Erica: Hey, girl. By now, you know I have Her Collective, my online community for ambitious women who are done doing it alone. Her Collective is for the women who are smart, capable, and driven, but they find themselves stuck on the sticky floors like self doubt, burnout, and waiting for permission that quite honestly never comes. Inside HER, you get more than motivation. You get real support, real strategies, and real momentum.

Erica: We work on things like clarifying what you want now and what's coming next, building confidence without burning yourself out, navigating hard conversations, career moves, and leadership moments with clarity, and surrounding yourself with women who actually get it. This isn't about hustling harder. It's about moving intentionally with the right tools and the right people in your corner. If you're ready to stop spinning, start choosing yourself, and build a career in life that actually feels aligned, I'd love to welcome you inside her collective. You can learn more and join us at www.joinhercollective.com.

Erica: Because honestly, girl, you were never meant to do this alone. One of my favorite Peloton instructors, Alex Toussaint, who if you don't know him, he is super energizing and very much a hype man, Always ends his classes with look good, feel good, do better. And while we know that looks aren't everything, you know that when you feel good about how you look, your confidence soars. And when your confidence soars, you do better. When you do better, you get more shit done, and you can reach unimaginable heights.

Erica: Ellie Steinbrink is an expert stylist and a personal brand coach. And as a working mom and business owner, she knows firsthand how difficult it can be to make yourself and your style a priority. And so she gets the desire to look and feel your best. But most importantly, the power that it can have on your personal and work life when you are working from a place of complete confidence in how you look. She created Style Decoded, a virtual personal styling service, because she saw firsthand women like you, like me, who, and no shame here, have been living in our yoga pants and sweats while their kids run around in the perfect outfit.

Erica: She saw that we were out there struggling to find the time and the energy to create the unique style that feels like our authentic self. Her mission is all about removing the confusion and the clutter to clarity and simplicity. Stylish, but we all know looks can be deceiving. And Ellie's story begins in fear, in burnout, and in unrealistic expectations. But those sticky floors didn't stop her from starting a new career from scratch and finding joy, peace, and happiness.

Ellie: Ellie, welcome to the podcast. How are you? Thank you so much for having me, Erica. I'm really excited about this conversation.

Erica: Well, I am so excited because as I sit here in my Amazon sweatpants and my stained sweatshirt to talk about fashion made simple and how this is going to help me feel joyful again. Because, Ellie, if I'm honest, when I have to think about what to wear or what to pack for different events and just how to pull it all together so that I feel my best, it is a little stressful. But before we dive into all that and all the amazing work that you're doing,

Ellie: I would love to hear a little bit more about how we came to be and who you are and just everything style expert. Absolutely. My story is unique. It was what I call one of these loopy wavy paths as opposed to the very straight path. I grew up in a very small rural town in Iowa.

Ellie: I actually grew up on a farm, so I'm a farm girl at heart and had a great childhood. I do have lots of memories of me playing dress up and carrying a lot. I would change my outfit probably at least five times a day for the various different things I was doing. I probably drove my mom crazy, but, you know, even as a little girl, I was already inspired and felt that there was a way to express myself through what I was wearing even on the farm.

Ellie: Grew up, decided I wanted to go to college and work in the advertising industry. And I did just that. I spent about twenty years of my career working in advertising agencies or working in branding. I remember very distinctly at this one particular ad agency where I spent most of my time. I was there for almost twelve years.

Ellie: I started at the lowest level account executive you could have and worked my way up all the way to at the end of my time, I was the director of client services. And I kept thinking, I finally made it. This is it. This is what I had been wanting to do, you know, from the time I set foot out to go to college and go on this path. Except the one problem, Erica, was that I got to that level and realized that I was exactly in the wrong spot.

Ellie: I have a good friend of mine that says she uses an analogy of basically I climbed the ladder all the way to the top to realize that my ladder was leaning up against the wrong building completely. And so by that point, I had already had both of my kids. I was stressed out and maxed out to my limit. I was completely burned out to the point where I felt like I was holding none of the balls really well in the air. My body was getting sick.

Ellie: I was going to the emergency room. My body was telling me, you need to get out of this for many reasons. I was overworking myself, but I think probably the bigger thing was that I knew I was not in the right spot. And if anyone has been in this particular situation where you get to what you think is the pinnacle of your career and then you secretly inside, you just know it's not the thing, it is a horrible, horrible feeling. You just wanna escape.

