Erica: Hey, girl. By now, you know I have Her Collective, my online community for ambitious women who are done doing it alone. Her Collective is for the women who are smart, capable, and driven, but they find themselves stuck on the sticky floors like self doubt, burnout, and waiting for permission that quite honestly never comes. Inside HER, you get more than motivation. You get real support, real strategies, and real momentum.

Erica: We work on things like clarifying what you want now and what's coming next, building confidence without burning yourself out, navigating hard conversations, career moves, and leadership moments with clarity, and surrounding yourself with women who actually get it. This isn't about hustling harder. It's about moving intentionally with the right tools and the right people in your corner. If you're ready to stop spinning, start choosing yourself, and build a career in life that actually feels aligned, I'd love to welcome you inside her collective. You can learn more and join us at www.joinhercollective.com.

Erica: Because honestly, girl, you were never meant to do this alone. Why is it that one bad moment, one missed opportunity, or one negative comment can ruin your entire day, even when everything else is going fantastic. Seriously. And the reason I want to talk about this today is because I have my own personal story that I want to share with you today. And that is, most of y'all know, I left corporate about a month and a half ago.

Erica: Things have been rocking and rolling. I mean, amazing things have been happening. I've been getting gigs booked. I've been taking on more coaching clients. Truly letting go of that corporate life is opening up infinite possibilities for me in my own business.

Erica: But here I am rocking along, and I send out this pitch, this proposal. It gets accepted. We're into contract talks. It's going back and forth. The contract looks great.

Erica: And then a few days before the event, they cancel. They give me a call, and they say, it's just not going to work out right now. And I'm not going to get into the details because that doesn't matter. But when I tell you that that sent me down a rabbit hole where I completely spiraled and focused on all of the horrible, no good, awful things that were going on, forgetting everything else that was coming my way, that is exactly what happened. And I know that I'm not alone on this one, and so that is why I wanted to dive in today into why one bad thing can overshadow all of the good in our lives.

Erica: And y'all, it is a phenomenon. It is a phenomenon called negativity bias, and we all experience it. But here's the deal. Y'all, we can train our minds to stop letting that one bad thing steal the show, and I'm going to tell you exactly how to do it.

Erica: You are listening to the Glass Ceiling and Sticky Floor podcast, the podcast that will empower you to shatter limiting beliefs and toxic behaviors to uncover infinite possibilities so you can live your best life. I'm Erica Rooney, and I'm on a mission to bring more women into positions of power and keep them there. I am obsessed with all things growth and abundance, and I'm here to talk you through the tried and true secrets to get you to level up your career and your life. We talk about the hard stuff here, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, fear, and burnout. And today, we're talking all about negativity bias.

Erica: So pull up a seat, pop in an earbud, and let's dive in. Alright, y'all. Let's chat about that one gig. It was a big one.

Erica: And it felt like, wow. I can really do this. It felt like I can really make it. And I think because of the timing with when I left corporate and when this deal hit and then when this deal got lost, it really just affirmed all of these doubts that I had about myself and doubts about being able to grow my business and make a living. And when I got that phone call that said it wasn't going to work out, it really did rip the rug right out from underneath me.

Erica: And y'all, I asked myself, is this a sign that I'm not cut out for this? Did I make a huge mistake leaving corporate, leaving those golden handcuffs and a really cushy salary? And are other people going to think it's a failure? Because I told people I had this gig in the bag. It really did not matter that I had booked two more coaching clients, that my schedule was booking up, that I had holds on other days in my calendar for upcoming events, and that my inbox was still just buzzing with opportunities.

Erica: It felt like that no, not right now, this isn't happening, was the loudest voice in the room. And what I was experiencing, it wasn't me being overly dramatic. That is the negativity bias. And negativity bias, y'all, it is the psychological tendency to give more weight to those negative experiences, those bad things, those negative comments than positive ones. And it is hardwired into us for survival.

Erica: So back in the day, y'all know when our ancestors were out there focusing on saber tooth tigers and whatnot, they had to be able to look for the threats to survive. So if there was a rustle in the bushes, that could be danger. So their brains were primed to always pay attention to the bad things. Now the problem with that is in today's world, negativity bias isn't alerting us to danger, but it does make us feel like the rejection is the end of the world. So it could show up like one negative comment on your social media feed drowning out all the 50 other positive ones.

Erica: It could be one missed opportunity makes you question your entire worth, or it could be one setback overshadowing your entire progress. Now another reason why I am so interested in this right now is because I saw the most amazing TikTok or Instagram reel where it had a woman standing between two big glass jars. Both were empty. And every time something positive happened or was said, a little marble dropped into one of the jars. And then one negative comment was said, and that dropped into the other jar.

Erica: So you had one jar that was filled with all of these, you're beautiful, you're smart, you're talented, you're so good at what you do, you're making an impact, you're courageous. Tons in that jar. And then in the other jar, one missed gig. One marble. And in this TikTok or reel, the woman looks at both of the jars.

Erica: She can clearly see with her brain that there is so much more in the positivity jar, and there's only one little marble in the other jar. And what does she do? She pushes over that one jar that is filled with all the amazing things about her and lets it crash and shatter to the floor. And then she takes that other jar that has the one marble and she hugs it in close to her chest and she just looks down at that one negative thing. And that was a 100% what I was doing and I know that some of you have done that too.

