Erica: Hey, girl. By now, you know I have HER Collective, my online community for ambitious women who are done doing it alone. HER Collective is for the women who are smart, capable, and driven, but they find themselves stuck on the sticky floors like self doubt, burnout, and waiting for permission that quite honestly never comes. Inside HER, you get more than motivation. You get real support, real strategies, and real momentum.

Erica: We work on things like clarifying what you want now and what's coming next, building confidence without burning yourself out, navigating hard conversations, career moves, and leadership moments with clarity, and surrounding yourself with women who actually get it.

Erica: This isn't about hustling harder. It's about moving intentionally, with the right tools and the right people in your corner. If you're ready to stop spinning, start choosing yourself, and build a career and life that actually feels aligned, I'd love to welcome you inside HER Collective. You can learn more and join us at www.joinhercollective.com. Because honestly, girl, you were never meant to do this alone.

Erica: Some stories aren't just meant to be told. They are meant to set people free. And today's guest, Candi Rose, has built her career doing just that. But here's what she knows to be true: when people hear their truth reflected in someone else's story, they finally feel the permission to break their silence and step into their power. And dang, y'all, do I know that to be true.

Erica: Candi helps people confront what they've been running from, reclaim their voice, and take real, tangible steps forward. If you've ever felt like nobody understands you, she will empower you to break free from limiting beliefs, ditch toxic behaviors, and unlock the infinite possibilities waiting for you. This is your time to live your best life unapologetically. I'm Erica Rooney, your host and biggest cheerleader, on a mission to get more women into positions of power and keep them there where they belong. If you want to shatter ceilings, crush self doubt, and build a career and life overflowing with growth and abundance, you're in the right place.

Erica: Here's the deal. We talk about the hard stuff here. Imposter syndrome, perfectionism, fear, burnout, you name it. It's raw, it's honest, and it's exactly what you need to level up. So grab a seat, pop it in your bud, and let's dive in.

Erica: So let's get into it. Without any further ado, Candi Rose, welcome to the show. How are you?

Candi Rose: Thank you. I am doing great. So excited. We finally got this going.

Erica: I know. It's gonna be so good. From the moment I saw your book, which spoiler alert everybody, she is an author. She's got this amazing book called Naked, which don't worry, she got her clothes on, but we are going to talk about it. And I knew I had to have you on this show because I want to call you this shame expert. Right? Like, you know your stuff. But before I give away too much, tell me all about who is Candi Rose and what got us to this point.

Candi Rose: Oh my gosh. That's such a long story. I had a good childhood growing up. Everything was great. When I was in high school, that's when things started taking a turn for me. I was bullied for two years. And after that, I was just this hurting teen. I was running away from family, God, sports, friends, and I ended up going to another school. I started skipping school. I started drinking, drugs, all this stuff.

Candi Rose: By the time I'm 19, I'm arrested by the DEA. I ended up dating drug dealers. I was just going down a very, very fast, spiraling, out of control path. I'm just this hurting teen running away, and now I'm getting in so much trouble. I don't know how to fix it, and I'm spiraling, and I'm drinking more, and I'm doing more drugs, and I'm living the lifestyle of the raves and the all night clubs, and I'm dating guys I shouldn't be dating. And then I start stripping, because I think, hey, I'm dating drug dealers, we're doing drugs, these strippers are making a lot of money, my life isn't looking very good right now anyway. I mean, I was just arrested by the feds. I'd now dropped out of college. I really didn't see any hope for my life, and that's kind of the beginning of how it happened for me.

Candi Rose: After that, it just continued to spiral, and I got into an abusive relationship with a man that I loved with all of my heart. Anybody that's been in an abusive relationship knows that's just when you don't know, you don't know the first time you're in one. You just think they're having a bad day. This is gonna get better. And you pray for them to get better. But at this time, everything was just kind of out of control, and I ended up staying with him for about four years. And things just kept continuing to spiral when I finally got the courage to leave him.

