Erica: Hey, girl. By now, you know I have Her Collective, my online community for ambitious women who are done doing it alone. Her Collective is for the women who are smart, capable, and driven, but they find themselves stuck on the sticky floors like self doubt, burnout, and waiting for permission that quite honestly never comes. Inside HER, you get more than motivation. You get real support, real strategies, and real momentum.

Erica: We work on things like clarifying what you want now and what's coming next, building confidence without burning yourself out, navigating hard conversations, career moves, and leadership moments with clarity, and surrounding yourself with women who actually get it. This isn't about hustling harder. It's about moving intentionally with the right tools and the right people in your corner. If you're ready to stop spinning, start choosing yourself, and build a career in life that actually feels aligned, I'd love to welcome you inside her collective. You can learn more and join us at www.joinhercollective.com.

Erica: Because honestly, girl, you were never meant to do this alone.

Erica: I'm your host, Eric Aruni. And today I have Melissa Kelly joining me. Melissa leads people ops for acre, which is a Durham, North Carolina based seed stage startup. She is an executive for this team.

Erica: And in fact, Melissa is the first in office female. She is also a wife, a mom to two small kids, Peloton lover, and an overall badass leader. So thank you, Melissa, for joining. It is so great to have you today.

Melis: Thank you for having me.

Erica: Awesome. I am very excited to have someone who is in the same proximity as me and being in the search triangle part. So that's really cool for me. But I would love to learn a little bit more about you kind of who you are, how you found yourself in this role and kind of just anything you wanna share with us.

Melis: Yeah. So I started my career with target stores. I was an intern, when I was in college, I went to East Carolina. I played tennis there. I was a full scholarship athlete.

Melis: I loved my track as an athlete. But I wasn't sure what I was gonna do. I was so focused on getting to that level and then succeeding at that level in my sport that I had basically thought about like post college. So I went to a career fair. If Margaret were there, I was like, I love Margaret.

Melis: Let me talk to them. And they were like, do you have leadership experience? I was like, yeah, I'm Catherine ordered STEM team. But they were like, let's give you an interview. So I went through that and I kind of just took the internship.

Melis: Cause I was like, let's see what this is about. And I had a great time. I learned how a store runs. It was all operational based, which is really cool. And then at the end of it, they offered me a full time role.

Melis: I wasn't sure if I was, I was like, I don't know if I wanna do this. The chiropractor asked for like, you're doing this. This is a full time job you're taking this job. Okay. Okay.

Melis: So I took it. I have to say for three years, I have the best time. I think that, like, I tell now, like, college students, like, take what you can get. I think part of me when you're in college, like you're really worried about like being impressive and like taking like the coolest sexiest job. And like, that's not a reality for when you're someone with no experience or just an internship under your belt.

Melis: Like, there are great companies that do recruit out of college, but there's so many opportunities out there. And I think part of me was a little bit like, not ashamed, but kinda like, not like amazed. I was like running a Target store, but it set me up. I still look back on my current days and everything that I experienced. I learned so much, like working a black Friday and working in like high volume stores with seasonal hiring and like all the like people ops and employee relations issues that come through and come across your desk.

Melis: Like it's just crazy. And they handed me the keys to the store when I was 22 years old and said, you know, run it and you're alone and you have to deal with, you have a crazy person in the store. And it's like, you know, I had a man strip naked in the store one night. I was closing and I'm in charge. And I got, I already gotta deal with it.

Melis: So yeah, it was a really good time. My first boss, Jamaras Richardson, he is still a target. He's still a mentor to me. He taught me so much about teams and people. And he always said, it's not about the X's and the O's.

Melis: It's about the Jimmy's and the Joes. Because Rupert's so like operationally, like, this is how we'll execute the plan. He was like, guys, like, if you don't have the people, this plan doesn't matter. And that's where I learned about human resources and people operation. And I was like, I like this stuff.

Melis: I like hiring and finding people and putting them in the right place and dealing with, like, employee relations issues and figuring out, like, where is negative culture coming from? How do we create positive culture? How does that drive operational results? I really, really love that. And he was like, yeah, that's HR.

