Erica: Hey, girl. By now, you know I have Her Collective, my online community for ambitious women who are done doing it alone. Her Collective is for the women who are smart, capable, and driven, but they find themselves stuck on the sticky floors like self doubt, burnout, and waiting for permission that quite honestly never comes. Inside HER, you get more than motivation. You get real support, real strategies, and real momentum.

Erica: We work on things like clarifying what you want now and what's coming next, building confidence without burning yourself out, navigating hard conversations, career moves, and leadership moments with clarity, and surrounding yourself with women who actually get it. This isn't about hustling harder. It's about moving intentionally with the right tools and the right people in your corner. If you're ready to stop spinning, start choosing yourself, and build a career and life that actually feels aligned, I'd love to welcome you inside Her Collective. You can learn more and join us at http://www.joinhercollective.com.

Erica: Because honestly, girl, you were never meant to do this alone. Over the past few weeks, I have seen this Instagram post five or six times, and it says there is an entire generation of women who are drowning because they were raised with traditional gender roles while being empowered to be independent. These women still take on the majority of the house duties while simultaneously killing it in the workplace. They are tired, and that one, it hit close to home. And I wanna unpack it today because facts, y'all, this is a straight up fact.

Erica: And so many of us are struggling. But you know me, and I don't sit and struggle long. So we are going to talk about what we can do about it. Now I am so thrilled to be exploring this topic today. Being a woman in today's world, y'all, the struggle is real.

Erica: We are not just pursuing full on careers, and I want you to notice, I didn't say jobs. I said careers. But we are also the CEOs of our homes. We are managing households and shouldering the burden of all of the unpaid work. Now did you know that women around the world do an average of two and a half times more unpaid care and domestic work than men?

Erica: That's the cooking, the cleaning, the caregiving, and all the invisible tasks that go unnoticed but have a significant impact on our lives. I'm talking about making sure your kids' pencil pouch is packed and that you have the right shirt for spirit day. I'm talking about organizing the weekly family meals, volunteering at the schools because god knows teachers need our help, and getting the never ending laundry washed, folded, and put away. Every chore takes up precious moments of our time, and you know how I feel about time. It is the one true, unrenewable resource that we have, and it is ticking away with every chore that we have to do.

Erica: Now here's the real deal. It's not just about the workload. It's about how it affects our mental health and our self belief. Research shows that the pressure that we have to meet unrealistic societal expectations both at work and at home can lead to burnout and a loss of confidence in ourselves. Do you feel me on that?

Erica: Now hands up. How many of you have put some of these unrealistic expectations on yourself? If I had 10 hands, I swear they would all be up. We strive to be the perfect employee, the perfect partner, the perfect parent. We set these high standards on ourselves, and we are stretched so thin, y'all.

Erica: It is like we are transparent. But let's be real. No one can do it all. Not without paying a price. And that price can be really hefty.

Erica: And I know that for me, when I was really trying to take on everything, all the responsibilities to this ridiculously high level of perfection, my mental health was struggling. I wasn't getting good sleep. I was eating like shit. And then I was taking all of the stress out on my partner and my kids. And y'all, it was not a good look.

Erica: That perfect that I was striving for was backfiring and just blowing up in my face, and I wasn't happy. So I convinced myself that I could do this. I could balance it all. Right? We hear that all the time.

Erica: Balance, work life balance. Learn to balance your personal and your professional life. Balance your responsibilities. Blah blah blah. I call BS on balance because you simply cannot balance it all.

Erica: And when I talk about balance, I really envision this seesaw in my head, and you just can't live in this perfect state of equal and even all the time. Something happens. Maybe it's a sick kid, an injury, or some huge thing at work that requires all this overtime, and then boom, the scale tips in one direction. And, wham, one side hits the ground. And I just keep imagining this small kid on the end of a seesaw getting tossed to the ground and just crying their eyes out.

Erica: So if it's not balance, what is it? Well, I'll tell you. It's boundaries. Boundaries are key. You know this.

Erica: You cannot pour from an empty cup, and you certainly cannot be present in the boardroom if you are constantly sleep deprived and emotionally depleted. Now I had to set boundaries for myself. And they don't have to be huge. One of those not huge boundaries that I put up was walking away from my laptop at 5 PM, and also not scheduling any meetings for when the kids got home from school at 3 PM, because that was just chaos time in the house for the whole next hour until they settled down. Another boundary was not saying yes to everything.

Erica: I don't have to go to every dinner, every outing, every girls' night or gathering. And, honestly, once I started declining some of these events, I realized that I really do love staying at home in my jammies and having a quiet evening all cozied up in bed with my book. Now, side note here, it is amazing what you can learn about yourself when you just slow down and take a breath. Another boundary was lunch prep, y'all. Lunch prep for my kids.

Erica: This is super easy. I no longer pack five lunches a day for two kids, ten freaking lunches a week. I do what they call hot lunch, which means I go online once a track out, and I order that shit, and it shows up at their school. And on the days that they do not get hot lunch, they get Lunchables, which is just throw it in their lunchbox. And guess what?

Erica: They love it. They're fed. Everyone's happy. Everyone's fine. I get more time in my day.

Erica: There are no more bento boxes with cute cutout little cucumbers for me. Not doing it. So let me ask you, what boundaries can you put into place that just give you a little more peace in the day, a little more time in your life? What small change can you make that might lessen this burden that you feel? How can you ease up on the expectations that you are putting on yourself?

Erica: Figure out what those small ways are so that you can prioritize self care. And, yes, paying for hot lunch is a form of self care, y'all. OK? Let go of the guilt. Another thing to remember is vulnerability.

Erica: It is not a weakness. It takes strength to admit that we can't do it all alone. Reach out for support. Build your village and lean on your village. Delegate when you can.

Erica: All of those tasks, and for god's sake, if you have a partner or a spouse at home, get them involved in all of the shit that you have to do around the house. And then let go of perfect. We do not have to be perfect in every role that we play all the time. Embrace the messy. Embrace the imperfect moments.

Erica: Because that is where growth and real connection live. And guess what? Because we know we aren't perfect, who wants to have that perfect friend in their life? Not me. I want someone that I can connect with, someone like me, someone who's messy and forgets their kid at pickup one day and calls me last minute.

Erica: Oh my god. Can you help me? And then maybe they're all over the place with imperfect things. And when it comes to work, y'all know I'm all about growth and climbing the ladder, but you have to advocate for yourself. Know your worth, negotiate for all of that recognition and compensation that you deserve, and don't settle for less.

Erica: Now, you know I got plenty of episodes and resources on this podcast just on those two topics alone. And last, know you're not alone. The struggle is real. We know this. But the strength that you have inside of you is limitless.

Erica: You can be a total success in all areas of your life without being exhausted. So let's take that viral Instagram post. I connect with it, y'all, but let's take it and let's love it because we were raised traditionally, and that's okay. I love being a mom and cooking and doing all the mom things. I love being the primary caregiver.

Erica: But guess what? I also love being a C level leader. I love my career, and I love, love, love growth. And you can have both. You can have it all.

Erica: And you don't have to be tired. Get those eight hours of sleep. Put some boundaries in place. Stop putting a ceiling on what is possible, and start smashing through those damn unrealistic expectations and the damn glass. Now it's time for your reminder.

Erica: Please rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast, as it truly helps it land into the hands of the person that needs to hear it most. I'll catch you next time.