Erica: And so I just want to pause for a second. And I want to say that if you've ever felt like this, you're not alone. Clearly, I'm right there with you, but it's okay to feel that sting of rejection. I had to go through the grief of losing that gig, and I had to go through the disappointment, and it's okay to feel that. What is not okay is letting that one thing derail everything else that's going on.

Erica: So for me, losing that gig, it wasn't just that opportunity. More opportunities will come along, but it tapped deeper into those limiting beliefs and the fears that I have, the imposter syndrome, perfectionism, the fear of not being enough. Those feelings are real. Those feelings also deserve acknowledgment.

Erica: And here's the truth. They come at you in waves. These feelings, they come and they go and they come and they go, but you cannot let the bad ones drag you under. And this is where my snap method comes in. And for those of you who have gone out there, you've bought my book Glass Ceilings and Sticky Floors.

Erica: It hit shelves this month, November 12. Very exciting. But that's what I talk about in this book. I talk about the snap method, and it's all about recognizing. Recognizing that moment is about reframing the narrative and then stepping into your power.

Erica: And so I want to talk about how you can apply that when negativity bias takes over. So real quick, let's recap what is SNAP and what does it stand for? SNAP is my four step science backed framework y'all to help you break free from the limiting beliefs and the toxic behaviors that keep you stuck. S stands for stop and take note of the physical sensations in the body, N is name that sticky floor, A is ask and answer some deep and personal questions, and P is pivot. So now that we've got that basic understanding, let's walk through what that looks like in this situation because I want you to be able to take this back and apply it in your life when you are really stuck and ruminating on that one negative thing when everything else around you is going well.

Erica: So for me, I got that rejection phone call, and I felt this heaviness, very heavy feeling on my chest. And on my heart too, honestly. And I got really quiet. I kind of go inward when I feel those types of rejections and negative emotions. When normally I'm very gregarious and outgoing, I get really quiet. But I felt anxious, and I felt terrible, really, and almost a little panicky. So that is where the stop comes in, because I could notice those sensations in my body. So I had to stop and take note. Erica, this is not normal.

Erica: Acknowledge where you're feeling, what's going on. Because putting that pause and noticing your physical sensations in your body, which are the first clue that something is up, it allows you to then name your sticky floor. And when you name what is going on, that is when you can start to take the power and agency over it. So I named my sticky floor, and I had to really dig deep on that one. But for me, it was the sticky floor of worthiness and just feeling like I wasn't worthy.

Erica: I wasn't good enough. So I had to ask and answer some really deep questions about why I was feeling this way. So the first question that I always ask, and I beg of you to ask yourself the same question is number one, is this thought helpful? Because 99.99% of the time, it is not a helpful thought. So obviously, all the thoughts I was having about not being good enough, never going to make this business work, failure failure failure failure.

Erica: It's not helpful. And, also, the next question, is it true? No.

Erica: It's also not true. I just got paid for a gig the other day, and I've got three more holds on my calendar in a span of just a couple weeks. So it's obviously not true. And then you need to start thinking about, why am I thinking this? Why is this having such an impact on me?

Erica: And for me, I think a lot of it came with the timing. It came from the timing, and it came from the fear of rejection. And when you understand kind of why you're feeling the way you're feeling and what's going on, that's when you can peel back the onion and really get to that root of the problem, which allows you to then move into the pivot, which is where we all need to live. And the pivot is simply the reframe. So for me, this was one gig.

Erica: This was one opportunity. And, truthfully, this gig falling apart had nothing to do with me, my skills, my abilities, or my worthiness to be in this space. But it had everything to do with poor planning and communication on their part. But y'all, let's get back to that pivot. I am a firm believer that rejection is protection.

Erica: So I embrace that because, truthfully, I will never know what missing out on this gig saved me from. Maybe I was going to get in a car crash on the way there. I don't know. Or maybe I was just making room for something more meaningful and something more impactful to come through. Again, when these rejections happen, you may never know or understand the reason behind it, but I really do believe in my core that rejection is protection.

Erica: And so that was my pivot. That was my reframe. Alright, y'all. So if you feel stuck in this place, if this resonates with you and you're like, yep, I really go all in on that one negative comment, I want you to remember that negativity bias, it might be hardwired. It might be just a piece of who we are, but it does not have to be our destiny, y'all.

Erica: We do not have to let one bad moment take over our entire day. So remember, also, this is a big one, the story that you tell yourself matters. So instead of telling yourself all of the negative things and all of the bad things and instead of letting all of that be true, I want you to use my snap method and rewrite it. Pivot it. You are more than one rejection.

Erica: You are more than one bad day and you are certainly more than one missed opportunity. And y'all, you have to remember this and I'm a big believer that infinite possibilities are out there and infinite possibilities exist. So one rejection, that stands no chance against infinite possibilities. Alright, y'all. If this episode resonated with you, let me know.

Erica: I want to know. Send me a DM or a message on Instagram or LinkedIn and tell me how you are snapping out of the negativity bias in your life right now. Don't forget. Share this episode with someone that you know who might need it today. And I just want to say thank you so much for listening.

Erica: Please rate, review and subscribe. Y'all know it helps the podcast. If you're watching this on YouTube, do the YouTube subscription follow thing. And go out there and buy my book. Y'all I promise you I will not spam you every single episode about this book forever, but definitely for a while.

Erica: But thank you for listening. Thank you for watching. Thank you for joining. And in case no one else has told you today, you're freaking awesome.