Ellie: And I didn't know how to escape, really, because, one, it was hard to just be honest about what is it that I wanna do. This is all I've ever known. This is all I've ever trained for. What do I do? But to make a long story short, I really had a wonderful benefit feeling what I wanted to do next, and the idea of styling came up.

Ellie: But honestly, at that point in my life, I wasn't quite brave enough to make that step. I think in my heart of hearts, I knew that's what I wanted to do. And in fact, all throughout my career, I would have people say to me, why don't you just come shopping with me? Can you just come into my closet? Can you help me figure this out?

Ellie: And I remember thinking, well, wouldn't that be a dream? As if this could be my life. But I always just sort of passed it off as something not really serious enough to put time and effort into. I don't know why. There was something in my mind that what I was doing was much more serious and legitimate in terms of a career choice than this other thing.

Ellie: But luckily, what I did learn in the time working with this coach was that the very next step I needed to take was I didn't necessarily need to solve my whole career problem. But what happened for me is I decided to take it was technically a part time role. It was a thirty hour job still in the marketing industry. I was doing all the content marketing and all the branding work for a small company. The nice thing about that job is that it gave me a little more space in my life because prior to that, I was working every available hour I had.

Ellie: I gave myself no space to think, really. So that was a wonderful gift, to be able to continue working, albeit in the marketing industry, but do it with a little more space and boundaries around my time. And what that allowed me to do was to be able to just clear my mind. So during my time there, I started to have sort of this weird woo moment. I was meditating, and I remember so distinctively.

Ellie: And you guys, I know this sounds very woo, and I'd say this would be everyone's experience, this is the only time it's ever happened to me, but I remember opening my eyes from this meditation session. And something said, you need to go do something with the styling passion that is in you. You need to go do something with it.

Ellie: And so I was still working with this part time job and I said, okay, what do I do with this? And so that night, I was like, okay, I'm gonna just start posting through an Instagram account. I'm gonna start talking about style.

Ellie: I'm gonna post my outfits. I'm going not for the sake of buy what I'm wearing, but for the sake of talking about style. And I made a promise to myself. I said, I'm just gonna start doing this on the side. I have no intention of leaving my job right now.

Ellie: I just wanna play around and see how it feels. And so I said, I'm just gonna do this every day. I'm gonna post something about style. If I ever get bored with it, or feel like it's a chore, if I get burnt out with it, I'm just gonna stop. Because right now, there's no commitment.

Ellie: And I can tell you that since that started, I haven't stopped. So I guess that tells me something. But we were in 2020, and I ended up losing my job because of the pandemic. And it was actually the best blessing in disguise because what it did is it literally shoved me off the edge of the cliff, which I'm not really sure had I been left to my own actions if I would have done that on my own. But in that time between when I first started posting, I was doing a little bit of styling on the side, and I was really getting into it.

Ellie: I was loving it, and everything in me was saying, I want more. I wanna do more. I wanna talk about this more. I wanna share more. And so when I did lose my job, it was really the push I needed to be able to say, okay.

Ellie: Just trust yourself and just start doing this. And so that's where it started. I started a styling business in 2020. Isn't that brilliant?

Erica: I was gonna say when everybody is wearing what I'm still wearing today, which is the same sweatshirt and

Ellie: Amazon pants. Exactly. So scary, but it worked. And not only am I styling clients one to one, I speak on why style matters and how it affects essentially you achieving your goals. And I'm also a personal brand coach.

Ellie: So using all of that knowledge I gained when I worked in the marketing industry, I understand what it's like to work in a professional environment. I understand what it means to brand yourself, and that includes your style. So that's how I came to be.

Erica: I mean, Ellie, that's a great story, and I feel like we have a lot to unpack here. And this sticky floor of finding yourself climbing up the ladder and being at the top of the wrong building is not one that I haven't heard before. I hear this a lot from women, but I think what happens is we don't know what to do or how to take that next step because we have poured so much of our time and energy. And by that point, we have family, we have kids, we have partners, we have responsibilities to take care of. It's not like we can just pick up and find this new job.