Candi Rose: My home was in preforeclosure. I'm now like, what am I gonna do with my life? And I'm thinking about all the words that he had ever called me, that I was just a dumb bitch and a dirty used up stripper, nobody's ever gonna want you like me. I was like, maybe he's right. I don't have anything to show for myself. Here I am, my home's in preforeclosure, I'm a college dropout with a criminal background who had been a stripper. I'm not very educated, I've got nothing, I've got no money. I'm obviously dating people that I deserve to be dating, because this is how I was thinking. I don't deserve anybody better than this. And that was at my lowest point, where I contemplated suicide. And I thought, there is this hole that I have dug so deep, and I didn't see any way out. And I was so ashamed of the person that I had become.

Candi Rose: I had let myself down. I let my family down. I let God down. And I thought it might just be easier, because of the pain I was feeling, if I could just check out. Luckily, that didn't happen, and I'm still here. And that was the beginning of me rebuilding my life, rebuilding it from basically nothing to everything that I have now. So that's sort of the beginning of my life.

Erica: That is. But tell me, like, where you are now. What are you doing now? Because you've got a 14 year old daughter, right? A thriving career. So we already know, because you're here, you're on the other side of it. Where are we now?

Candi Rose: Okay, so basically after that, I ended up getting my real estate investing career started. This was super huge for me, because I didn't wanna go back to the club. And I got that career started. Within forty five days, I had put a house on a contract. I flipped it. I had made a profit of $7,000. I saved my home from foreclosure, and I never went back to the club. And this was the beginning, yes, of rebuilding my self worth. I knew at the time that I had to find a career where I could do without a college degree. And so I went to work trying to figure out what I could do entrepreneurial wise.

Candi Rose: And then throughout all of that, this is why I say it's kind of a difficult story. I ended up meeting another guy, and I ended up kind of rebounding because I wasn't over my ex. I got pregnant. And when she was one, I called the wedding off. Now during this time of becoming a successful real estate investor, because at the time I was flipping houses for about a year and a half, and then I met this guy, and I rebounded with him. He had a lot of money, so I kind of quit working. And he was like, let me take care of you. I got pregnant. When she was one and a half, I called the wedding off. And then we found ourselves nearly homeless again. He had kicked us out, taken our only car even though he had three, kept all my clothes, and then my parents took us in. We would have been homeless if it weren't for them taking us in. And so again, it was like my life just hit rock bottom a lot of times. That's why I have to go through it, so you can kind of see where I'm at.

Candi Rose: But I was home, and I was like, why God? Why me again? And then I got up, decided, hey, I'm gonna start rebuilding my life again. I rebuilt my business for a second time. And for about nine months, nothing was happening from the outside looking in. Everybody was looking at me like, what are you doing with your life? You need to get up, you need to get a job. And I'm like, I'm trying to get my business going. And within nine months, I put another house under contract, I flipped it, I had made so much money that now I was able to go out and start my career all over again. I ended up being able to buy us a car. We didn't have a car for like a year. And within a year, gotten us a house, a car, got my business started again, and things were looking up.

Candi Rose: So fast forward a few years later, I have now flipped hundreds of homes, and I was building multimillion dollar homes. Again, I am nobody special, I'm just somebody that saw a challenge, wanted to try it. I learned a trade, I learned how to do things, and then I did it even though it was really, really scary to get involved in it. And then I became good at it. And so I had just sold the biggest project in my career. It was this 10,000 square foot home that I had built in this really nice neighborhood. It was $2,600,000. Not at the time, this is before this crazy market.

Erica: Right. In today's money, that's like a $10,600,000 home.

Candi Rose: Exactly. So at the time, I mean, it was gorgeous, and I had just sold it. And I need so much money, and I'm miserable. And I'm like, what is going on? I had also built my daughter and I a brand new home during this time. I mean, I am a female dominating a male dominated industry, and I'm like, what, why am I so unhappy? Why am I not, and I felt guilty. I felt like I should be appreciative, and I was, I was very appreciative. And I had to take a step back, and I realized I'm burnt out. I've worked so much, I've become this perfectionist and this workaholic, because I'm throwing myself into my work because I'm trying to get over all of the pain from my exes, from the abuse, from running from being abandoned to raise a child on my own. I'm trying to prove something to people. I'm trying to prove to my parents I'm not a total fuck up. I'm trying to prove to myself I could take care of my kid without any help from the father. It was just so much stress, and I had gotten to this place, and I was just like, what's wrong with me? And I realized that I was just tired of running, and I didn't wanna run anymore. And I was like, I have to go.

