cover of Shape Magazine being like, why don't I look like that person? So that was super insightful, but I kinda wanna dive into this should business because this is an area I struggle. So I'm gonna kinda make you coach me here.

Erica: But I always feel like I should, like, have this, like, very structured fitness routine that's well balanced between cardio and strength, and I should have yoga in there somewhere, and I should be stretching ten minutes a day. How do you break through those thoughts and just kind of accept, I guess, more of what is?

Leigh: Yeah. Great question. So one of the first things to ask is why. Why do you feel like I should?

Erica: Yeah. Oh, that's a good idea.

Leigh: Explore why. Why do you feel that way? And if you did that, what would you feel like? What are the positive things of making that change and getting there and doing all of the things that you should, like, what would you feel like? And if you didn't do that, what would you feel like?

Leigh: And that feeling is really the goal. Are there other ways that you could get there to get that feeling?

Erica: Mhmm.

Leigh: And kind of mark things off? Other things to think about, your example of, you know, I should be doing yoga. I feel similarly, and I dug into why do I feel that way. For me, I don't have a lot of time, so I'm not great at doing my warm ups and cool downs. I'm really consistent with my strength training and running, but I don't do a lot of things. And I'm like, I'm getting older. I'm getting a little creaky. So I was like, hey, yoga is really good for me. I also do a lot. I don't journal and meditate. That's not, I should, maybe.

Erica: I should say it's like next, because every month, I've got this calendar where I map out all the things that I wanna start doing to be a better, more well versed person. And meditation is always on there, and I never do it. Hey there, listeners. If you have ever felt like you're stuck in a place, held back by self doubt, perfectionism, or that pesky inner critic, you're not alone. We all face those sticky floors that keep us from reaching the heights we dream of.

Erica: But guess what? It's time to shatter those limiting beliefs and toxic behaviors to uncover infinite possibilities. My book, Glass Ceilings and Sticky Floors, is your ultimate guide to smashing through barriers, overcoming limiting beliefs, and stepping into your full potential. This book has been endorsed by none other than the great Mel Robbins, best selling author and motivational powerhouse. It's also been featured in Success Magazine, so you know it's packed with insights that work.

Erica: Inside, you'll find real life sticky floor stories, practical strategies to help you navigate your own sticky floor moments, and a whole lot of inspiration to keep you climbing. This isn't just a book. It's your road map to success, confidence, and freedom. Grab your copy of Glass Ceilings and Sticky Floors today at http://www.ericaandersonrooney.com. Whether you're in the boardroom, the classroom, or just starting out, this book is for you, because no one, and I mean no one, deserves to stay stuck, no one deserves to feel small, and you have glass ceilings to shatter.

Erica: Let's do this.

Leigh: Yeah. So, again, things to think about. Like, why is that important? What are the benefits of doing it? What happens if you don't do it? And how could you do it in a way that feels reasonable to start? So going back to the yoga, what I told myself was, like, let me explore with ten minutes a day. But I knew that going to a class was not gonna happen. An hour was not gonna happen, but ten minutes felt doable. So, meditate. What are some ways, you know, there's a lot of breathing techniques that you can do in bed. Like, oh, could that be an interesting thing to say, hey, could I do this for three minutes before I shut my eyes? Or, you know, is once a week for five minutes, is that gonna feel like enough to explore it and get curious? And then you can answer those questions of, I did this. How did I feel? Was it more positive and more aligned with what I wanna feel like? Or was it a waste of time, and that's not beneficial to me? Both of those are fine answers.

Erica: Well, I love the question of, like, how might this look different for me? Because I am not good at just, like, sitting still in a quiet room. And, like, when I tell y'all I have tried everything, like, I've spent a $125 on some stupid meditation ball that was supposed to help me, and I don't even know where it is right now. So that just shows you. But maybe for me, meditation might be going on a walk outside, like, by myself without kids or something, or taking a hot bath, or whatever. But it doesn't have to be whatever it is. What we make of it in our mind is really the message that you're sending.

