Erica: Chances are, you've probably had the opportunity to negotiate a salary and you probably felt some sort of anxiety or uneasiness about the entire process. Was your ask high enough? Should you have asked for more? What if you asked for too much? This anxiety leads us, and when I say us, I mean women, to not asking at all. Studies have shown that only 26% of women actually negotiate their salaries. And when they do, they tend to ask for less than what a man would negotiate for. We don't ask for raises and promotions or better job opportunities, none of that. But I've got good news. Negotiations do not have to be scary or anxiety provoking. They can actually be exciting.

Erica: So today we're going to cover so much ground on this episode. We're going to talk about why women negotiate differently, how you can reframe your money mindset to set you up for success in future negotiations, negotiation basics, what's negotiable, what's not. Honestly, you just might be surprised. And how you can negotiate with confidence, maximize that bargaining power, and develop the best strategy for your situation.

Erica: I am so excited to talk with you today about negotiation and knowing your worth, because this is everything that I wish that I knew when I landed my first job, and all of the things that I have learned after being in HR for so many years.

Erica: And I want to kick it off with this scenario. Let's say you have two employees. You've got Hudson and you've got Holly. They are both 25 years old. They have equal skills, qualification, education, and they are both offered a starting salary of $50,000. Now Hudson, being the man that he is, negotiates a starting salary of $55,000. Holly, being a woman, believes that because it's her first job, $50,000, this is a solid offer. She goes ahead and accepts.

Erica: Now, if you compare Hudson and Holly over the span of 35 years, all things considered equal, Holly will retire at the age of 60 making $130,000, just a little over, and Hudson is going to retire making a little over $145,000. So all in all it's about a $15,000 difference. Doesn't seem like a ton, right? However, and this is where I need you to listen in, over those 35 years, Hudson will make an additional $509,000 in additional earnings. That is a half a million dollars, y'all, in extra earnings.

Erica: But it doesn't stop there. Hudson could bank that money in a high yield savings account. He could invest in stock. He could buy real estate. He could use it to save for a down payment on his home, which he then flips for an even greater profit. Basically he is living a more secure and better life because of this one time negotiation. This one $5,000 negotiation. He has a better standard of living, more financial security. This is crazy, guys. And this is what sociologists call the accumulation of disadvantage.

Erica: So I just want you to think about that for a moment. One $5,000 negotiation. $500,000 in additional earnings is what Hudson gets, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. What would you do with half a million dollars?

Erica: Now, the next question I have for you is, have you ever heard, why can't you just be happy with what you've got? Like, that's a good salary. That's decent. You should be happy with that. It could even be your own voice in your head asking you that question. The odds are you probably listened to that voice. Maybe you think it's the voice of experience or common sense telling you, like, don't do anything crazy. Maybe you focus on gratitude and thinking that you should be grateful for everything you already have. You should feel lucky. So let's not rock the boat by reaching for more.

Erica: But I need to tell you something. That isn't your voice. That is the voice of societal expectations. And here's the thing, it's holding you back. It's keeping you stuck. And it is causing you to lose out on opportunities and money.

Erica: Now in my work I talk a lot about sticky floors and how they keep women from busting glass ceilings. Sticky floors are those limiting beliefs that hold us back, that keep us stuck, and they show up like imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and fear. And today we're going to talk about the fear of negotiation. The fear of asking for it. That is one of the biggest sticky floors that I see when I work with women across the board, and it never fails to come up.

Erica: We worry that they'll say no. We worry that people think we aren't worth the amount of money we're asking for. We worry that we're going to upset the other person by asking for as much as we do, or that we might even make them like us less, that we won't be as agreeable to work with. And yes, that all sounds so silly and ridiculous when we say it out loud. But it's what we've been conditioned to believe, and it's what we have been taught over our entire lives.

Erica: Another reason that we don't ask is our beliefs about control. You see, women believe that the control lies within the other party, the person, the company. Men believe that they have much more control and that the control lies within themselves.

Erica: And the social conditioning, ladies, this is so serious. Women lived this life where we are told and taught to negotiate like a man, but it doesn't work. And when we do, we are seen as too aggressive, too difficult. It negatively impacts the outcome and our advancement. We are taught to put others first, and in general we try to help everyone around us, often at the expense of ourselves. And that's why we have to literally snap out of this.

Erica: So I've actually created the SNAP method, which is S, N, A, P. S, stop. N, name it. A, ask and answer. P, pivot. SNAP. Stop, name, ask and answer, pivot.

Erica: The second you find yourself questioning if you are asking for too much, or if you hesitate when it comes to negotiations, I'm going to need you to do the first step. Stop. Then name whatever is holding you back. Are you worried they will say no? Do you have feelings of imposter syndrome that are holding you back? What is it? And then A, ask and answer some of the really important questions for yourself. Why do I think this? Is this true? Is this helpful? What is the worst that could happen to me if I ask for it? And then I want you to P, pivot it. What is the best thing that could happen?

