Updated: Sep 28, 2022
You just might be the THING that is keeping you stuck...
We tell ourselves ALL sorts of things to justify our decisions and actions, or rather, the lack thereof.
When life is hard, time is short, and situations are tough, we often choose the easy way out.
You have heard, the saying, “that if it was easy, anyone would do it?”
The human body and mind are made to long for the familiar. Especially when it comes to our careers. The job you have been in for 10 years is a lot easier to do on a daily basis, than getting up early, job hunting, networking, and filling out applications. That takes time. It takes effort. It takes WORK. So we stay. We say, “Maybe I’ll start tomorrow.” We go to work, we do the mundane, and we come home. Unfulfilled. Unsatisfied. But comfortable.
In short, we lie to ourselves, because it is easier. We don’t have to face the fear of failure. The fear of rejection. The fear of vulnerability.
These are the LIES that will keep you stuck, and what you will need to do, to break free from this sticky floor.
Lie #1 - I don't have time.
WRONG. You don’t make the time. Everyone has the same 24 hours in the day. You must make the time to do the things.
Think about it… how much time do you spend scrolling through your phone, looking at Instagram, Facebook, and the one that personally keeps me sucked in - TIKTOK?
What can you do?
Time blocking works ya’ll. I hate to say it, but when you actually plan out your day with time blocking, you stay focused on the task at hand. I am a sucker for going into email throughout the day, which takes my attention and focus away from the task at hand, which leads to it taking more time.
If you are a social media junkie, there are apps where you can plug in how much time you want to allow yourself to spend on social media apps, and they actually lock you OUT once you hit your allotted time. (Think parental controls for adults!)
Lie #2 - I'm not qualified enough to do the job.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
Not all companies are looking for a person who meets all the qualifications. They are often looking for a person that knows just enough, that they can TRAIN them in how their company does it. Sure, some roles call for subject matter expertise. But as a Chief People Officer, I can tell you that I look for someone with the “can do” attitude, who embodies our culture and has a positive mindset. All the skills and expertise in the world will not fix a poor culture, and will often be the most expensive bad hire you can make. You need to go ahead and apply and interview for the job anyways. You just might surprise yourself!
The one thing I do know is that you miss 100% of the shots you do not take. So, take the shot. Take the interview. Take the chance on yourself. Remember the job doesn’t go to the most qualified person. It goes to the person who shows how they bring value to the position in the best way - and that is not always through skills!
"That thing you really want to do? You should go do it."
Lie #3 - I have never ______ (Insert FEAR here)
This could be “I have never worked in this industry before.” “I have never held this level position before.” “I have never been a people leader before.”
This could be ANYTHING that gives you apprehensive, anxiety, and fear because it's not something you have done before. But remember, everyone was new at something at some point. Serena Williams was new at tennis. Sheryl Sandberg had never given a public presentation before. And YOU had never done ALL THE THINGS that you are currently a BALLER at. If this is a lie you tell yourself, I want you to do this RIGHT NOW. Shoot, even if this isn’t a lie you tell yourself, I want everyone to do this right now! It is a great confidence booster.
Close your eyes. And think about something that everyone has told you, that you do really well. What is it that people ask of you often? Maybe you bake the best cherry pie. Maybe you give great dating advice. Maybe you make the most beautiful paintings. Whatever it is - take a moment and think back to the things people have said to you about that gift. And remember, that you were once a beginner at that as well. And NOW look at you!!! Feel that boost?
Lie #4 - There are others out there who are better than me.
First of all… Unless you are the world record holder, the answer is yes. There are, most likely, others out there who are better than you. But do they do it in the same way you do? Likely not! Take ME for example. There are plenty of other people out there who host podcasts. There are plenty of people out there who are focused on empowering women. Why me? Because there isn’t someone out there, just like me, delivering the message just like, me and connecting with people the way I do! There just aren’t!
Don’t get it twisted! Sometimes I have to remind myself of that. Sometimes I need others to straighten my crown for me. And for all my Winnie the Pooh lovers out there- just remember the Tigger song where he says “The wonderful thing about Tigger is that I’m the only one!
There have been a few times in my career that I have been pleasantly surprised. At least, I was surprised to land a job, a promotion, or even a certain salary mark. Hell, one time, I interviewed for a job and was offered a salary. I came in and countered for a bit more, and then they came in $10,000 OVER that ask! Because they wanted ME! They wanted to seal the deal! And let us just take a minute to say their tactic worked. I absolutely joined that company. I felt seen, I felt heard, and I felt valued as a professional.
I got one solution for you.
Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable.
That space outside your comfort zone? You should go live there.
It is not easy. In fact, it can be really hard. It can also be riddled with disappointment. I’m not saying that every time I step outside my comfort zone, I am rewarded handsomely. I have been rejected. I have been ignored. I have been downright laughed at! But through each of those encounters, I have learned something of value.
We lie to ourselves because it is easier.
We lie to ourselves because it's safe.
We lie to ourselves and we keep ourselves small.
But we aren’t meant to be small. We are meant to be big, and to be bold, and to be powerful.
We are meant to be living a life filled with purpose and excitement, and filled with things that just light us UP inside.
It is time to stop telling yourself these lies. It is time to start living.