Melis: So my husband at the time we were dating, he was living in LA. I was in North Carolina. So I transferred out to LA and I took, a job in a target store as the HR manager and did that for a while and obviously loved it, but working weekends, holidays stuff. Not sustainable for when I wanted out of life. So when we moved back to Raleigh, I, I got a job to make for generals in the warehouse Monday through Friday, and that was really cool.

Melis: But then I have my son and I didn't love that job. And it was really hard to leave your child for forty hours a week at a job that you didn't love. So I only had six weeks in trying to leave. I negotiated a little bit of work from home time after those six weeks, just to sort of patch things together. And my first week back, not one person asked me how I was doing.

Melis: Like, no acknowledgement of the fact that I just like burst a whole human. I was like, I'm having my own identity crisis. And I just was really struggling. So I moved behind and I was like, I wanna work remotely. And so I fell into a role for a tech company that was like pretty early stage.

Melis: I was like the second or third HR hire. And it was fully remote and I said, let's do it. That's how I found the early stage and that's what I fell in love with. Building, building teams, building processes. That was like the coolest thing for me.

Melis: Stayed there for three years and then a recruiter reached out for this role, something I'm at now to be the first people apps hire. And I was like, that's like an even bigger challenge. Well, no, let's do it. And yeah, I've been there ever since and it's been such a fun ride.

Erica: I love that entire story because I think it resonates with a lot of people when they're graduating college, whatever major they choose. And then they're like, well, now what am I supposed to do? Right? Like we do have step by steps laid out for us. And true to what you said, like a lot of people are looking for that cool, sexy job that people are, you know, TikToking about or whatever that

Melis: is. Yeah. Right? And, and

Erica: the truth of the matter is it might not be a cool, sexy job, you know, because all of those jobs wants you to have like five years experience to be an intern. Right? And it's like, Yeah. How do you even do that?

Melis: Yeah. And even like, you know, depending on like where you're coming from, like, or, or what you've done and like there are certain companies that only recruit from certain schools or whatever it may be that you might not have that opportunity. But I like, I always tell people like, just get experience, like, and Target is an amazing company. I really did love working for them, but it's not like, oh, I work for, you know, this big tech company or whatever. It's like, yeah, I'm closing today.

Melis: We're a retail store like that. I'm working from twelfth to midnight on a Tuesday. Like, but you just, you learn so much and like people still ask me about it. Like when I'm interviewing for jobs or whenever, like, and I still pull from what I learned there. It's really like, I feel like it's the gold standard of, like, operations and, like, people operations.

Melis: But I think, like, I think a lot of people, like, turn their nose up at even if it's outside of, like, retail or whatever, I think it's better to have something. And even if it's not great, you learn that. You're like, okay, I don't like this, but let me that will help my search and whatever I wanna find. It's just better to just get in there. Yeah.

Melis: And start doing something.

Erica: I really think I believe that every single person should have some sort of job where they are either in service or they are in, like, retail because that is a completely different animal than any other job you will ever have. And it really teaches you how to work with people. And

Melis: then Yes.

Erica: Provides you like you gave us a pretty insane story about a naked man running through the store.

Melis: Oh, I got tons.

Erica: Yeah. Three wild things to deal with where you're like, this is stuff you cannot make up, you know? So. Yeah.

Melis: You know, and then you

Erica: don't have a naked man at work today. It's a pretty

Melis: tame day. And it's, yeah, I tell them about all the time. Like you can't scare me, but it also just makes you so adaptable. I'm like,

Erica: I think I used to be really scared of the unknown, which we all are,

Melis: especially like you said in college, everything laid out for you and then you're kinda on your own. And now I'm like, whatever. Like, whatever you got for me, I'll figure it out. It's like, like, I was just not worried. I get bored because yeah.

Melis: Like, because that's what you have to do. Like, especially when I have a federally in charge of clothing and when the sun goes down, like crazy things happen. Like, I think anyone that's worked in retail will probably like, yeah. Like just the things you see and even internally, the things I would see. And it helped like doing HR specifically.

Melis: I was in California at the time. It really gave me a strong foundation because I think from an HR perspective, like it's so complicated that, like, it really set me out that I can think about things from like a maybe doomsday perspective, which can be helpful when we're, you know, being thinking about implementing things or whatever. So, yeah, it's just really, really valuable for me.

