Erica: Hey, girl. By now, you know I have Her Collective, my online community for ambitious women who are done doing it alone. Her Collective is for the women who are smart, capable, and driven, but they find themselves stuck on the sticky floors like self doubt, burnout, and waiting for permission that quite honestly never comes. Inside HER, you get more than motivation. You get real support, real strategies, and real momentum.

Erica: We work on things like clarifying what you want now and what's coming next, building confidence without burning yourself out, navigating hard conversations, career moves, and leadership moments with clarity, and surrounding yourself with women who actually get it. This isn't about hustling harder. It's about moving intentionally with the right tools and the right people in your corner. If you're ready to stop spinning, start choosing yourself, and build a career in life that actually feels aligned, I'd love to welcome you inside her collective. You can learn more and join us at www.joinhercollective.com.

Erica: Because honestly, girl, you were never meant to do this alone. If you're a woman with big goals and dreams, you are in the right place. If you have ever found yourself, as a woman, whispering these dreams and these secrets of your ambitions and you wonder if you're ever gonna be able to speak them out loud in a place that makes a true difference, or if you're wondering if you can make it in the room where decisions are made, my girl, Kelly Thompson, the confidence queen, is here. Kelly's mission is to pave the pathways for women to not just enter, but to thrive in spaces where their voices are crucial, where decisions are made, and where their presence is transformative. So buckle up as we unravel Kelly's journey from aspiring weather woman to leadership coach and sought after speaker and author.

Erica: You are listening to the Glass Ceiling and Sticky Floor podcast, The podcast that will empower you to shatter limiting beliefs and toxic behaviors to uncover infinite possibilities so that you can live your best life. I'm Erica Rooney, and I'm on a mission to bring more women into positions of power and keep them there. I'm obsessed with all things growth and abundance, and I'm here to talk you through the tried and true secrets to get you to level up your career and your life. We talk about the hard stuff here, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, fear, and burnout. So pull up a seat, pop in an earbud, and let's dive in.

Erica: Today, we have my friend, and I'm gonna take the liberty, and I'm a call this girl my partner in crime, Kelly Thompson with us. Now before I even let her say a word, I gotta tell you why she's my partner in crime. And that's because her mission is to help women advance into the rooms where decisions are made. Need I say more, y'all? So, Kelly, it's so good to see you again.

Erica: Welcome to the podcast.

Kelli: Oh, thanks for having me, and we are gonna talk about it.

Erica: Oh, it's gonna be so good. And I wanna just kick this off because you've got a fascinating story. Can you share with us a little bit about your personal and your professional life that has led you to this point?

Kelli: Yeah. Well, let's just start with, yeah, personal and professional. So, you know, when I was a little girl, like, this job wasn't the thing. Nobody said, I wanna be an author and a leadership coach, maybe an author. But I actually wanted to be a weather girl.

Kelli: Like, I was obsessed with the weather. I was obsessed with, like, knowing all the cloud formations and and all of that, and that's all I ever wanted to be growing up. And I actually went to college for meteorology. And then I got into physics classes, and I'm

Erica: like, oh, these suck.

Kelli: This is terrible. And then I had another where I'm like, oh, if I wanna be a weather person and like, you know, as you accelerate your career, you're gonna be working the six and ten o'clock news every night. I'm like, oh, that sounds terrible. And so I actually, you know, switched my major to like political science, but I actually ended up then getting a job at a bank. And I kinda liked it.

Kelli: I was like, this is clean. This is fun. It's nine to five. You know? And money was a really fascinating topic for me.

Kelli: And it was interesting because growing up, you know, my my mom always told me, Kelly, you know, we shouldn't talk about money. It's just not polite. Don't ask people what they make. Well, also, at the same time, I'm getting a job at a bank. My mom actually got a job as a financial advisor.

Kelli: And I remember her bringing me home, like, this little paper slider tool that showed me, like, okay. If I invest, like, $25 a month or whatever, how much money am I gonna have at retirement? And this was super fascinating to me. And then just kind of through falling into it, I went into this career in, financial services and in banking. And I started, of course, just in sales, but eventually got into sales training.