Erica: So how did you really say I am going to trust my gut on this one? Because what I also love about your story is that, for lack of better words, fashion and style feels a little fluff when you think of, like you said, not as legitimate to use

Ellie: your words.

Erica: Right? And so you're going from this legitimate career to one that feels a little fluff. Which also brings me to my next point that I love. I love it when passion pays the bills.

Erica: So Amen. I think that number one, amazing. This is a note for everybody out there, including myself, to not even allow something like the, quote, legitimate job versus the nonlegitimate job because if it's gonna pay the bills, it's legitimate.

Ellie: That's right. Yeah. I think there's a lot of things there. One is to kind of check your thinking on what is legitimate and what is not because that was another challenge. This is a little bit of a different topic than what you brought up.

Ellie: But, you know, what I realized once I started styling is not all stylists are the same, and I didn't need to be a carbon copy of any other stylist. So I had to just sort of carve out what felt passionate to me and exciting to me. But let me back up to your other question, because you're talking about the sticky floor moment of that moment where I realize I'm in the wrong place. And how do I make that transition? Well, I think for me, when I was at that place at the top of my game, let's just say making a wonderful salary, life should have been perfect.

Ellie: It wasn't. In fact, I was crumbling, not only mentally, but physically. And I remember one of the times my husband, who is very supportive, made a very honest comment that something's gotta give here. I see how much you're stressed out. You're ending up in the ER for various different things.

Ellie: Your body is telling you something's gotta give. So what's that something? And in those moments, you don't want to really admit that you're not doing a good job of holding it all together because you think you are, even though maybe inside you're feeling completely jumbled. You still think you're putting on a good front. Like, I'm still killing it at work.

Ellie: I'm still being the best mom and wife and friend and all these roles you play. But when someone so close to you says, I don't think you're holding this together, and we need to figure out something different, that was kind of when I allowed myself to say, okay, I really can't do this anymore. But I think my decision to not immediately jump from that job to, let's say, styling.

Ellie: Because when that came up with my coach, there was still some hesitation there for me. I hadn't fully wrapped my head around that because quite honestly, my head was wrapped around how burned out I was and how stressed out I was with two little kids. I had a newborn and a three year old at that time. And it was just too much for me to comprehend. So my next best step was, okay, I know my daughter's going to kindergarten.

Ellie: I know that I wanna still work. I was clear about that. So I think my advice would be, and this was hard for me, because when I know I wanna change, I want it all to be fixed right now. I don't have the patience to be like, if you want ten things, I don't wanna do just the one thing. But it ended up being wonderful to take one step that gave me more freedom that allowed me not to be a psychotic workaholic.

Ellie: And it's funny how when that happens, then things become more clear. I think then all of those feelings I had about styling then started to bubble up, and I had a little more time to think about, well, what might this be like? And is this just a frivolous thing that will always be something on the side, or is this something I can create a legitimate career out of? Ellie, what I heard was you don't have to go all

Erica: in, and you don't have to make this big massive change, but you do have to take one step forward. I think the message really is, number one, pay attention if it's actually not working. And I think that it can work.

Erica: I think it can work until you get to the top of the ladder sometimes. Things were going fine and trucked along, and then they weren't. And they can change on a dime. Because our family lives change. Our situations change.

Erica: And so if you find yourself there, you don't have to have a complete existential crisis massive life change, although you can. But if you just take that first little baby step, and another thing that you said that I thought was so powerful is when you were talking about your woo moments.

Erica: I will be very transparent in that I cannot always get down with the woo, because my inner child and talking to her and all that, it just doesn't lie. I'm a grown ass woman. I cannot do that.

Erica: But there is power in giving yourself the time and the quiet time to think. And for me, I've done those exercises before, and I don't necessarily go into them with an open mind. I'm really bad about that.

Erica: But when I do actually allow the quietness to come, I can kinda peel back that onion a little more. I can sift through the chaos better and get to either the root of what is truly bothering me or what I need to do next. So I love all of those things. Another point I would love to make, because this is the sticky floor podcast, is that not all sticky floors are created equally. And when I heard you telling your story, I heard fear.

Erica: I heard burnout. I heard not slowing down. I heard getting in your own way. I heard so many different sticky floors. And they can all be there, and they can all lead up to one thing, but not all sticky floors are created equally.