Erica: Awesome. Well, you and I have talked about my concept of sticky floors and glass ceilings.

Melis: Yeah.

Erica: And I think your story starting out in Target retail work escalating

Melis: all the way up here

Erica: to the head of people. I'm sure you have experienced a sticky floor too. What is your sticky floor?

Melis: Yeah, I think my sticky floor actually emerged after I had my first son. I like, I think he was pretty unexpected, so I didn't really have time to think about myself as a, a mom and she's a working mom. So I just, like I said, I was having like identity crisis. And I found myself like wanting to do everything and wanting to do everything myself. Like I, for some reason, like I'm very competitive.

Melis: I really want to be the best. And for some reason, if I five, like being the best means like not having any help, like even for my own spouse. So I was like, I'm going to like do homemade baby food and I like breastfeed and I'm gonna peloton every single day and like be amazing and work sixty hours a week and no one will help me. And I think it's a really toxic toxic mindset and it's taken me a long time. I still fight with it.

Melis: Like there are days where I'm like, I've done everything by myself, shame. I was just like, that's not good. Like that's not a good thing. And I like, I think just being, just burning the candle at every end, at every side. Right.

Melis: There's no, like, it's not something to celebrate. I think it really does take a village, especially when you're trying to raise your kids and be a good partner and do something for yourself, and develop your own career. Help is, like, vital. It's not even it's not an option. You have to take it.

Melis: Like, we just recently got house cleaner, which and for the longest time, I was like, I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. My husband husband can do it.

Melis: Like, we'll we'll do it together. It's fine. And eventually you just like, it's a worthy investment. Like, why are we spending our time? You work so hard.

Melis: I work hard. Like, why are we spending our time doing that? Or even just like extending, extending my childcare and asking family to help and asking my husband to help. I think for a long time, maybe this was like a touch of like postpartum anxiety, but I felt like no one could do anything the way I do it. Like, I was just like, it's easier for me to do it than explain to you how to do things.

Melis: Or like, like my son's like, I can cook dinner for the kids. I'm like, duh, you do it wrong. And eventually I realized I had to let him go and let him like, he's like, I'm a whole person. I'm an adult. I can I can cook dinner and like, maybe it won't be what you do, but it's still fine?

Melis: It's still good. And it's something I like, I still fight with every single day. And I'm like, okay, like I need to like, let go of my expectations of what is good or perfect or the best and know that if he wants to make pizza for the kids or order it, that's completely fine. Like it gives me a break. And they're fit for me.

Melis: They're good. They're happy. They're thrilled. Like it's not even about it's it's so internal. It's so about me.

Melis: And just feeling like I can do it all. And like, we can't do it all, but

Erica: with hope. Well, and I think too, you know, this notion of everything has to be perfect, right, stems a lot from, you know, when we were growing up, a lot of us had moms who stayed home, you know?

Melis: My mom stayed home. Right.

Erica: They worked part time. So they could cook you three meals a day, you know? And with the rise of social media where you see these moms who are packing their kids' lunches by like cutting cucumbers into heart shapes, writing love notes to their child every day, you're like, well, I need to do that. And, you know, obviously science says breastfeeding is the best thing that you can do. So now I need to devote however many hours a day that tapes, you know?

Melis: Mhmm.

Erica: Yeah. All of these things. And right? And then also just the mental workload of the mother, you know, finding a daycare for your child. Which one is the best daycare?

Erica: When can you get them in? When are their shots? You know, so you're running through this, just all these tabs. I always equate it to like my browser history. Right?

Erica: And, like, the tabs that I have open and running in my mind. Right? Yeah. And I'll tell you too. Like, my husband used to get frustrated with me because I would, like, work backwards from the whole day.

Erica: You know? So, like, if we needed to have the kids in bed at seven, then we need to nap dinner by six. We needed to do bath by five. We needed to be home by night. And if any of that got off schedule, like, it really just got me into a tizzy because it I wasn't going to be able to get it all done.

Melis: Yes. Yes. Or the nap schedule when my, my first son, Declan. Oh my goodness. I was just a slave to the nap schedule and it could not.