Candi Rose: And as whatever this sounds like, I felt like I just needed to run away and find myself and heal. And so I did. I ended up moving my daughter and I to Spain in the middle of it all. I just said, I'm not doing this anymore. I'm not working hundred hour weeks or eighty hour weeks, whatever I was working, and raising a child on my own. I was like, I wanna be part of my child's life. She's nine at this time, and I wanna be happy. And the money that I was making, you know, I made a lot of money in the strip club, and I made a lot of money flipping houses, but like both of them, I ran away from those careers because I wasn't happy with the money. And I ran away from my ex who was a multimillionaire because I wasn't happy in that relationship, and I was just searching for my happiness, and I found it. I found it completely broke and broken with my child and starting my life all over again.

Candi Rose: That was the beginning, was when I left him. I started to rebuild my happiness. And as I'm building my child and I's future, I loved being a real estate investor, but then it got to the point where it was just all about work, more hours, more work, more hours, more work. And I had done it. I had already proven to myself that I could be successful here, but then it got to the point where it was like, this isn't my passion anymore, this isn't my calling anymore. This was my vehicle to get out of rock bottom and to be able to take care of my kid, and I feel blessed, and I said thank you to God so much. But I was like, now I feel like I'm being called to do something else.

Candi Rose: And it was scary, because it was like, walk away from this career where I'm making so much money and just go find yourself, heal, and write this book, and take care of your child. And I didn't know at the time, I just knew I needed to get it out, and so I started to write. And this process was so therapeutic. I can't tell you how many times I cried writing this book, and it was just like it was a way to just release everything inside of me that I had kept hidden from everybody, that I had kept hidden from society and from my parents and from my friends. I mean, nobody really knew about what was going on in my life. And I started to write, and it freed me. And that was kind of the beginning of my speaking career. It helped me get my thoughts in order, and it helped me understand my story even more. And it was very therapeutic in the fact that it brought up a lot of repressed memories, and that's why I was crying so much, because I had forgotten about the pain of being bullied. Oh my gosh, when I started talking about that, I would just cry like I was still in high school, because of the pain.

Candi Rose: And when I'm writing about the abuse, I'm bawling. And when I'm writing about my substance abuse problem, I'm crying because I remember being on the bathroom floor, throwing up profusely, thinking, am I gonna OD, am I gonna ever wake up, and just crying out to God. God help me, God help me, why can't I stop this, why can't I remember, I hate this feeling, what's wrong with me. And you're sitting there, and you're like, I'm never gonna get over this, and then it comes back when you start writing it. And so it was just an amazing experience, to walk away from everything, to follow a calling, to follow something in my heart, because I felt like God was gonna use me somehow to go out there and show people that it's not over. It's not over. It's never over.

Candi Rose: And so that was kind of the thing that led me into my speaking career. I wrote the book. People started asking me to come speak on stages, and I was trying to sell, at that time, real estate investing courses. And I would have all these people lined up, and they didn't wanna buy real estate investing courses. They wanted to know how did I overcome all the things in my past. And that was a big moment. It was like, okay, I'm gonna change direction here. Instead of going and sharing my story, which I do, and real estate investing is always a big vehicle, I'm gonna now start to target it towards people so that I could show them how to step out of their shame and their pain from their past, and show them that they're not alone, and that there's always hope, and that it does not matter where you come from. It doesn't matter if you have money, what color you are, what sex you are, what education you have. There is always a way to make it work if you really wanna make it work, because there's so many resources now.

Erica: Well, there's so much stuff. And I talk a lot about infinite possibilities, and I think people shut that down sometimes and they tune it out because they think, no, that could not be for me, right, like I could never do that. For example, I'm sure there's a ton of people listening right now who are like, I couldn't just pick up and move to Spain, that must be nice. And it's like, no, no, no, that's not what we're talking about here. Because let's just listen back to her whole story and tell me again that that must be nice.

Candi Rose: Yeah.