Kelli: And then I got into leadership development training. I got into human resources, and I spent a lot of my time in human resources recruiting, negotiating. And I kinda had this I'm like, you know, from a career standpoint, I kinda went from, like, the easiest thing to talk about, which is the weather, to the hardest thing there is to talk about, which is money, especially for women. And when I was in financial services, it I mean, it was all led by men. There were no women in the rooms, and the top rooms where decisions are made.

Kelli: And so, you know, as I, you know, pursued my own career journey, it was really interesting because I remember looking up thinking, like, can I even accelerate here? Is there even room for me? Am I the right gender? And I remember being, after banking, I actually went to go work for an HR tech company, and I oversaw HR there. And I just remember just having so many coaching conversations with women about, you know, the courage to apply for a job that they were super interested in or negotiating their salary or how do I bring something up, you know, to their boss?

Kelli: And I'm like, I love this. And I love this because I know what it's like to kinda feel like an only. And so, you know, those conversations really energized me. I actually, though, before I became an entrepreneur, went to go work for an author another author and a leadership development consultant. And I was traveling all over the country doing training and speaking for her.

Kelli: And, honestly, my daughter was in high school. I had just gotten or middle school, high school. I'd just gotten remarried, and I was traveling a lot, so speaking so much. And so I just wanted to be home. But I had found coaching because I had started doing some coaching as part of that most recent role, and I asked my boss if I could just do full time coaching.

Kelli: And she said, you know, I don't have a role for that in my organization. She said, but you know what, Kelly? If you've ever thought about going off on your own, like, why not now? Now is the time. You know?

Kelli: I'll let you take this shared contract that we have so you kinda just have something to kick off with. And So I did that in 2019. I left corporate. I took this one itty bitty tiny coaching contract that was maybe worth like 25% of my normal salary, but that's where I started. I started just kind of taking anybody who would say yes to leadership coaching and leadership speaking, as, you know, a lot of new entrepreneurs do.

Kelli: But then when COVID hit, I lost a lot of my coaching contracts and definitely lost any speaking I had overnight. And so since I wasn't making any money, I thought to myself, well, what would I love to do for free? Because I'm pretty much doing things for free anyhow while taking unemployment and PPP money. And I went back to all those conversations I had in banking of all the way that I felt when I wanted to, you know, accelerate into leadership, but I couldn't see people like me. I went back to my HR roles where I just loved talking with women in my office about having more confidence to apply for a job or speak up or negotiate their salary.

Kelli: I'm like, I would do that for free. And so it was in 2020, I really narrowed it and then focused on my mission of helping women advance the rooms where decisions are made. And that's what I've been doing ever since. And so I do one on one coaching. I do speaking.

Kelli: I do leadership development training, you know, all with a mission to get more women in the pipeline and, you know, help them build the confidence to to be great leaders.

Erica: I love it, and I'm sure everyone else, like, oh, yeah. That's why Erica loves this woman so much because we are on the same mission. Now when you told me that you're like, yep. I'm just gonna leave corporate with this little 25% of my income, I was over here, like, sweating, having heart palpitations. How did you find the confidence to do that both, like, in yourself and, like, yeah.

Erica: I can do this. Like, I can make this work and make something of it. And Yeah. And also just, yeah, stepping out on your own, like, all of that.

Kelli: Yeah. I would say it was two or three key things. Okay. Number one, let's acknowledge privilege. I had the privilege that I was in a dual income household.

Kelli: I had the privilege that, you know, before him and I met, we were each paying our own house payment, so I had some money in savings since we got married. Okay? So, like, let's just be honest. Okay? I have another earner in the household.

Kelli: I have money in savings. So the thought was is if I don't earn a dime for six months, which can be normal when you're an entrepreneur and you're new, like, we'll be okay. I'll I'll dig into savings, which will hurt a little bit, but but we'll be okay because we have we have two earners. So I don't wanna I don't wanna skim over that. Okay?

Kelli: The second thing is I worked for this entrepreneur. Her name is Cy Wakeman. You should follow her. She's amazing. She was a successful author, speaker, and coach.