Erica: I want you to truly pivot how you look at negotiations, because it isn't about the best deal or who wins anymore. It is a collaborative process that is aimed at finding the best solutions for everyone involved.

Erica: So now that we have that mapped out and we understand why women negotiate differently and what we can do about it, I want to dive into some of the basics. So some of the questions that you need to be asking when getting ready to negotiate is, how is this going to impact the other party? How does this impact their future hires? Is what I'm asking for going to set a precedent? So for example, if you are going into a company that has never negotiated PTO before, and you are asking to negotiate PTO, that may set a new precedent and change the way they do future hires.

Erica: You should be asking, what is the cost or the benefit of a delay? If they don't hire me, if they don't meet me where I want to go with this negotiation, well, they have to start the recruiting process over. What do you know about the other side? What need do they have for the new role? What happens if you don't accept? If you delay a promotion or a position change, where does that put them? You should also be asking, who are the decision makers? If you're interviewing for a new role, will you be working for more than one boss? What do you know about them?

Erica: And I put all of these questions out as a massive brain dump, because when you know the answer to those questions, you have the power of knowledge to help you through the negotiation process.

Erica: And once you have those answers, you've got to know what's negotiable, and honestly it's more than you think. So if you're an individual contributor, you can negotiate things like base salary, paid time off, flexible work location and schedule, education reimbursements, trainings, relocation if it's required, growth opportunities, stretch projects, mentorship. Those are all things that you can negotiate.

Erica: If you are at an executive level, there are all of the things in the individual contributor category, and then these as well. Things like stock and equity. Severance. Yes, severance, before you start, is imperative if you are an executive. Sponsorship for groups or memberships, cell phone reimbursement. You should be negotiating things like your confidentiality and NDA agreement, benefits, performance bonus, how your performance bonus is determined, and things like a retention bonus or a starting bonus.

Erica: So now that you know what you can negotiate for, here's what you need to know before going into the negotiation. And this is a big question. What is your alternative? If you do not get what you want out of this negotiation, what will you do? What is the best choice you can make for yourself if you disagree with what they come back with? And what's your fallback plan?

Erica: So this is often called BATNA, which is the best alternative to a negotiated agreement. The better the options that you have, the more power that you have.

Erica: So for example, let's say you're interviewing for another job because your current one no longer serves you. You like your manager, you like your team, but there's just not a lot of growth opportunities, and you get an offer, but it's below what you currently make. Your BATNA is status quo. You could stay in the current job you have, keep working, keep looking. Or you could quit and devote a hundred percent of your time to looking. That's your BATNA.

Erica: Another scenario might be if you were interviewing for another job because you work in a toxic environment with an unsupportive manager. You get the offer, it's below what you currently make. Your BATNA could be, again, status quo, stay in your current job. But that situation is clearly not a great one. It's not like the first one that we talked about. You might not want to do that. You might be willing to take a lower salary just to get out of the toxic situation.

Erica: So the main takeaway here is you have to understand what is your bottom line. What is that cut off point? What is the lowest salary that you would accept? The least amount of flexibility, the least amount of PTO? Because again, everything is negotiable.

Erica: The next thing you need to know is, what is your target value? And this is not what you think that you can get, but it is what you would dream of getting. It also has to be realistic, but it is ambitious. It is that number that you would be thrilled to tell your bestie or your partner about, and that is just going to send you over the moon. When you have your target value, your realistic yet ambitious goal, that's what you need to be going after.

Erica: Now there's a lot more to cover when it comes to negotiations to give you the confidence that you need to go into negotiations successfully. And I actually have a free workbook that is going to walk you through the steps of how to go about negotiations with confidence. It has a step by step detailed list to help you uncover what your BATNA is, what your target value is. It is filled with websites to help you do your market research, filled with tips on how to ask with confidence, and helping you not just get a decent salary, but the salary that you deserve. Because negotiations can be really hard. They can be really uncomfortable and really scary. But they don't have to be.

Erica: So I'm going to link it in the show notes. It's where you can sign up to get the free workbook that will help you prepare for and slam dunk your negotiation. And if you do this work, you will be able to negotiate with confidence to land the salary and the opportunities that you not only want, but the ones that you deserve. You will know your worth. You will not settle. And you know what? You'll add some damn tax.

Erica: So I want you to get out there. I want you to snag that workbook, demand your worth, and ask for it.

Erica: Now I am so glad that you tuned in today. Make sure that you follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and all of the socials for more content just like this. And one last thing before you go. This is your reminder that it is time to stop putting a ceiling on what is possible and start busting through it.