Erica: But what I'm really interested in, what I'm so intrigued by is the shame piece, because damn, what a big ugly ass emotion, right. What an ugly feeling. Nobody likes the feeling of shame. Nobody wants to talk about shame because it sucks. And I think you automatically assume, and you've said this a couple times, like, what's wrong with me. And I know for me, my zone of discomfort is asking for help. So when you couple that zone of discomfort with all of the shame that I felt from not being a good enough executive, not being a good enough mom or wife or whatever, it's like, well, good, I can just numb those feelings up real quick.

Candi Rose: Yeah.

Erica: I know how to do that real quick, and then I'll just go about my day. And nobody ever knew, and I never told anybody, because again, the shame. So how do you, or how did you start to reconcile the shame and process it and move forward with it?

Erica: Hey there, listeners. If you have ever felt like you're stuck in a place, held back by self doubt, perfectionism, or that pesky inner critic, you're not alone. We all face those sticky floors that keep us from reaching the heights we dream of. But guess what? It's time to shatter those limiting beliefs and toxic behaviors and uncover infinite possibilities. My book, *Glass Ceilings and Sticky Floors*, is your ultimate guide to smashing through barriers, overcoming limiting beliefs, and stepping into your full potential.

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Candi Rose: Yeah, the shame is something that I didn't know how to break for a really long time. And that's because when we suffer with shame, we don't know who is safe. And I always tell people that in order to heal from shame, you have to do a few things. My number one thing that I teach people is seek God, lean hard into your faith, because that was my path, and so I just share with people what I did. Number two, though, is to always find somebody, a trusted confidant or coach or somebody that you can talk to. And this doesn't mean go running and talk to all your friends and family, because I have done that, and when you receive remarks or comments back that you didn't think you were gonna receive, it can really make you go back inside and close up again. I remember talking to my own dad, and he was like, I mean, you weren't really in an abusive relationship, were you, it wasn't really that bad, was it. I was like, oh wow, if you talked to the wrong one.

Candi Rose: And then you tell people, I have a drinking problem, or I have a drug problem, or I have a sex problem. I had a really big problem with promiscuity, and I just started talking about that recently, because that was really hard for me to open up about. Why? Because what if somebody else hears me talking about it, maybe a guy that I like, is this gonna affect me in some way. And you know what, it might. But when I tell people is, you have to talk about it. Okay, seek a confidant or a coach. You do the work that you have to do, which is really uncomfortable, but you have to do it. And I'm just talking about taking baby steps, little baby steps every day. I remember when I was leaving my abuser, and I just felt like I was gonna take my life. I just remember it was hard to walk, like I felt like it was physical therapy, but it was mental. And I just remember going outside and just walking a little bit every day. But doing the work is mental and it's physical, you gotta take care of your body.

Candi Rose: But then the next step is making sure that you have a place to share, in a safe community that is nonjudgmental. And this is where the majority of your healing is gonna happen. And this is what I do with my community, because when you're able to share, and this you could share many different ways. There is speaking, but I didn't start off as a speaker, I promise you, I did not.

Erica: We don't go from rock bottom to stages and bring 10,000 people, y'all. That's not how it works.

Candi Rose: You start off little by little, baby steps. You do the work, you share, and then you're gonna go back. I call it the shame dance. You're gonna share it, you're gonna delete it, and then you're like, I don't wanna say that anymore, I don't want people to know. You kind of go back and forth with getting comfortable with it. But where you learn to heal from the shame is that you bring it into the light, because when you bring your shame into the light, it loses its power over you, because shame holds its power in the darkness and in your isolation and in your silence. So then after that, you start creating your own community to continue your healing and your sharing. It's a process. You just have to address it, you have to feel it to heal it, you have to stop running, you have to stop running from it. And that was the main thing for me. I wanted to stop flipping houses and building houses because I wanted to be present in what was going on. And I'm not saying go and quit your job or anything right away, but I knew that if I stayed in my career, I wouldn't have any time, because I was working so many hours, and I am a full time single mom. And as long as we can just keep making that money and keep running, maybe it won't catch up to us. But one day it catches up, and then you have a meltdown.

Erica: A little mentee bee, as some of my friends like to call it.

Candi Rose: Yeah, so yeah.