Kelli: And I had firsthand knowledge and experience of watching her be an entrepreneur. And so I just cannot, like, overstate the importance of if this is something that you want to do to surround yourself with people who are doing it. Had I not worked for her, had I not watched how she grew her business, how she networked, how she promoted herself, how she didn't promote herself, I I just wouldn't have had that blueprint. And so I think, you know, number one, like, I acknowledge the circumstances that I was in. Number two, I found myself a really good mentor, and I was lucky enough to work for her.

Kelli: So I felt like I had a little bit of a road map where I was like, okay. If I leave and go off on my own, I can here's some things I know I can try. Number three, I feel like I have a very supportive spouse. In fact, I will never forget when I was sitting there one night, and I told him, I'm like, oh gosh. Honey, I don't know I don't know if I can do this.

Kelli: Because what if I can never replace my corporate income? You know? What if, you know, being entrepreneurship is, like, gonna limit, you know, my income in some way? And he just looked at me, and he's like, have you ever thought that corporate was limiting your income? And my mind just, like, blew open at that because I think I just never I think sometimes when you're in corporate, you think that that's just how you make money by rising up the ladder.

Kelli: It never occurred to me that by owning my own business and my own company that I would be more in control of my income power. And so, you know, and then, you know, because of those support systems, when I really stepped out and grew my business, yes, it was scary, but it was kind of one of those things where and and, you know, my husband, Jason, was really encouraging too. He's like, Kelly, if not now, when? He's like, you can always go back to corporate. He's like, but now is, like, kind of the the perfect time.

Kelli: You have worked for someone. You have this idea. He's like, why not try it? Just test it. He's like, if it doesn't work for a year, then go get back and get a job.

Kelli: Like, who cares? And I think that that really took a lot of pressure off that I could go out and I could experiment and I could just have fun with it and just see what happens and just grow my business in a way that felt really fun and exciting and interesting. And was I nervous? Yes. Did I wonder if I was gonna fail every day?

Kelli: Did I do all those things? But I guess I just felt like if I'm gonna try it, like, now is the time. So if I could just land on one piece of, like, advice, is it support? Do you have support from a partner, a friend, a mentor, a group of people around you? Because without that kind of encircling support, there's no way I would have had the confidence to go do that.

Erica: I love it. That is amazing. And, I mean, you're the author of the book, The Confidence Gap. So I definitely wanna dig in here because I am all over the women's empowerment space, and I know about the leadership gap, and I know about the, equity pay equity gap. But the confidence gap, you're gonna have to fill me in on this.

Erica: What is the confidence gap?

Kelli: Yeah. Well, you know, what's really interesting is the book is called Closing the Confidence Gap, but the interesting part about that is I didn't even know there was a study called The Confidence Gap until after I titled it, and I was, like, Googling it. And I was like, oh my gosh. Like, Wharton did a study on this. You know?

Kelli: I just like, oh, that's a clever title. And, so what the confidence gap is is actually a study that came out of Wharton. And what they wanted to understand is, like, why does it just seem to be easier for, like, men to advocate for themselves, and they just kind of, like, put themselves out there a little better, and women tend to hold back. So what they did was they gave this group of men and women a standardized test, and they did not tell them how they did on the test. But in this hypothetical ex or, you know, environment, they were supposed to go and advocate to these, you know, potential employers hypothetical potential employers about how they thought they performed on the test and why that employer should hire them.

Kelli: And so I always ask my audiences. I'm like, alright. Who did a better job advocating? And they get it right every time. They're like, the men.

Kelli: And I'm like, but who did a little better on the test? And they're all like, the women. And I'm like, my audiences are so smart. And, you know, what the researchers at Wharton said is, obviously, you

Erica: know, there is this gap,

Kelli: you know, in terms of, you know, perceived ability and then the ability to articulate that. And their recommendation was, well, maybe if we just tell women that they did better on the test, then their confidence will follow suit. And so in my book, I actually say that is not gonna cut it. Because to close the confidence gap, we don't need just to tell women they did better on the test. We actually need to see more women in positions of leadership using healthy self self advocacy, showing up as their true selves, you know, leading in a way that is in alignment to their values and not just a patriarchal or masculine standard that we've always seen.