Leigh: Yeah. And thinking about what are you trying to get out of doing it. Right? Because that goes to that list of all of the things that we should be doing. We have this feeling or this end vision that we're trying to get to. And what we're trying to explore is what are the pieces that support us in getting there that we enjoy, that we wanna keep going, that give us positive, you know, put us in a positive direction. And what are the things that we can let drop? Because, to that first example of how are you doing it all, and you're like, actually, I'm not. Like, it's really easy. Things you don't see me doing anymore, I rarely go to the gym. I don't do spin class. I like it, and every once in a while I'll lay it in there when I want to because I enjoy it, but it's not something I feel like I have to do. I don't meal prep. You know?

Leigh: So there's those things of, like, we're also trying to cut out the noise so that it's not overwhelming and that you can sustain it. So thinking about that why and how does this feel and how does that get me closer to that goal, or has it been a waste of time. And that's fine. I'm not gonna do that one.

Erica: I mean, I love this because it's like, what does healthy look like to you? What does strong look like to you? How might this look different for you? And then what are you trying to get out of it? Because as you're sitting here talking, I'm thinking, what am I trying to get out of meditation? And, like, why is it important? And I'm like, because everybody says it is. Let's go to the old classic saying, like, if everybody's jumping off a bridge, would you do it? And, apparently, my answer with meditation is yes.

Erica: But it's really so important to do that internal work and think about yourself as a unique person in all areas of your life. And, I mean, even for me, as someone who is very fit and loves to work out, I do struggle sometimes with those comparisons and all of the shoulds, because for a long time, I was like, these are all the things you need to do. Thirty minutes of cardio, strength training. You need to eat your greens. And then that list just becomes so overwhelming even for someone who did it for a living. Right? Let alone someone who maybe has never explored it before. So, yeah, I think that's super cool. What are some of the others? So we talked a lot about the comparisons and the shoulds. What are other, like, sticky floors, the limiting beliefs that you see women in health coaching experience a lot?

Leigh: Yeah. Great question. So, again, those comparisons and what you should be doing. And to combat that, very much, like, what's the vision? Why is this important? That's the first thing we start with all the time. The second piece is, oftentimes when we're looking for these changes, when we're looking for support, it's because some sort of setback has happened. That might be an injury, that might be a move, that might be you had kids, that might be work got super busy and you've had these, like, six promotions over the last three years and all of a sudden you're like, oh my goodness, all I do is work. How do I change this? And you feel much further back than where you want to be.

Leigh: And so trying to shift that from a setback to kind of an opportunity to reprioritize, an opportunity to start at the foundations and figure out, go back to that vision and kinda say, hey, where I am today, my stage of life today, what is that vision? What do I want that to look like? That might look different today than when you're, you know, your example of, you know, you used to do this as a profession. You're a personal trainer. Like, those stages of life are very different, and your vision of what's healthy and what you wanna look like are gonna be very different. So kind of taking that and then saying, okay, I have this opportunity to restart from the foundations. What's most important to me, and why do I wanna do that? So that also shifts you from that kind of fixed mindset mentality of, like, all these hard things. I'm starting from scratch. This is really challenging. Two, I have an opportunity to reprioritize and cut out in ways and focus on the good things going forward. So that's a really, really good mindset shift that we focus on pretty early. And then the other piece is really focusing on adding good things in.

Leigh: That's something that's always a moment for my clients, because, again, when you're looking at this kind of health and wellness, there's, like, I have to do all of these things. I have to cut out all of these bad things, and it feels less exciting and more like a chore of things that you know you're investing in yourself. You know what's important. You know I'm gonna do it. I know all these reasons why I should, and it still feels hard. And I don't want to, period. And so adding those good things in also changes that mindset from kind of cutting things out and restricting yourself and putting all of these rules in place to how do I add more good things that I like, that give me energy, that are enjoyable, and I feel like I'm nourishing myself and investing in myself in a positive way. And it makes you much more likely to be successful, want to do the change. I see people go from, like, ugh, at the beginning of a session to, like, oh my god, I'm so excited to do this. I'm, like, gonna go do it right now, which is really fun to leave and, like, feel that way.