Melis: And I'm still like very much about routine. I know that it helps everybody, But it's okay to like take a nap thirty minutes later than normal. Like that's gonna be okay. Like there'll be fine. Or, you know, bed thirty minutes later.

Melis: Or asking for help and like letting my husband do that so I can like clean up the kitchen or whatever it may be as opposed to trying to like handle everything and then lose my mind and explode. I think

Erica: too being a new mom and trying to balance that identity

Melis: of Oh, my.

Erica: Before I had a child, I was a really successful professional doing x, y, and z. Right? And then maybe I was also a very avid, you know, runner and I would run 40 miles a week. And so you have all these categories of who you were and then obviously becoming a mother changes that.

Melis: Yes. Yes.

Erica: You can't just keep adding to your, to your cup without it running. Oh, you know? No.

Melis: And I remember like, especially being an athlete, like exercise is so important to me and I always had two hours, you know, after work to do uninterrupted time. I interrupted. And I was so worried. I was so worried about, will I get this time? What will my body be capable of doing after?

Melis: And I'd recently said we have the Peloton Tread and Christian Ferguson is one of the Tread instructors who I'm obsessed with. She has the Ratchet Mom's Club. Like that's her. I love

Erica: her. Yeah.

Melis: And she, her and Robin did their international intimacy ride, and she talked about the that feeling of, like, what will I be able to do after I have my babies? And I was, like, crying, listening to her, go, baby. Yes. Like and it feels silly. It's like, oh, it seems to work out.

Melis: Who cares? But when it's, like, so ingrained in your identity and like so necessary for your mental health. And we had Peloton before I could. And then once I switched jobs to my work from home job, Sean, my husband was like, let's do it. Like, we need this.

Melis: This is going to help you. And now I'm like, unapologetic. I'm like, I'm gonna ride at this time or I'm gonna run at this time. Like, yep. I'm on it.

Melis: Or I'll call my mom over and be like, Hey, can you sit with the kids for thirty minutes? I need to run and, and get this done. And then that makes me better. Like, as opposed to trying to squeeze it in and, you know, late at night or while they're napping, which is ironic because my layup board name is riding at nap time, which is the two for try to fit it in, but just, you know, making it a priority and not be like, not feeling bad for arranging childcare or something to so I can get that in. You know, it's it's like thirty minutes from a different person.

Erica: So we're bleeding into the next question, which that I ask, which is like overcoming it. Right? But I wanna ask one question before we jump into that. And it's because I'm thinking and reflecting on my own experiences and Yeah. Feeling of perfectionism and having to do it all.

Erica: But did your partners, like life and schedule change after you had a baby or was it only yours?

Melis: I would say mine was more effective, especially because, like, I breastfed myself for eighteen months, which that was a personal choice. But and now my daughter won't take a bottle. I went too extreme. I'm like, I was like, I'm gonna be so good at breastfeeding. She was like, yeah.

Melis: But and now she's like, I want work to balance. Yeah. I'm like, go on, girl.

Erica: She not only understood the assignment, but she Yeah.

Melis: She flew way too close to the sun there. So but I think like I'm with getting up at night. I was the one that was, and I think that we're as moms, like, especially like if we were breastfeeding, we were the one that give birth, whatever. We're so like immediately changed, like hormonally and like, we kind of don't have a choice. We're the ones with more leave.

Melis: We're the ones at home with the baby, you know, those, and we just have to we're thrown in and we have to get comfortable. Yeah. And I think Sean had to like, be a bit more intentional about like, he could help in other ways, but helping with the baby is, is more of an intentional choice, especially when he's not like feeding. Right. So I think that, like, it took us a while to like find our groove and it having a second actually really was a different experience, I think, for both of us because we were wiser.

Melis: And like as our son got older now, like him and Sean, like, Hey, like I'm not even like involved. I'm not cool enough to be in their club. But I think like I felt a lot of like resentment, I think at first, because I was like, I'm so different. Everything's so, so, so different. And I remember being like ten days postpartum and like just started crying.

Melis: I was like, I hate my life. I hate my body. I hate my. I was like, oh gosh, like, what is coming? It's all fine.