Kelli: Like, we need to see more people like us. And I think that goes beyond women, you know, and I really talk about that in the book that, you know, I think for us to gain confidence and belonging and, you know, be free to lead us who we are, we need to see people like us in those positions, whether we are a black male, whether we are we see a lot of white males, so that's covered. You know, black female, white female, you know, man, woman, folks who identify in between. Right? It's about representation.

Kelli: Do I see someone like me in positions of leadership? So the book goes on then to talk about, it's a both end. And I say that in the book. Yes. We need more women in leadership.

Kelli: And to close the confidence gap, we actually need to close the systemic issues that women face in the workplace today, like the likability gap, the leadership gap, you know, the the wage gap, all that sort of stuff. But here's the thing. We're not gonna close those overnight. It would be cool if we did, but we're not. So here's also some strategies so you can thrive at work in spite of these things.

Kelli: So the book is truly like a both end approach of here's what's happening systemically, but also, like, here's some very personal stories about these situations from me and my clients, and then some tools and strategies to thrive in these sorts of environments.

Erica: Hey there, listeners. If you have ever felt like you're stuck in a place, held back by self doubt, perfectionism, or that pesky inner critic, you're not alone. We all face those sticky floors that keep us from reaching the heights we dream of. But guess what? It's time to shatter those limiting beliefs and toxic behaviors to uncover infinite possibilities.

Erica: My book, Glassy Leads and Sticky Floors, is your ultimate guide to smashing through barriers, overcoming limiting beliefs, and stepping into your full potential. This book has been endorsed by none other than the great Mel Robbins, best selling author and motivational powerhouse. It's also been featured in Success Magazine, so you know it's packed with insights that work. Inside, you'll find real life sticky floor stories, practical strategies to help you navigate your own sticky floor moments, and a whole lot of inspiration to keep you climbing. This isn't just a book.

Erica: It's your roadmap to success, confidence, and freedom. Grab your copy of Glass Ceilings and Sticky Floors today at www.ericaandersonrooney.com. Whether you're in the boardroom, the classroom, or just starting out, this book is for you because no one, and I mean no one, deserves to stay stuck, no one deserves to feel small, and you have glass ceilings to shatter. Let's do this. I love that.

Erica: Would you mind sharing maybe one of your experiences where you were all in the confidence gap and how you overcame that?

Kelli: Oh, gosh. Yeah. There's, like, 20. Okay. So I would say the one that, resonates with a lot of people that I hear a lot from the book is when I was in my HR career, I will never forget and you know what?

Kelli: Let's just I'll I'll preface this. Like, I've been told my whole life that I'm too direct or that I'm blunt or that I'm unemotional, which as a woman, that really kind of contributes, I think, some of those likability biases. Because as women, we've been told we should be warm, we should be supportive, we should be empathetic, we should be seen, not heard, etcetera. And, of course, flip that. Right?

Kelli: Men who exhibit those warm empathetic qualities sometimes also receive, you know, equal pushback because they don't show up in a masculine way that's expected of them. But, anyways so I remember I was in one of my, first HR business partnering roles, and I was partnered with the the COO of our bank. And I remember we were sitting down talking about a thing. I think it was, like, org design or people or moving something around, something HR ish. Right?

Kelli: And at the end of the meeting, he gets up, he walks out, and he's he was known for this. And he would turn around. He would always turn around and leave people with, like, a zinger. Okay? That's just kinda who he was.

Kelli: Of course, he could get away with it because he was a man. He turned around. He's like, you know, you're really direct, and a lot of people aren't gonna know how to handle you. And he just, like, left. And it was just one of those things where I was like, okay.

Kelli: I mean, I've always been told that, but I think it really continued to cause me to, like, self censor. And I was always afraid to speak up because, like, it was this constant talk track in my head of, oh, gosh. Okay. I really wanna say this, but what if I come across too direct? What if I hurt somebody's feelings?

Kelli: What if I'm too unemotional? What if people take this the wrong way? Right? And so when I talk with a lot of, you know, clients or just people in general, you know, they also experience I'm sure you and I'll just ask you, Erica. I think this is a great conversation.