Erica: But you can bring in all these tiny little sticky floors together, which can add up to be a really big problem.

Ellie: Yeah. It was a big problem. I think I needed to experience that to really wake myself up and realize that I could have something better.

Ellie: I didn't have to live this way. I didn't have to just barrel through as I normally did. I could actually just go for something I really wanted to do, which is incredibly scary. And I had a lot of imposter syndrome when I eventually decided this was what I'm gonna do, because my background experience didn't match everybody else I knew. Nobody's stories are the same.

Ellie: I just have to realize that it was carved out in that way perfectly for me to get to this point.

Erica: I love that. And that, for me, is the perfect segue because I do wanna talk a lot about what you do and everything related to style, especially in my later years as I have become this homebody that lives in sweatpants. But one thing that was so fascinating to me is one of your core beliefs is that what you wear matters, because it changes not just how you look, but how you feel.

Erica: It changes your behavior, your attitude, your connections, your performance. And you say that brain science proves that. So talk to me a little bit about that.

Ellie: I would say most people would consider that decision of what clothes to put on in the morning as pretty insignificant and trite. Thinking about all the decisions you have to make in a day, putting on clothes doesn't really seem all that important. But the reality is that choice has much more power than we realize, and this is why. You mentioned brain science. Whenever we have a feeling, let's just put this in the context of being in your closet.

Ellie: You can think about anybody who's listening. How did it go in your closet this morning? Was it a moment where you felt exhilarated and excited, or was it a moment where you looked around and felt like this is awful, or I can't fit into this, or you try to put something on and it won't zip up? Been there. Those are two different feeling states.

Ellie: So let's just say we had a morning where we walked in and didn't feel all that wonderful about the options we had in front of us, or we just didn't have the energy because we've got kids tugging at us, and we literally have a minute or two to get dressed before you gotta be on to the next thing or out the door. That feeling you have, I would call it a pretty icky, even sometimes, a feeling of lack, less than. There's a lot of guilt that can be there, especially if things don't fit, but not a good feeling. So when we have a feeling, our brain activates and then sends chemicals throughout our entire body. When you have a good feeling, your brain activates and sends good chemicals throughout your body.

Ellie: And when you have a bad feeling, your brain activates and sends bad chemicals throughout your body. And research has shown that in a worst case scenario, when you have that bad feeling over and over again, it can lead to increased chances of anxiety and depression. So here we are in our closet. We're not having a great feeling because of this, that, or the other.

Ellie: Don't like our options. Don't like how things fit. And you walk into your day with that feeling, your body is being flooded with all these bad chemicals, and I'll just say what happens to me. I can think of a very specific moment where I thought a pair of jeans that I loved were gonna fit me, and I put it on and they absolutely did not fit me. And it was like my whole world just started spiraling down.

Ellie: And what happened to me is I tend to be a little bit shorter with my husband or my kids, a little snippier. I was already kind of in a negative state because I'm so consumed about this pair of jeans that didn't fit. I really didn't have any desire to wanna do myself up that day. When it came to me then sitting down at my computer to start to work, I was not wanting to reach out to people. I'm just kinda hiding.

Ellie: And how does that serve me? It doesn't serve me at all. And so I'll do this exercise with my clients and have them tell me, okay, I want you to imagine those two different days in your closet. I want you to imagine that good day where maybe you do have something you're kind of excited to put on.

Ellie: It's a color you like or a fit. It just fits good or it feels good on your body. And I want you to tell me about how you feel, and then as a result, how you might act that day based on how you're feeling, and then what kind of result you might get from that experience. And then I contrast that with the day we just described in our closet that was really kind of icky. So this is why I say it seems like choosing an outfit in the morning is really kind of insignificant and trite and frivolous, self indulgent, but there's much more power to it, to really change the trajectory of your day and to propel you in a certain direction, whether it's propel you forward or really pull you backwards.

Erica: Hey there, listeners. If you have ever felt like you're stuck in a place, held back by self doubt, perfectionism, or that pesky inner critic, you're not alone. We all face those sticky floors that keep us from reaching the heights we dream of. But guess what? It's time to shatter those limiting beliefs and toxic behaviors to uncover infinite possibilities.