Melis: I was like, no, it's all fine. Like I'm the middle am I. And, I felt a lot of resentment. Like, he didn't feel those, like, big, big, big feeling. And even just like the guilt of going, like, when he would just go out for a run, he'd be like, oh, we're gonna work out.

Melis: I'll be like, aren't you, like, worried that something's gonna happen to your kids? They're like, they're not okay or, you know? Yeah. And it took me a while. I have, like, voiceless feeling.

Erica: Yeah. And

Melis: it took me a while to realize, like, I can do that too. And he's happy to be around our children and take care of them. Like, it's this is totally a me thing. Me feeling guilty. Yeah.

Melis: You know, me feeling like putting that pressure on myself. And, and once I, I think also taking on this role that I'm in now is busier. So it kind of forced me to have to ask for help. I think my last role, I had a little bit more flexibility that I could sort of do more on the home side. And now it's just like when you're kind of forced to be a higher, like working at a higher level or more hours than like it really pushed me into needing help.

Erica: Yeah. When I think back to when I had my son and it was like, okay, I have this new baby, but I still have to work out, you know? Mhmm. I now have to breastfeed and I also now have to pump because I'm going to Mhmm. I have a supply in the fridge.

Erica: Of course. And I also have to and then like all of these tasks got added to my task list, you know? And again, like you said, it was all a me thing. Like I very easily could have asked my husband, Hey, I need you to go look up six daycares for me in the area and call them and see if they even have availability. Right.

Melis: But did I do that?

Erica: No, because I've had the feeling and the need to do it all myself. Right? Yeah. So I just kept adding and adding and adding, and I would get up earlier and earlier and earlier and kinda like to your point, it got to this blue where everything just like blew up. You know?

Erica: And then and my husband's like, oh my god. I don't know what's going on here. You know? Where am I coming from? But it's because we put up this, you know, this face mask of, like, not only is everything okay, but I'm still the same person I was before I had a kid.

Erica: And now I'm just even bigger and better and stronger and I got things and then it just explodes.

Melis: Yeah. It's awful. And I do believe that becoming a mom made me better. Like I really do believe that I was so worried and I'm like, I was, I was, I kept, that was like an early postpartum. I kept thinking like, when am I gonna feel like myself?

Melis: And now I realize that, like, I'm never actually gonna go back to that person. Yep. But like, I'm a better version of her. Yep. But, yeah, I think, like, now, like, I'm I'm very, very lucky.

Melis: I know that everyone's positioned to either have a partner or have such a supportive partner. And Sean was like, he emailed the school and was like, can you have my email to the to the, whatever the communication? Cause it was just me. You know, I'm not looking at it. I'm reading it wrong.

Melis: Even this week, they have like some concert. I thought it was on Wednesday, we cleared our schedules and then he checked it and he was like, it's on Friday. Oh my gosh. So just also having him sort of force me to, like

Erica: Hey there, listeners. If you have ever felt like you're stuck in a place, held back by self doubt, perfectionism, or that pesky inner critic, you're not alone. We all face those sticky floors that keep us from reaching the heights we dream of. But guess what? It's time to shatter those limiting beliefs and toxic behaviors to uncover infinite possibilities.

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Melis: Let him in to this world of all that other stuff so that I'm not alone and losing my mind trying to keep up. Right.

Erica: So I always love to ask, like, how did you overcome or how are you dealing with? Right. Because overcoming perfectionism may not be like an attainable goal. Right. But it could be something that we work towards every day.

Erica: You talked a little bit about accepting help and hiring help and all about

Melis: Yeah.

Erica: What are some other things that you think, you know, helped you or is helping you manage this perfectionism?

Melis: I think just changing my definition of success internally. Like, you know, I've, like I said, I made all my baby food for Declan and now my daughter, Rory, I buy the packets. I'm like, it's fine. It's gonna be fine. You know?

Melis: And even I had this, like, I felt like I needed to feed my kids three meals a day. And now my nanny, Nikki, who's amazing, she'll do lunch with Rory so I can get a little bit more work done. And part of me still feel a little guilty about that, but I know that then come 05:00, I can be done with my work and I can cook dinner for her and be fully present as opposed to like trying to juggle. Cause you can't do two things at once. Well, like you just try to be, you know, doing work and feeding her.