Kelli: Is what have you always been called?

Erica: Oh, god. So many things. You know? Like, depending on the day, but definitely too extra, too loud.

Kelli: Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Erica: I got in, a 03:60 review one time that my message would be heard by more people if I was quieter.

Kelli: Uh-huh. And I

Erica: will tell you too. I mean, I immediately took that, and I was like, oh my god. Like, I'm just too much. I'm too extra. And I really, like, worried about that for a while.

Erica: And then I was talking to my mother of all people, and she was like, fuck that. Like, that's terrible advice. Your your extraneous is what got you here, and that is what got you into the c suite. But yeah. I mean, I think it's so easy for us, especially as women, to try to fit into these male dominated spaces because they've been there, and they know what they're doing.

Erica: And so we hear that, and we're like, oh my god. I have to change. Like, I have to choose who I am.

Kelli: And that impacts your confidence.

Erica: Mhmm.

Kelli: Because you feel like you can't show up as yourself. And so, you know, in the book then, I go to one of the most commented on stories in the book. And, you know, I really transitioned to that to a story of my grand my great grandmother. So, I live in Nebraska, and we have, like, a thousand acre farm and ranch out in Western Nebraska. And every time I go out there, I see, like, this old bus that that has, like it's all rusted out, but it's, like, really cool because it's, like, from the nineteen sixties.

Kelli: And I always think of my great grandma because my great grandma bought that bus with cash in the nineteen sixties so that she could, like, bus farm workers across her farm, to keep it going. And people might be like, well, what's the big deal? Okay. It's 1961. Women cannot borrow money in their own name.

Kelli: K? She is a widow, so she has no male cosigner to take her to the bank to get a loan for that bus. She has to buy that bus in cash. And that was just the story of her life. You know?

Kelli: She, you know, was employed, like, from age 15 in her parents' hardware store. So, like, she knew the cost of things. She was, like, four foot eleven. She was, like, tiny in stature, but big in personality because she would go into, like, these farm parts stores. And when they would see this little lady walk in, they the employees would just go get the manager.

Kelli: Like Yeah.

Erica: They're like, she's lost. Something's wrong here.

Kelli: Know that they know her. They're like, Elizabeth is here to negotiate to the bottom dollar. Okay? So she got this reputation around town, I'm sure, of being bossy, direct, shrewd, witchy, all the things. Right?

Kelli: But then I have to remember, wait a minute. Because she was those things, she ran a thousand acre farm and ranch in 1961 by herself. She paid cash for things. She didn't borrow or owe anybody money, and she still had enough money left over to, like, leave her daughters an inheritance. Like, is it because she was those things that she was so powerful?

Kelli: She just owned it. She wasn't the homemaker of, like, 1961. And so that really got me thinking about, wait a minute. Like, why do I need to, like, have confidence issues around my directness? Like, what would happen if I just own those things and owned these, quote, unquote, flaws as my true gifts?

Kelli: Like, maybe it's because I am direct. That's what makes me a great HR leader. Because as you and I both know, when you are in HR, sometimes you have to stand in front of people and let them know why their job's being eliminated or that we're undergoing a massive merger and acquisition or that we're ruling out major changes. And so that directness, you know, is actually advantage. And so, you know, what I go on then to talk about the book that really helped me with my own confidence is, okay, how do I use my own, quote, unquote, personality flaws as my strength?

Kelli: But, like, blend them in alignment with my values. Values. Right? So it's like, I don't wanna be direct and brash because that will turn people off. Okay?

Kelli: Like, nobody likes somebody like that. But you know what? If my values are, like, love, respect, family, creativity, and learning, like, how can I be direct and loving? How can I be direct and respectful? How can I be direct but maybe be a little creative about, you know, how I, you know, position my message?

Kelli: And that's really what I talk about, you know, with with other women or just anybody is maybe you have always been, you know, called too extra. Right? Okay. Well, actually, how is extra the most profitable and highest, like, potential, like, quality that you have about yourself? Like, how is you being so extra actually, like, your greatest asset that allows you to do amazing things?

