Erica: Hey, girl. By now, you know I have Her Collective, my online community for ambitious women who are done doing it alone. Her Collective is for the women who are smart, capable, and driven, but they find themselves stuck on the sticky floors like self doubt, burnout, and waiting for permission that quite honestly never comes. Inside HER, you get more than motivation. You get real support, real strategies, and real momentum. We work on things like clarifying what you want now and what's coming next, building confidence without burning yourself out, navigating hard conversations, career moves, and leadership moments with clarity, and surrounding yourself with women who actually get it. This isn't about hustling harder. It's about moving intentionally with the right tools and the right people in your corner. If you're ready to stop spinning, start choosing yourself, and build a career in life that actually feels aligned, I'd love to welcome you inside her collective. You can learn more and join us at www.joinhercollective.com. Because honestly, girl, you were never meant to do this alone. Do you have a mean girl at work? Chances are you do. Mean girls are everywhere. And as unfortunate as that is, you're gonna have to deal with one at some point. They can try to tear you down in meetings, make you look bad to others, talk bad about you behind your back, about initiatives you're driving at work, all that high school b s, but in the corporate world. As women, we have enough of that crap that we have to deal with in the workplace. We should be lifting each other up, not tearing each other down. But what should you do if you're faced with that mean girl at every turn and you don't see the world like they do? You see it like I do. Abundance for everyone. I'm your host, Erica Rooney, and today, I'm here to talk with you about mean girls. Working in HR, I have seen my fair share of mean girls. And as someone who's earned a lot of success, I've been the receiving end of a mean girl plenty of times. They exist because they feel threatened. Mean girl behavior is known as relational aggression, and that's aimed at bringing another person down. It's a form of bullying that's aimed at causing harm to another person's social standing or their status. Those women who feel that there is only room for one female at the top are often the ones that we see displaying this type of behavior. They often wanna be seen as the best in their field or the best of the company, the most competent person in the room. They tend to really cringe at change unless it's their idea. And when you bring different insights or ideas to the table, they view it as challenging their own ideas. Instead of an opportunity to improve or collaborate, they will gossip about you and your work. They will try to intimidate you. They may even try to embarrass you in front of others or try to just cut down your credentials. But you can shut these mean girls out in an effective way. And on rare occasions, I have seen mean girls change their ways. But these are long learned belief that these women have ingrained, and it's not your job to be their therapist. So I wanted to drop in, give you a few tips and tricks about how you can rise above these mean girls without stooping to their level. Number one, do not engage unless you have to. When you must, take a deep breath and remember that their actions say more about who they are than they do about you. But if you do have to engage, make sure that you are tracking examples. So it really helps when you are rational, when you are unemotional, when you're dealing with a mean girl. Keep it away from she doesn't like me or she's mean and provide exact examples. So you could say, when you don't follow process, I feel frustrated and overwhelmed because I have to take extra time out of my day to figure out what's going on. The second thing you can do is watch your language. Quite literally, watch your language. Mean girls can make you wanna shout, lose control, maybe drop a few f bombs, and respond on their level. But you need to remember that you're not a mean girl. You keep your cool and respond like the badass executive that you are. Number three, change how you respond. And guess what? No response is a response. You may not be able to control them, but you control if and how you choose to respond. If you're a mom, you'll get this, but think about if your kid is asking for something in a particularly snarky or rude way. Right? My kids often, like, mom, I need more milk. Don't react unless they change their tune. So I literally don't respond to my kids unless they say, please, mom, can I have some milk? In the workplace, you can simply say, I'd love to help you when you're in a place where you can speak to me respectfully. The next thing that you can do is resist upstaging them as tempting as that can be. Mean girls come from a place of low self esteem. And when you come in over top of them, it challenges that. Even more, it causes them to be threatened. So I know that it is a natural inclination to want to upstage them, but do your best not to. You've gotta continue to work hard. Don't let their behavior to derail you in your projects actually happen. While it can be easy and a bit gratifying to respond with a fiery email, you know, and bring the receipts to take them down, don't do that. When you rise above, continue to grow your relationships with others in the organization and don't stoop to their level, others do notice. And the last thing is, the trash always goes out on Tuesdays. Never forget. That's what I tell myself when I'm really fired up. Eventually, that type of mean girl behavior gets noticed and hopefully gets exited. I know that there's some company cultures where this is an issue. And if that's the case, it's not the place for you, but the trash always goes out on Tuesdays. So dealing with mean girls, unfortunately, can be a lifelong event for many of us. But when you know how to deal with them, when you know how to respond, you will, without a doubt, rise to the top. Mean girls don't make it far without burning bridges. Strong, confident, and inclusive women do. And if I leave you with one thing today, it's to remember that there is room for all of us at the top. If you liked this episode and you want to get more influential women into your network and kick those mean girls to the curb, check out my ebook. I give you the strategy that I use and it 10 x'd my network with meaningful connections. If that's not for you, at least reach out to me on LinkedIn and connect with me. I would love to be a part of your network. You can find the link in the show notes.