Melis: Like that's crazy. It's not gonna happen. So yeah, changing my expectation of success, like I don't need to run six miles. I can run three or jump on a thirty minute ride and that's perfectly fine. You know, it's not, I don't need to exhaust myself or dedicate two hours.

Melis: And yeah, hiring help, allowing, I think trusting my partner to do a good job, which I'm so sad to say, but I think a lot of women feel that way that only they can take care of their babies the best way possible and trusting that like Sean, like is amazing is amazing to add and, will do it and be happy to do it. You know?

Erica: You decide. Sometimes ask.

Melis: Yeah. Ask and allow. I think he also just used to pester me about like, let's eat out tonight. You don't have to cook. Let's order pizza.

Melis: I'd be like, no, I gotta cook. Nah.

Erica: Like crazy.

Melis: I

Erica: went to the grocery store. I already planned on the meal.

Melis: I have the dinner. I'm working. Yeah. And now we have like a nice routine, especially I go into the office once a week. So Mondays, when I go into the office, that's our pizza night, and I don't have to worry about coming home and trying to cook and all those things.

Melis: It's just, you know, I'm just really trying to just let go of doing everything and rest is okay. I don't have to earn my rest. You know, I deserve to rest.

Erica: Yeah. That's actually a really great and powerful statement because I do feel like so many women feel like they have to earn the halftime, you know?

Melis: Yes. Always. And I feel guilty when I'm sitting around when I could be doing something. And that's just crazy. It's crazy mentality.

Melis: Like, when you just burn yourself to the ground in the end, you know, no one wants that. You gotta be

Erica: And then you're no good for anybody.

Melis: No. It's terrible.

Erica: Then you are no good for anybody. I, one time, you know, too, like, as your kids get older and stuff and, like, you start having activities, like, we're at that phase now where we Yeah. Baseball practice and swim practice and, like, your life is not your own anymore at this point. Right? Like, you become this chauffeur and a scheduler and now there's a lot of other things.

Erica: Right? Yep. And I think it's also, you know, and it's something that I'm working on too, important to realize that you don't have to be at everything all the time. You know? Yeah.

Erica: I don't need to go to every single one of my kids' baseball practices and games. I need to go to the important ones, you know? Mhmm. But it's also important for him to know, like, mommy's not coming today because mommy is doing the 50 other things that are going to keep this household running and you're gonna have dinner on, on the table. Yeah.

Melis: Because I'm not good. Yeah. Yeah. And it's really cool to my mother-in-law, has she's like top of her field, always worked. And my mom stayed home and I'm very grateful for that.

Melis: I had an amazing childhood. And, but I love having part of my life to talk about this stuff, but hearing how Sean talks about her and how he saw her and how hard she works, he's like, she's such a badass. Like she's so I'm like hearing about his perception of her, especially in childhood, like makes me so happy to know that hopefully when Rory and Declan are older, they'll see me as someone like admirable that worked hard and know that like, especially daughter to know that she doesn't have kids, she can still have a career and still find self fulfillment and provide for her family and whatever. And like, especially for my son too, to know that like women are powerful and that we can do really great things and, and, you know, be multifaceted. So it's really like, it's just nice to kind of at least get some insight and to see how Sean talks about this job and, and know that like that will hopefully happen for me as well.

Erica: Oh my gosh. I have no doubt that will happen briefly. So this, you know, ongoing perfectionism battle that I think a lot of working mothers, you know, are facing today. Are there any other challenges that you're currently facing?

Melis: I think just finding, like, I feel like I'm drinking for a fire hose. So I think just like trying to prioritize and know that like having a rolling to do list is alright. I think again, I guess it ties back into that perfectionism. I just wanna be do everything and get it all done. And it's cool.

Melis: Like my team that I work with now are really seasoned leaders and I love that we can be really open about like, what are you working on this week? What are you not gonna get done this week? And it's not in like a well, why don't you get that done? It's a, that's fine. Let's prioritize.

Melis: Yep. You don't need to do everything badly. You don't, you know, you don't need to work an eighty hour week, but where are we gonna focus on this week? Where are we gonna put on hold? That's the first environment I've worked in that's so open about that stuff.