Kelli: Like, let's be honest. You wouldn't be able to write a book if you weren't a little extra. So it's like, how can I be extra and then balance that with something that feels like a value of mine, you know, so that I can use it situationally in a way that, like, gives me the results that I want?

Erica: I love this for so many reasons. The first one being that I think people forget how far we've come in such a short period of time because we have come a long way. Right? Like, women could not get mortgages. They could not buy things on credit in the sixties.

Erica: K? Some people listening here, you were born in the sixties. Maybe you were 20 in the sixties. I don't know. But that is not that long ago, number one.

Erica: And then number two, that pivot of taking that, quote, flaw and turning it into your superpower is really what is gonna take you to that next level. And that's what you need to embrace because it's those people who do stand out a little bit that go further in life because you're not just blending in with everyone else.

Kelli: Mhmm. Yeah. It's like, you know, when I think about and I would encourage, you know, anybody who's sitting here, like, probably just think about a leader that has had the most impact on you. It's probably somebody who had a really strong personality trait of something. Okay?

Kelli: So when I think about the mentor and the entrepreneur, Psy, who, you know, watching her, really helped me grow my own business, like, her outstanding quality is just, like, exceptional love and, like, generosity. Like, she's just one of those

Erica: people that you meet that just emits

Kelli: this aura of, like, love and generosity. And and she's even told me, we've been on a podcast before, and she's like, yeah. You know, some people just you used to tell me, gosh, you know, Sawyer, you're just too trusting. You trust people too easily. But because she is those things, like, that's why she's so memorable.

Kelli: Right? So, I mean, think about that mentor that that you love. You know? I bet there was something about them that was so unique that added so much value to you.

Erica: I would also say too, I know exactly in my head. Right? They come exactly to my head. My mentor was so opposite from me. Like, he could not have been more opposite from me.

Erica: But because of that, like, he was able to teach me so much more, and he never encouraged me to be any different than what I was, and we did the disc profile together. Right? And that showed us on the two opposite ends of the color spectrum wheel. And I love this story because after we did that and we had this, like, you know, facilitator really recognize how do you work better with a green person, how do you work better with a red person, you know. And the next meeting that we both had, like, we both came to the table very extra with, like, me over the top with data.

Erica: Here you go. Cut to the chase. You're an introvert. And him very like, well, let's talk about your family.

Kelli: Yeah.

Erica: And I'll never forget that, but, like, it's so powerful to lean into those mentors and learn from their experiences, especially if they're different from

Kelli: you. Mhmm. Yeah. And, you know, it I think it really helps with the compare and despair because I know as an introvert, somebody who's more direct, like, I always envy people who are a little extra because I always felt like they had always the right words to say at the right moment. And that also was a source of, you know, a kind of a confidence killer for me.

Kelli: And it, you know, wasn't really until I started to own, like, the unique talents that I brought to the table. You know what? Yeah. You know, I'm never gonna be an extrovert. I'm never gonna be people that has all the right things to say at the the right time.

Kelli: You know, that, you know, person in the meeting that just has has the punchline. That's just not me. But that's okay. Because how do I own, like, those unique introverted gifts that that I bring? And when we can start to, I think, name those, you know, we get out of that whole compare and despair cycle a little bit.

Erica: Compare and despair is god awful. I'll tell you that. Kelly, can you maybe share another key strategy from the book that we could all use to help us close our own confidence gaps?

Kelli: Yeah. So the one that I think, doesn't get a lot of, like, people kinda roll their eyes at it a little bit until maybe sometimes in our client, I make them do it, and they're like, this was the best thing I ever did, was, like, really identifying your values. And so I'll just kinda talk about that a little bit. So, you know, when I opened the book, I actually opened a book with a very personal story of kind of, like, my own kinda rock bottom moment. I had I was divorced.

Kelli: Like, I kinda live my life by a checklist. Like, if I just accomplish all these things, then I'll be happy and successful because, you know,

Erica: that's what the right person

Kelli: is doing. So That's all you gotta do. Got married, had a baby, went to school, went to grad school, had a great job, checked the box, all the list, why am I not happy, got divorced. I had jumped into another relationship. We were together for about five years.