Leigh: And so those mindset shifts, again, the changes are small. The changes we're talking about, like, if you're overhauling your life overnight, that's where you get people that go all in on one thing, and then six months later, they're, like, all out on something else. And so those are some really important changes. And then the very final thing is, like, what's one small step that you can take to get closer? And talking about that sticky floor, there's, you know, a lot of different, there's the model of change. There's five different stages of change. You go from precontemplative, which is like you're not ready for change. You're kinda defending your habits. You don't see any benefits of changing. You then go into contemplative, where you're, like, starting to play around with the pros and cons, but you end up having a lot of doubts. You, like, see the positive elements of changing, but you're like, I could never do that. No chance. No way. Then you get into that preparation and determination. That's where you start thinking about a plan. That's where a lot of the I shoulds come in. Okay, I wanna make this change. I'm ready. I'm excited. Here's my list of 50 things that I'm supposed to do. And you just get stuck there. And so getting into action, which is the next stage, is, like, what's one small change that you can make that's going to get you into action and build that momentum there and get you out of that kind of preparation and determination cycle of being stuck there.

Erica: Oh, I love it. One tiny step. Right? So sometimes that might just be putting your shoes on. You don't even have to go out the door today. Just try putting them on today. Sometimes people have to remember that every time you say no to something, you're saying yes to something else. Right? Or vice versa. Every time you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else.

Leigh: Yep. Exactly. And there's a lot of tools that we work through to get there. Some of it's basic education. Like, that's another, you know, talk about sticky floor. Like, basic education is a huge component. We're not gonna go into that here, but, like, very basic education of, like, what can I do? What are my options? There's all these different things out there. Like, what do they mean? How do I navigate all of that? So being able to kinda present research, evidence, what those different things are, make a good decision there. And then the second piece is, again, it's just a lot of question asking. For someone who likes journaling, tons of journal prompts that you could go through to kinda dig into some of this. But some of those, like, one of my favorite questions, especially when people start to get into that kind of all or nothing slide. For example, eating out at restaurants is something that gets people all the time. They're like, I've got this great routine at home, and then I go to a restaurant and, like, it's—

Erica: Like the fries and the milkshake, please.

Leigh: Yeah. Exactly. And three cocktails and a Bloody Mary, and, you know, why not have the crab dip too? And then it makes me feel horrible. And let's say it's Friday night, right, or Thursday night.

Erica: Weekend's trash.

Leigh: Exactly. Exactly. And so instead, it's going back to that. What's one small thing? It's like, what's one thing you could do to make this, you know, more aligned with your goals? And what's one thing you can do to make this worse?

Erica: And the—

Leigh: The beauty of asking that is, a, you're telling yourself, okay, it could be way worse. Like, I'm not that bad. It could be way worse. And there's probably a little thing I can do to make this a little bit better for myself. And then the next most important thing is, great, you did it, enjoy, move on. Back to normal. You don't have to throw everything out the window. So there's lots of little things like that, of kind of navigating those mindset shifts, because it's much easier to say it one on one in a session, and then you're, like, in the action. And so giving those tools and questions to ask yourself throughout the day and out in real life are really valuable.

Erica: Yeah. I once heard about the fresh start effect, and that is why all of us humans love a new week. We love a new year. We love a birthday. Right? Like, it always makes us feel a fresh month, a fresh week. That way that, like, if you mess up on a Thursday, you're like, well, I'll just have to start over again on Monday. And no, because guess what? Like, every meal, every hour, every however you wanna break it down, can be that fresh start, but you've just gotta flip the script again.

Erica: Yeah. Okay. Leigh, you sound fabulous. You've got it all down. But for you, I gotta know, like, what was your sticky floor, your setback? Like, what put all this in place for you? What made it click?

Leigh: Oh, yeah. I was, like, very much stuck in that comparison game. I had this view. Right? I'm, like, nine months pregnant. My first, I got my health tech job. I'm, like, generally, I've had easy pregnancy. I'm, like, cool. I've got this view. I'm gonna be, like, the mom that's got her shit together. Like, I got the job. I'm, like, active. I'm excited. All sorts of, like, I have no idea how to do this. Like, and why does this matter? Is that even reality? And so, really getting stuck in that comparison game there for me was eye opening. I was like, this is silly. I'm trying to, like, go in circles, create it myself, something that's probably not even important. However, I don't think I knew that at that point in time. But something that's not even important, like, trying to figure it out. I was like, if I'm wasting all of this mental effort on this vision that, again, the way I explained it, like, yes, I like to be active. I like to be able to keep up with my kids. I wanna set great examples for them. I wanna have my own interests as well. Like, that's really important for me. So those are a lot of my whys. But I don't think I had that very crystal clear. And instead, I just had this, like, oh my goodness. How am I gonna do this? I have no idea what to do.