Erica: Oh my gosh, all of it resonates with me so much, because it's very similar to my story, just also totally different. It's the feelings of the shame and the emotion and starting over and having to bring all of those things that you believe are gross and bad about you into the light and start talking about them. And I will absolutely tell you that community with other people like me is absolutely what helped me in the beginning. I remember I had a pen pal, y'all, like an email pen pal, I can't remember how we got connected, but we would check in with each other every week to see how we were doing, right, and it was through a sober community. But every week, me and this woman would just communicate by email, and she was the only person at that time that I felt like I could actually open up and talk to about what I was struggling with, and it was because she was doing the same thing.

Candi Rose: Mhmm.

Erica: And so when you can talk about these things, that's why I love to talk about them on the podcast, because if I had had this type of conversation way back then, how would it have been different? I don't know. And it's not just about sobriety or any of those things, I mean, imposter syndrome, women don't talk about that. Women don't step up to the plate and say, yeah, my confidence is shit, and that's why I didn't ask for a raise. All of these things that we are scared to speak into existence. We have to, because then we find the community, we learn we're not alone, and then you can start to put the pieces together. But I have another question for you. One thing I really wanted to highlight is you've had a couple big roller coaster up and down moments.

Candi Rose: I've had a lot.

Erica: And I love this, because I feel like we have so many people that think it's like, oh well, you hit rock bottom and then it's all up and up and up from here. Mm-mm. And it's like, oh no, honey, we are really on the roller coaster ride, we are going up, we are going down sideways, and loop de loop. So I love that that's highlighted. But one thing I wanna ask you, and this kind of brings it into motherhood and all of that, but where did you find the courage? Because these are big courageous steps you took. I know you talk about baby steps, but some of these are big courageous steps. How did you take these big courageous steps, navigate healing while also being the mom you wanna be?

Candi Rose: Okay, so yes, they do seem like big, huge steps, and they are, but I was always taking my baby steps. And I always talk about focusing on your F priorities. F words are the best words, is what I always say. And as a single woman, single mom, I say focus on, and what I always focused on every single time I hit rock bottom, was my faith first, family second, friends, meaning I got rid of a lot of friends that were bringing me down, and I kept the friends that wanted the best for me. But in my life I didn't have a lot of those, because I was clearly going in and out of some pretty bad groups and doing some things. And then my fitness, which is physical fitness and mental health, and then my finances. So I was always focusing on these. And what I tell the ladies is, don't focus on that other F word, what's it called, it's called fornicating, that's right, I used to say the other one.

Erica: I mean that's where my head went, but okay, we're gonna keep it clean on this podcast today.

Candi Rose: I try to, yes. I do say the bad words every now and then. I say them a lot when I'm just with my friends.

Erica: Yep, yep.

Candi Rose: I'm trying, I'm trying. But when you are focusing on the things that you need to focus on in your life, especially when you put your faith first and you focus on God first, and then you're focusing on your family, which for me was my daughter, and then you're focusing on your fitness, because you're strengthening yourself and your mental health, you're reading positive self help books, you're reading the Bible, you're reading whatever, listening to things now, to what you were saying earlier. When I was going through a lot of my stuff, I didn't have social media, when I was going through the abuse stuff and all that. But that's what I was focusing on, was those F priorities. And so that's how I was able to go out and literally pick up the pieces of my life within nine months, to buy a house for my daughter, a car for myself and my daughter, get my business going again. And the faith part was really, really important, because nothing was happening for nine months. Things were happening, but you couldn't see it happening. And I had two fathers, my stepfather and my father, both telling me, go get a real job with benefits, you need to take care of your kid. And I was like, no, I don't wanna go work for somebody else, I wanna rebuild my business, I know I can do this, I know I can do this. And it was just taking so long again. I could've quit, I could've quit, but I didn't wanna quit. And I had to believe that my faith was going to help me achieve the things that I wanted to do in my life, as long as I didn't quit. And so that's always been my motto: never quit, never give up, no matter how hard it gets. Because if you quit, that means you're gonna live in your settled life. You're gonna live in misery. You're gonna live with what society says you should have. But if you rely on your faith and you just keep going, you get smacked in the face so many times, you get knocked down. I mean my life is just continually knockdowns. And I just kept getting back up. And I was like, what else am I gonna do, I had a choice, am I gonna go back to the strip club? I don't wanna go back to the strip club. Now I'm getting this business going, and it's so hard, and I'm like, the whole speaking, the books, the marketing, building everything. And I'm like, do I go back to flipping houses? I mean, I could, but I don't wanna go back to flipping houses, this is my new passion, and I'm gonna do whatever I gotta do to make it work, because I believe, and God says, because of your faith, it will happen. And so that's the way I live my life.