Kelli: I had just called off that wedding. The job that I was in that I absolutely loved, I found out we were gonna go through an acquisition, and my job, like, was gonna be eliminated. I mean, I was just kinda, like, in this spot where it's like, I could blame all of these people for all of this stuff going wrong. Like, my picker is broken. I can't find the right career.

Kelli: I can't find the right, you know, partner, blah blah blah blah blah. And I think sometimes it's natural that we might all visit kind of that victim y place. But I kinda had this that, like, you know, there's a common denominator in all of this mess, and that common denominator is me.

Erica: So, like That's a hard reality.

Kelli: That's a hard one. You know? And, I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm, like, bawling my eyes out for days, you know, because I'm just really going through this hard time, and I'm just like, okay. You know?

Kelli: It was kind of like that story of Hansel and Gretel came back to me where, you know, they're talk about following the breadcrumbs. And when I kinda figured out that I was the common denominator, I'm like, okay. If I can, like, go back and breadcrumb how I got into this mess, maybe then I can breadcrumb my way out of it, like, find my way out of it. And one of the things that was became really apparent to me was I just made this assumption, I think, that everybody valued the same things I value. But, like, there was the quote Hamilton had just, like, launched on the scene in, like, 2016.

Kelli: So there was a quote going around from the musical Hamilton from Alexander Hamilton to Aaron Burr. And he says, you know, hey, Burr. If you don't know what you stand for, what will you fall for? And that, like, stuck at me. And that's how I really define values and leadership values with my clients is that, you know, I'm like, we're gonna sit here and talk about what you stand for.

Kelli: Because if you can't define and articulate the things that you stand for, like, you're nonnegotiables in life, what you absolutely must have to be happy and successful and live a well boundaried, you know, life, then you are susceptible to falling for just anything. Before you and I hit record, had I not been clear about what I stood for and what my values are as a business owner and an entrepreneur, I was telling you earlier, I had received some very well meaning advice from an individual that you know, about my business that, you know, in my twenties, I probably woulda took. I've been like, oh my gosh. Like, this person is, like, more advanced than me, and he must know what he's talking about. And I read the advice, and I ran that through my values filter, those things that I stand for, what's my mission, what do I believe in, what are my values, what's way that I wanna work and live and lead in the world?

Kelli: I, like, ran it through that filter, and I'm like, thanks. Hard pass. Like you know? And I just, you know, really think about those tools. Being able to articulate what are my core values.

Kelli: K. It's not just corporate marketing language, but what are those things, those five core things that I truly stand for? If other people were talking at my funeral, what five qualities would I want people to say that I lived my life by? When I think about who I have to have in my life in terms of friends or coworkers, right, like, what qualities must be present in these individuals for me to feel like I'm in a good, well boundaried, productive place? And so, you know, that's the other tool, that I always start with with my clients because I typically find that a huge source of anger or resentment or overwork in their life is because they're living outside of those things they stand for.

Kelli: They're living outside their boundaries, and that's where things go off the rails.

Erica: Absolutely. Two things I love about this. The first one is you talking about it in line in alignment with your values. And if we go back to that story that I told you about my $3.60 and being too extra, that was my very, like, first lesson that smacks me in the face of not all feedback is good feedback. And it really ties into that value piece because what that person was giving me feedback on was a lot about how I get my message out there and how so many women have already heard me to this day.

Erica: Right? So this message of my extraneous, it's like, okay. Thank you for the feedback. In my head, I then say it doesn't serve me, and I move on from there. And so I now try to impress that upon so many people that I listen to that not all feedback is there to serve you, but it is there to teach you something about that person.

Erica: Right? Mhmm. So then using it there. But then the second thing I love about that is just the idea of a values exercise because I was the queen of being like, okay. That is way too woo woo, Kelly.

Erica: I'm not gonna tell you that I believe in love and trust and comfort. Okay? Because who doesn't? But when you sit down and you do that work and, like, you have a sheet of values in front of you and you're like, you've gotta narrow it down to three to five, and you have to start crossing off things like trustworthiness, honesty. And you're like, but I'm an honest person.

