Erica: Hey, girl. By now, you know I have Her Collective, my online community for ambitious women who are done doing it alone. Her Collective is for the women who are smart, capable, and driven, but they find themselves stuck on the sticky floors like self doubt, burnout, and waiting for permission that quite honestly never comes. Inside HER, you get more than motivation. You get real support, real strategies, and real momentum. We work on things like clarifying what you want now and what's coming next, building confidence without burning yourself out, navigating hard conversations, career moves, and leadership moments with clarity, and surrounding yourself with women who actually get it. This isn't about hustling harder. It's about moving intentionally with the right tools and the right people in your corner. If you're ready to stop spinning, start choosing yourself, and build a career in life that actually feels aligned, I'd love to welcome you inside her collective. You can learn more and join us at www.joinhercollective.com. Because honestly, girl, you were never meant to do this alone. I'm your host, Erica Rooney, and today, I wanna ask you this question. Do you get stuck because you are worried about what others think? One of my favorite quotes probably of all time is what others think of you is none of your business by Regina Brett, a famous author and speaker. And I love it, but I don't necessarily live it. I struggle with the sticky floor of worrying about what others will think of me. I'm sure you've heard in some of my other episodes how I sat on this idea of hosting a podcast for months. I knew that I would love it. I knew that I could probably figure out how to do it, but I was so worried about the opinions of others that it kept me from action. I worried that people that I worked with would think that I cared less about my role as a chief people officer if I was spending time podcasting. I worried what my friends would think. I worried that those in my network would wonder why the heck I was even doing this at all. And when I gave up drinking, I worried that others would think less of me. I worried they would assume I was pregnant or that I had a problem, and I worried that people would think I wasn't fun anymore. And the question I have for myself, for you, if you're struggling with this like I am, is why? Why do I care about any of those things? And the truth is I care because I value the opinions of others. I care because I run with a group of people that are amazing and thoughtful and driven, and I respect the hell out of their opinions. I respect their ideas, and I also care because I'm human, and I have this desire to fit in and to be close with others. Now that all makes sense, but it just wasn't enough for me because I also know that my circle, the people that I truly care about will always respect me and push me to be better than I was the day before. And if they're not, they shouldn't be in my circle. So I started digging, and I found out some interesting stuff that really resonated with me. First of all, we care about what others think because when we get approval from others, it gives us this higher sense of self esteem. Deep down, we are convinced that how others view us matters to our self worth, and that affects how we view ourselves. Y'all, this is some psychology right here, and let's be clear. I'm no psychologist. I'm no therapist, but it makes sense to me. And I think that caring about what others think can be a good thing. It can push us to be better people. And I think that caring about what others think can be a good thing. It can push us to be better people and to make healthier decisions. It can push us to work harder for our dreams. But what happens when that worry about what others think becomes problematic? What happens when you're worrying so much about what someone is going to think of you that you lose sleep at night, that your anxiety starts to spike? What happens when we care how much someone perceives us actually interferes with our gut? And that's when it becomes a real sticky floor. That is when it has the potential to hold us back and to prevent us from being the best version of ourselves. It prevents us from acting. It prevents us from growing. Now I personally have known women who shied away from going after a dream or a goal because they were worried about what others thought. They stayed small when they should have been playing big. They didn't apply for that job. They didn't run that race. They didn't do the thing they wanted to do. Now there will be people who doubt you. There will be people who judge you. But you know what? Those people are not your people. You are not a buffet. You are not here to serve everyone. What you also need to take into account is that you can't read people's minds. So really, you don't know what other people are thinking. That person who you are so concerned about might be inspired by you. They might be envious of what you're doing. They might not be thinking about you at all. You have no idea. Now I also want you to hear about this concept that I read about called negativity bias. Now negativity bias causes our emotional response to negative events to feel amplified compared to similar positive ones. Now I believe that negativity bias hardwires us to think negative thoughts. For example, how many times have you thought, oh my gosh. They're not gonna like this presentation. They're not gonna think it's great. Instead of, dang it. I know they are going to love this. I killed it. I have definitely been there. So let's play a game. It's called the put a finger down game. You've probably seen it on TikTok or Instagram reels, but I want you to put a finger down if you have ever felt this way before. Number one, put a finger down if you ever didn't wear something that you loved because you thought someone else might not like it. Number two, put a finger down if you ever didn't do something that you wanted to do because you worried someone else might might not approve. Put a finger down if you ever changed your mind about a choice that you voiced at work because of the rest of the team chose a different option. Put a finger down if you ever didn't tell someone about something that you did because you worried about their reaction. And last, put a finger down if you ever did something that you didn't really wanna do because the group was doing it. Where does that leave you? Me? I've got zero fingers up, full transparency. But that doesn't mean that I can't work on this sticky floor of worrying about what others think. In fact, I am very aware that it is a sticky floor of mine. So I wanted to share with you some of the things that I do when I am in the stick. First thing is I have an accountability person. I have someone that I feel that I can go to when I'm worried about it, and I talk it through with them. I confide my worries, and they honestly they check me. They talk me through it. We talk about the best case scenarios and the worst case scenarios, and then it's my decision on what I wanna do next. I also ask myself, what is the courageous thing to do? And that's what I did when launching this podcast. One of my core values is courage. And when I get that feeling that I am stuck, I ask myself, am I being courageous? I also journal. Sometimes writing it out just helps. There's something about putting that pen to the paper where I can just put all my fears, my worries, and concerns down, and it really helps me gain clarity. I've heard meditation is a great one too. If you're not into journaling, you can try meditation. It's not my jam, but, again, whatever works. The biggest thing that I want you to do when you are feeling stuck is go back to the reason that you're doing something. If this is about your happiness, your growth, your health, your family, who cares what someone else is going to think? My podcast, I wanted to do that so that I could connect with other women and help them. I wanted to share these sticky floor stories so that others would know they're not alone. When it came to my drinking, I wanted to focus on my family and protect my mental health. I wanted to be more productive. And you know what? Because I'm doing what's right for me and what makes me happy, I am happy. The result is fulfillment. It's happiness. It's growth. It's connection with people that matter. So my moral of this story is, if you even put one finger down during the game earlier, I wanna ask you why. Why did you put it down? In full transparency, I don't believe that this is a sticky floor that I will ever totally be free of, but I do believe that I can get better at it. I can stop letting my fear of what others think hold me back. I can have that honest and sometimes scary and hard discussion with myself and do the thing that I worry about in spite of being scared. And I'm finding that every time I do, I'm getting a little bit better about it. I am worrying less, and I am living more. So my challenge for you today is if you put that finger down to really do one of those four things that I talked about, journaling, talking to somebody, meditating, asking yourself why, and pull yourself out of that sticky floor. Do you wanna grow your net worth? Then you have to expand your network. LinkedIn is the top networking site for professionals, but it can be daunting. You might not know what to post. But I have great news for you. I just released an ebook that can help you grow your network in an easy but strategic way that will help you attract the right audience to your page and even help you land on your next level role. I share with you my proven strategy to 10 x your network with meaningful connections, my five topic strategy that only adds value to your page, and templates and prompts that you can just copy and paste into your profile so that you don't have to do the work. Head to the show notes today, grab the link, and get my ebook now.