Erica: My book, Glass Ceilings and Sticky Floors, is your ultimate guide to smashing through barriers, overcoming limiting beliefs, and stepping into your full potential. This book has been endorsed by none other than the great Mel Robbins, best selling author and motivational powerhouse. It's also been featured in Success Magazine, so you know it's packed with insights that work. Inside, you'll find real life sticky floor stories, practical strategies to help you navigate your own sticky floor moments, and a whole lot of inspiration to keep you climbing. This isn't just a book.

Erica: It's your roadmap to success, confidence, and freedom. Grab your copy of Glass Ceilings and Sticky Floors today at www.ericaandersonrooney.com. Whether you're in the boardroom, the classroom, or just starting out, this book is for you because no one, and I mean no one, deserves to stay stuck. No one deserves to feel small, and you have glass ceilings to shatter. Let's do this. What I'm really excited about is as very simplistic as this concept is.

Erica: It's not something that we like to talk about, because who is going to come to work and say, I didn't fit into any of my pants today, and I feel like shit. Nobody. Because then we feel like we're letting people inside, like, I'm not a confident enough person, or I failed to eat right and do all of these things. But I know for me too, as women, we so often tie our worth to our bodies and to how we look.

Erica: And then that translates inside that closet to none of these fit, or I'm not comfortable in these things. How many times have we squeezed into a pair of pants or a dress and then we're so self conscious the whole time we are distracted. All we're thinking about is the zipper gonna pop? Is this button gonna fall out?

Erica: So it's just, I don't know. It's this epiphany of, this is such a simple concept that probably so many women are having this conversation in their head, and they're not bringing it to the front because there's almost like a little feeling of shame to it.

Ellie: Oh, for sure. And we tie meaning to these beliefs, and a lot of times they're just irrational. So that's one of the first things we do working with my clients, is it's not just about going and shopping and getting a new wardrobe, and then all of a sudden you're just gonna embody this person. We have to sort of peel back the layers and realize that there's some long held beliefs there that change how we show up and will prevent us from making a change even if we really, really wanted to make a change.

Erica: Very powerful. And that leads me to think about growing up. I grew up with a mother who always told me that looks don't matter. It's the beauty is on the inside, and that's a very important message. It's one I'm also always trying to teach my kids, but you and I both know that we live in a world where appearance, no matter where you are or what culture you're in, people judge you based off your appearance.

Erica: And my question is, how does one show the world who we really are through what they wear? I ask you this because I know authenticity is one of your core values, and you love to bring that authentic style to life. So tell me more.

Ellie: Well, this is what I'll say. Style matters because it changes not only how others perceive you, but how you perceive yourself. So we live in a world, as you said, that we can't escape from judgment about our appearances. And it's one of those icky parts of this topic that we just can't get around. People are gonna make a judgment about us within a matter of seconds.

Ellie: And what I like to say is, if people are going to be judging us, we have zero control over what they're gonna think. But I wanna at least be projecting something that is true to me, that is authentic to me, that maybe says just a little about me before I even say a word. And so what that looks like is really getting honest about what it is you like, what it is that lights you up, and that comes in the form of colors. So what colors?

Ellie: Colors have cultural meaning, yes, but they also have personal meaning. And so we explore what is your power color, and that would be a color that looks good on your skin but also does something to you energetically. So authenticity is not only about color, it's about being brave enough to say this is what I like and this feels like a representation of my insides on the outsides, regardless of whatever society says is the right or wrong way to show up in any given situation. I think there's a misconception about fitting in, that it's always best to fit in and go with the crowd, and I'm actually gonna be more successful if I fit in.

Ellie: But what I think is true, and there's actually some research that shows that when you intentionally dress to stand out in a way that's authentic, you're actually perceived in a much more positive way. It was called the red sneaker effect, and they did a study of, let's say, think of a professor that maybe shows up wearing red sneakers, red Converse, or maybe he's wearing a very colorful bow tie instead of a normal tie. The study showed that when you dress to intentionally stand out in an authentic way, it sends a positive message about you. So it totally goes against this idea, it is our natural human tendency to want to fit in.

Ellie: But in terms of showing your true colors, it might actually serve you better to stand out. Now what I'm hoping you're receiving from this is that the more you're true to yourself, the more it changes your energy, and the more that people can see you.