Erica: So when you say focus on your F's, it makes me think about that quote where it's like choose your hard. Working out every day is hard, but it's also really hard to be unhappy with how you look, not confident in your bathing suit at the pool with your kids, and feel like shit. So choose your hard, right, like it's hard to go back to that strip club and live that life, it's hard to start a real estate business, it's hard to be a single mom. All of these things are hard. But it's pick your hard, and it's aligning with your happiness and what fills your cup and all of those things. So Candi, for anyone who is listening that maybe feels lost, feels broken, feels shame, maybe they feel like they'll never escape their past, what's one message that you want them to take away from your story?

Candi Rose: I just hope that they can see that your story is never done. It's never done until you say it's done. And it might look like you don't have any hope, and it might look like you have dug a hole so deep that you're never gonna find your way out, and it might look like you don't have any possible way to change your life around, but you do. You always have hope, and you can always change your life, but you're gonna have to work for it. And yes, I say you have to lean hard into your faith, because here's the thing, especially if you're suffering with shame, and more specifically toxic shame. Toxic shame puts you in a place that you're so isolated and lonely and you're silenced. And I know that you've tried everything you can to change it, and so did I. And I was at that breaking point of considering taking my life. I had to reach out to a higher power, because I had tried to do it on my own, and I couldn't do it on my own. And so I needed a higher power, and so I said, okay, God help me, just help me, if you're out there, help me. That's all I used to pray, all the time, help me. And so that's the one thing I would say, is that just don't give up. Don't ever give up. Don't ever give up.

Erica: Yeah. And then my last favorite question, I always say this is last question, best question. But if you could go back in time, to the Candi Rose who is being bullied and starting down the path that I think everybody always wishes they had never stepped down, but if we hadn't done that, we wouldn't be here today. What piece of advice would you give her today? And this, I mean, think about it, like this is almost around your daughter's age, right?

Candi Rose: She's 14. Yeah, she's 14. I was bullied the first and second year in high school. And what I've told her for a very long time is that bullies bully you because they have low self esteem. I didn't know that. I didn't know abusers abuse you because they have low self esteem, and also because there's something going on at home that you don't know about. Now I'm not condoning that they're hurting you because they're hurting, but hurting people hurt people, and people who want something that you have, or are jealous of you, are going to be mean to you. And I didn't understand this. I was innocent, I was this innocent little girl, I had not had sex, I wasn't really interested in boys yet, I was a late bloomer. And so I always talk to her about that, and I'm like, if they're mean to you, you have to stand up for yourself. You have to stand up for yourself, that if you're gonna stand up for yourself, then stand up for yourself, but if not, just walk away. That's probably the best thing to do, and don't show any emotions, walk away, don't show any emotions. And so you just have to understand that people are either hating or bullying or abusing because there's something that happened in their past, but also because they're insecure.

Erica: Yeah, and then it has nothing to do with you.

Candi Rose: Yeah, of course.

Erica: At that age, it's very, even at this age, at my age, I'm turning 40 next month, it's very hard to sometimes wrap my brain around. Well, your book, it's on Amazon, it's wherever books are sold. Where can people get in touch with you if they want to connect or learn more about you?

Candi Rose: Yeah, so they can go to candirose.com. It's Candi, Rose like the flower, dot com. And they can find out all of the information on my communities if they want to join those communities. I also have a free master class, and I'm usually doing a training, I'm always trying to give something of value to my community, to help them get to know me more. So just go to the website, candirose.com, and you can see everything that's going on there and get in touch with me on social media too.

Erica: Amazing. I'm gonna link everything in the show notes. Y'all, it is a must read, so grab it today. Candi, thank you so much.

Candi Rose: Thank you.