Melis: I think we all do it and know that like, ah, I can do that this week, but I love that we can lead that way and be like very upfront. And then it's like, Hey, how can I support you? How can we do more? It's just a really cool culture to have and just, you know, avoids burnout, hopefully, and, and people feeling overwhelmed or, like I said, doing things bad.

Erica: Well, and I think that really supports working moms, you know, who fight this need to get everything done and have their emails at zero.

Melis: Okay. Yeah.

Erica: Every ask, you know, checked off on their to do list that, like, it's okay. And to that point, we'd rather you do it well than do all these things poorly because you're just trying to say you got it done.

Melis: Yeah. And I love, like, I'm really make it made a point to bring my whole self to work. I think that, I don't wanna hide the fact that I have young kids and that being a mom is really important to me. And so one of our co founders, Irene, she's amazing. She has four children on her own.

Melis: Yeah. So having someone that I work with that's in that boat and then also many parents I work with too. Just so like when I'm open about like, hey, I have to pump, but can I jump on the call, like, while I'm pumping? Like, do you care? And she's like, girl, I've been there.

Melis: Like, that's fine. Or saying, hey, my kid just threw up on me. I'm gonna miss this call. And everyone's like, fine. Like, let's give it I have to hide that.

Melis: I'll be like, I have a family emergency. I don't have to stay nice. I'm growling over here. I'll be back. It's just much healthier and like more honest.

Melis: Like, why are we kinda odd that we have kids or

Erica: we're odd

Melis: that we got chaos?

Erica: No. I love that because so many people will come up with non truths. Right? Because they have to take care of a family emergency. I have a hard stop.

Erica: I have a doctor's appointment when really your kids play or whatever it is. You know? Just be real.

Melis: Yeah. And, like, especially now that I'm in an early stage company, like, I'm the first people ops hire. I think what I do can really impact culture. So I wanna be a 100% from a place that like people, if people see that, like, their people ops person is saying, like, I'm gonna jump on a Peloton for thirty minutes. Yeah.

Melis: I'll be back. They know that they can do that too. Or that I'm taking my kid to school. Like, I'm I'm not gonna make that call knowing that they can be that way as well. I think it'll help retention.

Melis: It'll help, like, company efforts, but it also just helps people feel good about what they're doing. I just like, I love your business. Complete.

Erica: A 100%. No. I absolutely love that. So knowing what you know now, you know, head of people ops, busy mom, you got a lot of stuff to do. What would you tell your 22 year old self who's, like, just getting out of college and handed the keys to this Target store.

Erica: What advice would you give her?

Melis: Oh, that's a really good question. I think I would just tell her to like chill out. I would think that my, my boss that I talked to talk to my first boss, Shavarris, he used to always say that I was too urgent. Stop muscling it, leave through your team. I still hear his voice in my head.

Melis: And I was very much like a bulldozer of I wanna get this done and if you're not gonna do it, I am. And that's not helpful. It's very in character for myself. It's not, the right way to go about things. And I think I really wanted success very, very quickly.

Melis: And it takes time and you get there in the end. And, like, I fully believe that there's a path laid out for me and that I'm going along this path where it's gonna be fine. I just need to, like, relax. And I think I worry so much about like, what's the next thing. What's the next win?

Melis: What's the next goal? What can I get? And it's just like, chill, like do what you're doing and you're going down. You're going to be fine. Yeah.

Melis: And all of that. I love that.

Erica: And then if somebody wanted to connect with you, where can they find you?

Melis: You can go on LinkedIn, Kelly on LinkedIn, and, they can also email me, melis.kelly@aprilhomes.com. I love talking about being more a pain mom and all of their, like, crazy things. I think that we're starting to talk about it more, but I still think it's one of those things that people aren't, like, super open about how hard it can be. And it's I love when I, like, talk to either bond friends or I meet people in the pumping room that the office and like, man, this sucks. Like, this sucks.

Melis: Like, it's just nice to know that other people feel those same feelings that you do.

Erica: Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, thank you so much for your time. We'll put all that information in the show notes, your LinkedIn profile, your email, so people can reach out to you. But I really appreciate having you on the show and this was awesome.

Erica: Thanks.

Melis: Yeah. Thank you so much.