Erica: Love it. Absolutely love it. But before we wrap up, one thing I really wanted to touch on is this whole concept of a capsule wardrobe, because I'm fascinated by it, because I have a big walk in closet. It is filled with a lot of stuff, okay, if I'm really honest. But yet, I can't toss it.

Erica: I never wear it. I can't donate it. I literally dusted off the shoulders of one of my suit jackets the other day. So I know that the capsule wardrobe is all about simplifying our lives but staying fashionable. How can we pull this together?

Ellie: This is difficult. Well, first of all, for those who don't know what a capsule wardrobe is, it is a wardrobe that's based on a limited number of pieces. They'll say it's around 35. I've heard the number 37 before, but really what it means to me is that you can do a whole lot more with less. And I've had to do this for myself a lot to prove it to myself, because our society, our culture, look, there's a new clothing drop from a retailer every month now.

Ellie: There is a constant stream of fast fashion. There's just more, more, more, more clothes that you can buy and wear once and then toss it, or maybe never wear it again. And this causes a real big problem. We feel like we need more, so we keep buying more, but we're not very strategic about what we buy. And so I have this rule when I shop, that if I want an item, I have to think of at least three ways that I can wear that item in my closet right now.

Ellie: It does not mean I go buy something else in the store. But I can go into my wardrobe right now, and I know there are three ways I can wear that now. If I fall in love with something at the store and I'm not really sure, I'll buy it, I'll bring it home, and before I take the tags off, I start to play around within my closet. Does it go with this? Can I wear it with this?

Ellie: Maybe I could mix it with this. And the other key to finding three ways to wear our clothes is to think about your clothes in a much less categorized way. So I would say most women think of their clothes like I've got my work wardrobe, I've got my casual, I've got my going out, I've got my lounge wear. When I think about a wardrobe, I think about it all sort of meshing together.

Ellie: Actually, today, what I'm wearing, this sliver of yellow that you see underneath my blazer is actually a slip dress. Now would you think that a slip dress would be for a work thing? Maybe, maybe not. I would say most women would say that's maybe for a date night or going out with my girlfriends or maybe a wedding.

Ellie: Well, I'm putting it with a blazer. I've worn it with boots before in the winter with a nice pair of professional heels. Now it's something I wear in a work environment. I can also wear it for going out.

Ellie: I can also put it with a pair of sneakers and throw a sweatshirt or a sweater over it, or a denim jacket, and now I'm ready to go out and run some errands on the weekend. So part of this three ways to wear rule is not only just three ways to wear it in a work environment, but it's expanding your view of maybe how one garment can be used, and it's being more flexible in thinking how clothes can be worn.

Erica: What I love about this is because immediately in my brain, I was like, well, I don't know how to do that. But that's so my job. Right? That's why we now have this job. So if people wanna work with you, Ellie, because they're sitting here and they're a little bit sweaty like me because they're like, I don't know how to make a slip dress work for work,

Ellie: how can people find you and connect with you? So I'm on Instagram and LinkedIn primarily. So you can find me on Instagram at style dot decoded and LinkedIn under my name, Ellie Steinbrink. And you can also find me on my website, elliesteinbrink.com.

Ellie: And my last favorite question to ask all my guests is, knowing everything that you know now,

Erica: this gift of hindsight that we have, what is the one piece of advice you would give farm girl Ellie who found herself at the top of the wrong building? It would be that

Ellie: don't discount any experience you have as a waste. Because when I first started styling, I thought, I just spent twenty years of my life doing a totally different career, and here now I've discovered I wanna follow my passion. So don't discount your previous experiences. If they don't seem like they fit into the bigger puzzle of your life, trust me, they do.

Erica: Oh, I love that.

Ellie: Well, thank you, Ellie. It was so amazing

Erica: you having you on the show today.

Ellie: Thank you for having me.

Erica: Okay. I don't know about you, but I am ready to just dive through my closet and do my very best to get rid of the stuff that I don't wear, stuff that doesn't bring me happiness, the stuff that doesn't fit, the stuff that I don't feel like my best self in. So I'm gonna ask you to do the same. Ellie's work is nothing short of amazing because she is bringing confidence to women where it counts most, and that is in our boardrooms and in our families and in our lives. So if you enjoyed this episode as much as I did, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast as it truly helps the message land in the hands of the woman or in the closet of the woman that needs to hear it the most.