Erica: It's like, you are. But, like, what is at the core? And then when you narrow it narrow it narrow it down, like you said, you can just run that filter every time you get stuck making a decision and you're not sure which way to go. So if you haven't done it, people, get off your freaking bus and do it.

Kelli: Well and you bring up a really good point because a lot of people are like, values are love, respect, trust, honesty. And, really, what happens is is when I work with my clients, lots of times, those are the first passive values that they get, and then I say and then I ask them. I'm like, are those things are those shoulds? Are those values? Because shoulds often feel like, a caregiver's voice in your head.

Kelli: Your church if you, like, grew up in, like, a very religious church society voice in your head. Right? Or maybe you had a very strict workplace. Right? It's like that first pass sometimes on your values, lots of times, is your shoulds.

Kelli: It's other people's voices in your head saying you should act. I'm like, okay. No. We're gonna do it over again because shoulds feel constricting and, like, you know, like, what word do you look on in that list that you're like, yes. That's it.

Kelli: That's it. Those are your values.

Erica: And, like, it's okay to be different than other people. And I tell people all the time, like, guess what? For me, being giving is not one of my core values. Does it It is not mine. Giving person, but, like, some people have it where they give 20% of their income to charity, and they volunteer every Sunday.

Erica: Those people have giving in their DNA core values. It's not in mine. Doesn't mean I don't give. Doesn't mean I'm a bad person. It's just not my core value.

Erica: And, also, too, it makes you become a little bit more comfortable with who you are because you you gotta be comfortable saying that on a podcast that it could be heard anywhere by anyone. Erica's not a giving person. Okay. But I love that. So, Kelly, I ask everybody, and I you've already given us so many gold nuggets today, but with everything that you have learned on this journey, what is the one piece of advice that you would go back and you would give this wannabe weather girl, Kelly, who feels like an only?

Erica: What piece of advice would you give her?

Kelli: Yeah. I'm always tempted to say, like, that confidence is a side effect to taking action. But, honestly, if I have to go back and I could tell, like, little Kelly something, I have a whole chapter on it, I would just say learn to recognize your intuition and trust it. Trust yourself. Like, I define confidence as the ability to, trust yourself and listen to that still small voice and take action on that.

Kelli: And I think so often when I got off track, it's because my mind, like, talked my gut out of what it knew to be true. Yeah. And I'm like, just trust yourself, and it's okay to be different. It's okay just to live in the world just being you and just really trust that.

Erica: I love that. Now, Kelly, if somebody wants to work with you, have you at their event, read your book, how can they find you, get in touch with you?

Kelli: Yeah. Just pop over to my website. It's kellyraythompson.com. I'm Kelly with an I r a e. You'll find information about my book.

Kelli: It's there anywhere books are sold. But if you go to the free tab, you can actually find a a career clarity guide there, and that has some of the exercises that we talked about today. So if you're like, okay. How do I dig into that? You can just go to my website and grab that.

Kelli: Otherwise, I love to hang out on LinkedIn or Instagram at forward slash kelly ray thompson.

Erica: Oh, I love it. Kelly, thank you.

Kelli: Thank you.

Erica: Now I told you that you were gonna love this conversation with Kelly. It is just so clear that her journey is a testament to the power of embracing your own unique path, really trusting in your intuition and taking bold steps into spaces where we as women can make a difference. Her story from being this young woman fascinated by weather to leadership coach and author who is passionately advocating for women's advancement in leadership, it is a powerful reminder that our dreams and our ambitions are valid and that they are achievable. It's about more than just getting a seat at the table y'all. It's about reshaping the conversations and the decisions that are made at the table.

Erica: So, Kelly, thank you for your journey, for your insights, and for sharing your strategies with us, really lighting the way for others to follow. If you are looking to connect with Kelly, dive into her work, or bring her transformative insights to your next event, visit kellyraethompson.com. And remember, embracing your intuition and trusting yourself is the compass that will guide you through your professional journey. Now I've got one last reminder for you, and it's one you know I love. The only ceilings that exist are the ones we place on ourselves.

Erica: So y'all, let's smash through them together.