Leigh: And so I found my own coaches and, like, and then went through this whole process of becoming a coach myself, which has made it even more helpful. I totally still get stuck there. Like, I have a one and three year old. We went through, you know, six to nine months where we were sick at least once a month, if not twice. And, like, things are busy. And, yes, I have time, but when the time happens is much less in my control. I can always find the time, but it's gotta, like, be in these weird segments. So I a 100% still get stuck in these ruts of you're like, I'm not, I'm, like, not doing the things I wanna do. I'm not getting up in the morning. I'm like, you know, all of the things, they absolutely still happen. And it's so, honestly, I get it from my clients sometimes as I'm coaching my clients. I'm like, Leigh.

Erica: But to your point, I think motherhood is such a sticky floor when it comes to that comparison, because number one, everybody is perfect on Instagram. That's what we see. Nobody's talking about the late nights where you're, like, crying and leaking. So I totally get it, but I love that you were insightful enough to know you couldn't do it on your own, and you needed to get that coach to help you through it. And I am such a big fan of community and external help in whatever way that comes, whether that's a therapist or a coach or a friend or just a partner, because I don't think we're meant to do all of this alone. Right? And when we share these stories just like this is when we realize I'm not the only one that's sitting here thinking that I should meditate three times a day for thirty minutes a day, and I will then be enlightened. Why do I even care? I really don't, guys. I think I need to give that goal up.

Erica: But I love that you said that. One of the questions, Leigh, that I ask everybody on my podcast is what is the one piece of advice that you would give the younger Leigh who's sitting in this trap of comparison, you know, trying to get all her shit together, but is not, because none of us have it together.

Leigh: That would be a good one. I think I'd go for, like, take a breath. And, again, getting to that, like, what's that vision? That's something that has been really helpful for me and probably need to do it again now as we speak. But having the time to kinda write down that vision of, like, what is it, and knowing that that can change as well. Like, write the vision for where you are now, and it helps you kind of, again, remove the noise. Somebody that's, you know, got the job, the side job, the kids. Like, I'm sure a lot of your guests as well, like, like to do a lot and wanna do a lot. And sometimes that can be, as we all know, an Achilles heel as well. And so take a breath, jot it down, get that vision out there, and whether that's career, whether that's, you know, health and wellness, whether that's, you know, some running goal, whatever it is. Yeah. Kinda take a breath, jot it down for where you are now, work towards it, and then know that it can change.

Leigh: And it will change.

Erica: Love that.

Leigh: That's a good thing.

Erica: As the person doing all the things all the time, my therapist knows this of me. So almost every session, she's always like, and what are you doing to relax?

Leigh: And I can see. Oh, yes.

Erica: If I think too long on that, she gets on my case. Right? If I have to be like, wow. And then she's like, okay, we need to dial her back. You know? Yes. Ugh. I love that. Well, Leigh, if somebody's like, oh my gosh. I love this. I need to work with this woman. Where can they find you?

Leigh: Yes. Great question. So I have an Instagram account that people can find. It's Leigh Wager underscore Rebld coaching, but Rebld is spelled funny, R E B L D. And then I also have a website that they can go to as well, which is Rebld.me. Again, R E B L D dot me. Those are the best places.

Erica: Perfect. Well, thank you so much. I love this conversation. It was right up my alley, and I really have to go ask myself some why questions. I hope you found this conversation as enlightening as I did today. And I don't know about you, but I am going to go journal and ask myself a ton of why questions so that I can get clear on what is important to me. But one last thing before you go, make sure that you follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and all the socials for more exciting content just like this. And remember, it is time to stop putting a ceiling on what is possible and start breaking through it.